Aibu No security at Daughters dance class

I’m not “locked into” your responses.

I am replying to responses that are directly mentioning me.

So speaking to the dance teacher would be over the top? Just speaking to her? Really?

I’d expect the dance teacher to already have considered the safety and security of the children. To have some sort of contingency plan. Some sort of risk assessment.

If I spoke to an adult I was leaving my child/ren in the care of about how they plan to keep them safe and she had absolutely no clue, dismissed my concerns, or called me a “nut job” I’d definitely withdraw them from the class.

You seem to have locked into my responses, but I haven’t abused the OP. She asked if she IBU. I told her yes, and that her level of anxiety is over the top.
She is talking about contacting the dance teacher about security. What does she expect her to say? Dance classes can get very hot and unpleasantly muggy. It’s totally normal practice to open doors for fresh air. This should not generate Southport anxiety.
Opinion asked for. Opinion given.

That’s not true.
She is worried about it and STILL sends her daughter there.

The abuse she’s received for this has been repulsive.

It’s perfectly reasonable to worry about your child’s safety where security is lax, especially when places offering similar environments have incredibly stringent security standards.

No one would allow their child to attend a school where random people could walk in whenever they wanted. In fact, the school would be closed down by OFSTED for safeguarding failings.

Because she’s talking about a dance lesson, NOT in school. Extra-curricular activities held by private individuals or companies cannot generally have school-level security. To be so worried about it would lead to your children doing nothing outside of home and school.

I never demanded school style safety measures in activities. Just pointing out that the Risk is Low argument doesn’t really hold any water. It’s perfectly reasonable to feel weird about first taking your child to a Fort Knox nursery and then to a wide open activity later that day.

Maybe people don’t disagree with this, but as a pp said, it’s reasonable to state that activities can’t have the same level of security as school. Most people on this thread haven’t logically pointed that out though, they’ve just told the op that her anxiety is out of control etc which isn’t fair or right. Op hasn’t done anything wrong by wondering why the door of her kids dance class is wide open. “Risk is low, risk is low” being told her time and time again doesn’t help and doesn’t address the wider issues of how security is tight in some areas but others. It’s not unreasonable to ponder that

Actually, scratch that. No implications. Just flat out insults such as “nut job”

This thread is awful.

So why have so many posters mocked the OP and implied she’s crazy for being uncomfortable with the security levels?

It’s perfectly reasonable to state security in dance classes couldn’t be at the same level as schools because of financial constraints. That we have to make the decision whether it is worth the risk etc.

What is not ok is the disgusting minimising and collective sneering that has happened on this thread repeatedly.

“Just because a risk is low, doesn’t mean the stakes are high, and there shouldn’t be safeguarding measures in place”.

I don’t think anyone necessarily disagrees with this, but I guess depends how low or high you set the bar. Fortunately, attacks such as the dance class are very rare, hence why people are saying the situation should be taken in context.

And as I stated upthread, I wonder how many of these clubs that have locked the doors have carried out fire drills?

If we demand school-level security measures for everything, our kids will be unable to engage in any extra-curricular activities. It is simply unachievable in most locations, and unaffordable in the rest.
We can’t navigate life, and nor should we try to, with ZERO risk. It’s all about risk assessment and taking measured risks with awareness.

The point of the question is about the risk that pp keep talking about. “Op, chill out, you’re more likely to get hit by a car than an attacker break into a dance class”. This is not about that. It’s unlikely that an attacker will break into a school but there are still safeguarding processes in place. Just because a risk is low, doesn’t mean the stakes aren’t high, and there shouldn’t be safeguarding measures in place.

Apologies. I thought we were talking about OP’s concerns about her daughter’s dance class, and you were just exaggerating for effect.
No - I wouldn’t accept a school with no security.
Yes - I do accept dance classes, swim classes, skateboarding sessions, netball club, etc with no security other than the attendance of a teacher and any helper(s).

I don’t really know what the point of your question is though?

That’s how I grew up, and that was during the times if IRA bombings. Fortunately schools weren’t targets but other public places were. You didn’t know when or where an attack was going to happen.
(and I lived in England, not Ireland/Northern Ireland)

Completely agree

I SPECIFICALLY wrote schools.

If children are vulnerable in schools to members of the public then they are vulnerable in dance lessons to members of the public.

Stating that it would be logistically and financially impossible to ensure the same level of safety is a perfectly reasonable position.

Attempting to portray the OP as being neurotic and over protective by having concerns about a lack of security which we expect in other places we leave our children under others’ supervision is disgusting.

Yes I do.
For a tennis lesson, twice a week.
Courts are outdoors. No real barriers. People coming in and out.

EDIT to add
Youre not mentioning schools.
Schools are different just because if their size. Like it wouldnt let my child out of my sight in a shopping center Vut I’m happy to do so in says tennis courts.

I asked whether you would be happy sending your child to a school with no security gates or anything to keep members of the public being able to freely access it.

The fact you refused to answer speaks volumes.

For a 45 minute dance class, yes of course.

Just don’t open it again.

HTH

Would you send your child to school somewhere where there were no gates or lock or intercoms?
Where anybody off the street could walk in whenever the way wanted?

Agree

There is nothing wrong with wanting things to change after that horrific tragedy though. We don't know what the op is conveying to her child I'm assuming she's quite calm because she is still sending her child to dancing. Putting thoughts down and wondering if she should say something about safety. Open doors,people wandering in and out of a building isn't paranoia imo, just a concerned parent.

She’s still thinking about Southport and the guy who murdered his family in Luton.
That is too much. And anxiety like that is easily transferred to children. It needs to be addressed.

I don't think wanting a bit of extra security and vigilance at a children's activity Is "paranoia" and stopping the op enjoying life.

This sort of paranoia and general anxiety will severely affect your enjoyment of life, and that of your daughter. Please get help for it.