To feel very sobered by this thought?

Just wanted to say thank you to everyone sharing their stories and massive sympathy to you all.

So many of these comments resonate with me - the posters who've been called morbid and who assume they'll die young or feel like they have no road map because of a lost parent.

It's a comfort to think I'm not the only one who thinks like this. Let's all do our best to enjoy the time we have 😀

I'm 5 years off my mum being dead for more of my life than she was alive. It's awful.

I’m about 18 months off the age my mum was when she died. It’s been lurking in the back of my mind and I’ve been trying to shove it aside, as I’ve got a feeling I might have a bit of mental breakdown 😬

Yes me too x

I get it. I’m early 60s and not far off the age my dad was when he died - I was a teen when it happened. He seemed old to me at the time - he was 49 when I was born - but now it seems no age to die.

My dad died of heart failure at 48, after 3 previous heart attacks.
As I approached that age it started to prey on my mind, so at 49 I went to see my GP to ask if I was at risk. His response was that we’d only know when I keeled over. Very comforting.
I had another crisis approaching 67, which I’d heard was the average age people used to die after retirement.
On the other hand I won’t need to feel that way again for another 20 years, until I approach the age DM died.

Im the same...I have always assumed I would die young too. Because of that I've never really made any long term provisions or plans for old age...DH is always going on about pensions...I told him I just have always assumed I'd die before I'd ever need one.

I feel it hugely! My brother is older than me and felt the same thing. He said it's been easier since he moved beyond that age.
I feel like we should all meet up and go and sit in a big hall together and trauma bond 😁

Another kind of weird realisation was that I have been with my DH for longer than my parents were together....that felt a bit strange too. Almost like I'm more "grown up" now than my parents ever were...not sure if that makes sense.

I'm five years older now than my mum when she died. I felt like I lost my road map for the future when I crossed her age. It was a very lost feeling. I still feel like ut at times.

Thank you @WinceyWill - and so sorry for your loss too. My mum was 36 when I was born, and I was almost five when she died. It is such a profound loss to lose a parent when you're still a child 💐. Not that is is easy at any age, of course.

Not death related but I realised a few years ago that I was the same age as my mum was when she'd just dropped me at Uni and become an empty nester - and she seemed so old to me at the time, and now I'm that age and it occurs to me that that's how my DC see me- ie completely differently to how I see myself.

I thought I was the only one who thought like this - my ex boyfriend even called me morbid. On 8 July this year I’ll be older than my mum ever got to be. At 52 I’m already five years older than my brother got to be. I’ve booked the day off and I’m going to do something really nice - not sure yet, but need to live the rest of my life as if they were bonus days.

Oh I get this 100%. I’m now 3 years older than my mum was and scarily 37 years older than my sister when she died. As I’ve got older I see each year past my mum’s age as a gift. I do my best to live well, to live for her as well as for me.

I miss them both terribly,

I had these feeling too.

My mum died age 41, and was only diagnosed with cancer one week before she died. I've got photos of her looking absolutely fine just months before she died. I never expected to get past this age somehow - it was a bit surreal when I did (I'm 52 now). My colleague who lost his dad when they were a child felt exactly the same (he is also now well past the age his dad was).

Big hugs. It can be very sobering to think where you/your parents were at certain times.

When my mother left my dad, she was nearly 36 and by the time she was 40, she had belatedly completed her last year of university and put herself through law school plus was parenting 2 tweens. Realising that in my late 30s increased my awe for her.
My father's mother died suddenly at 65 and I know when he reached that age, he thought a lot about those days. He will be 80 in a few weeks!

Living well is the best way to honour her. Make her proud!

Can I just say thank you for this.

I’ve lost both my parents before I was 40 and my eldest is coming home to the same age I was when I lost the first. I am really struggling with this concept and nobody seems to understand when I say i assume I’ll die young. You’ve made me feel a lot less dramatic.

Sorry to hear that cancer took your mom in such a devastating manner.
However, I am struggling to understand what is so special about December 1983.
So I understand correctly, your mom passed away in April 1998. (That comes from adding 13.5 years to December 1983 and then one extra year, as per your post).
You have now the same age as she had when she still had 14.5 years ahead of her (ie: December 1983).
6 months ago, you had the same age she had when she still had 15.years ahead of her (ie: June 1983)
In one year time, you will have the same age she had when she still had 13.5 years ahead of her (ie: December 1984).
I can't wrap my ahead about what December 1983 is any more special than any other time.
Why do you say if feels like magical ?

Ah yes that’s not the same as a diagnosis or death. I wonder what the significance of 13.5 years is, wouldn't the previous year have been 14.5 years and the same age as her mum? 🤷‍♀️

I remember year’s ago Madonna alluding to this. She was approaching the age her own mother died (it was young, maybe 32) and it had a big effect on her. It seems to be a very normal reaction.

I could understand being freaked out if you were now the age your mum was when she was diagnosed or when she died, but what is the significance in being thirteen and a half years younger than she was when she was diagnosed? It's pretty random.