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Original poster

Not to drink on my Hen dos?

61 replies

butterfly172 · 24/03/2025 09:59

I completed Dry January and since then I’ve drank a handful of times, however I’m a binge drinker and don’t have just one or two drinks! The hangovers are awful and I suffer terrible anxiety and I’m thinking of dropping alcohol as I’ve been sober curious for a while.
However, I’m getting married in May and I’ve got 2 Hen do’s planned…is it unreasonable for me not to drink alcohol at these events and even my wedding??
One of the Hen dos is one week before my wedding and the depression/anxiety left to me by a hangover can last a week!

OP posts:
5foot5 · 24/03/2025 10:21

I went to a hen do that was a meal out and the bride to be gave some of us a lift home afterwards as she wasn't drinking at the time.
Perfectly reasonable choice.

Resilience · 24/03/2025 10:14

Of course YANBU. However, how easy this will be to pull off in practice is very much going to depend on your friends.

If this was me, my friends would probably take the piss but be supportive. It wouldn’t be a big deal. In other friendship groups I suspect it might not be that easy. If your friends try to bully you into drinking then clearly they are shit friends, but it’s more likely they’ll just annoy you by asking what’s brought it on and “are you sure you don’t want an alcoholic drink?” - which can be wearing and take the edge off things for you. If you think that might be the case, consider changing the event to something that lends itself less to drinking.

TickingAlongNicely · 24/03/2025 10:11

Your body your choice.
Be prepared for the inevitable questions about pregnancy though. As apparently a woman who doesn't drink must be pregnant....

MellowPinkDeer · 24/03/2025 10:10

I think you can give up whatever you want and do whatever you want for your hen do!!

i am so tempted to give up drinking myself , I’m sure I’d feel so much better for it but my friendship / family group things are often centred around drinks and that makes me feel nervous?

Purrree · 24/03/2025 10:10

What settings are your hen dos?

If its a late night bar with a stripper you may feel oblidged on the night 🤣

I don't drink and would probably plan things that dont centre around getting drunk. A spa day or day lunch etc

ApolloandDaphne · 24/03/2025 10:09

I went to a hen do where the bride and the brides mum chose not to drink and we all had a great time. No one can force you to drink. Just say you are detoxing to keep your skin lovely or whatever. have fun!

Lulooo · 24/03/2025 10:08

Not at all. Being alcohol free is such a clearer way to enjoy yourself. If anyone judges you for it then that’s their problem not yours.

DenholmElliot11 · 24/03/2025 10:07

It's not a legal requirement!

LadyDanburysHat · 24/03/2025 10:07

YANBU at all. You should never feel compelled to drink at any time, and it being your hen do is no reason to drink. I think depending on your friends you may have to ensure you buy all of your own drinks, as there are always some people who see those not drinking as a judgement on their drinking.

Fakesmiles · 24/03/2025 10:06

definitely not bu and you might find a lot of your friends feel the same way.

I think a lot of people expect it to a boozy get together but that doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t enjoy a sober one. Can you mention it to whoever is organizing that you would prefer something less boozy?

I personally would prefer a spa day or if it’s a night away, a few mocktails and good nights sleep sounds bliss to me (but I have children so maybe am not the same crowd)

truecrimelover · 24/03/2025 10:06

Of course it's not unreasonable