Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

STOP calling people "a Karen"

385 replies

PaperwhiteTheFriendlyGhost · 24/03/2025 07:50

Why are people so lazy and ignorant? Ironically they use it in some instances to berate someone for a perceived insult. Maybe this should be on Pedants' Corner, I don't know.

OP posts:
Hardtotalkt · 24/03/2025 08:27

The American videos are justified. A lot of racist white women faking tears and being hurt.

Stellaris22 · 24/03/2025 08:26

It's the 21st century equivalent of the feeling that led to the witch trials.

Oh please ….

PaperwhiteTheFriendlyGhost · 24/03/2025 08:25

Stellaris22 · 24/03/2025 08:24

I work in retail and don’t use the term myself, but I don’t see it as rude or a way to ‘shut women up’. It’s describing women who are rude and nasty to staff. Or should retail staff meekly put up with unpleasant behaviour?

You miss the point. Of course they shouldn't. But call them out without using a woman's name.

OP posts:
Stellaris22 · 24/03/2025 08:24

I work in retail and don’t use the term myself, but I don’t see it as rude or a way to ‘shut women up’. It’s describing women who are rude and nasty to staff. Or should retail staff meekly put up with unpleasant behaviour?

RhaenysRocks · 24/03/2025 08:23

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

But it isn't just used for that. It's used for any woman over 25 who might ask people to stop behaving in an anti social way, or politely but assertively asking for decent customer service. No one is saying it's ok to verbally abuse waiters, call centre and reception staff (or anyone) but this insult is absolutely used to shut women up. It's the 21st century equivalent of the feeling that led to the witch trials.

paradisecircus · 24/03/2025 08:23

Fully agree, using names (male OR female) to signal ridiculous stereotypes makes me wince.

dialfor · 24/03/2025 08:20

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

It doesn’t bother you because your name is not Karen

PaperwhiteTheFriendlyGhost · 24/03/2025 08:19

Nameychangington · 24/03/2025 08:06

People aren't calling 'people' a Karen. They call women a Karen. It's a misogynist insult used to shut women up. Quite often, by those who think of themselves as so progressive and inclusive. They'd never be caught dead using racist or homophobic insults, but feel fully justified in using a misogynist one. Hatred of women is so prevalent it's invisible to many

I've seen men called Karen on some social media posts. Which shows the stupidity.

OP posts:
Okayornot · 24/03/2025 08:19

5128gap · 24/03/2025 08:08

Really? You've seen more women complaining and throwing their weight around than men? Do you live in an area very sparsely populated by men?

I imagine it’s only women having opinions that rankles.

Okayornot · 24/03/2025 08:18

It’s code for “bitch”. Not ok at all.

ADifferentSong · 24/03/2025 08:17

My 11 year old son came home with it from School a few weeks ago. A girl in his class had taught it to him. A reasonably intelligent girl as well. It is so insidious.

homehaircut · 24/03/2025 08:15

I also hate Debbie downer, it just has to be a woman's name, doesn't it?

5128gap · 24/03/2025 08:08

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

Really? You've seen more women complaining and throwing their weight around than men? Do you live in an area very sparsely populated by men?

User37482 · 24/03/2025 08:07

Yeah it’s a way to shut women up, hate it.

BinChicken1 · 24/03/2025 08:06

Yeah I hate it. Although to be honest I only ever see it online. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone use it in real life

Nameychangington · 24/03/2025 08:06

People aren't calling 'people' a Karen. They call women a Karen. It's a misogynist insult used to shut women up. Quite often, by those who think of themselves as so progressive and inclusive. They'd never be caught dead using racist or homophobic insults, but feel fully justified in using a misogynist one. Hatred of women is so prevalent it's invisible to many

MidnightPatrol · 24/03/2025 08:04

Karen appears to mean ‘woman with an opinion / willing to stand her ground’ now too.

Women standing up for themselves in even the most minor of ways = what a demanding bitch

MyUmberSeal · 24/03/2025 08:02

Augustus40 · 24/03/2025 07:53

Yes and often women saying it.

Agree. In my experience, it’s the mainly other women that say it.

redphonecase · 24/03/2025 08:02

Yup. It's a lazy misogynistic trope and I lose all respect for anyone who uses it

Theunamedcat · 24/03/2025 08:01

Yes but it is funny when they try the "ok Karen" to silence me and I reply yes that's my name don't wear it out or as we are clearly not close friends I think I prefer Ms x from you

TickingAlongNicely · 24/03/2025 08:01

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

Unfortunately its useful to describe any woman not those who are being rude, aggressive or racist.

charmanderflame · 24/03/2025 08:00

It does really surprise me when middle aged women use it about other middle aged women.

You are literally the demographic that this is insulting and belittling, why are you doing this?

NotTerfNorCis · 24/03/2025 08:00

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

That's just not true though.

Never heard 'Darren' used in that way.

People just don't care as much about men being assertive. That's the root of the problem.

SwanOfThoseThings · 24/03/2025 07:59

MixedBananas · 24/03/2025 07:55

Nope. Its use is fine as they use Daren for men who are the "let me speak to your Manager type" paychos as well. I seen more Karens UN the wild then Darens , personally.

As a Woman it doesn't bother me because I don't rage in public at service workers or random citizens.

People always come onto Karen threads saying 'Oh, but it's fine because the male equivalent is <insert random male name that no one has ever heard used in this context>.

PaperwhiteTheFriendlyGhost · 24/03/2025 07:58

Augustus40 · 24/03/2025 07:53

Yes and often women saying it.

Absolutely. I've had several arguments with different women about this over the weekend.

OP posts: