If you’d booked a babysitter

You seem very hostile towards babysitters, not wanting to feed nor get them safely home. Bad experiences? If you have a child who starts babysitting when older you might change your mind..

Regarding the payment, I always try to pay on the night and one of our babysitter only takes cash so she is paid as she leaves. If it's really late I'll usually leave it until the morning, mainly because I don't want to make a mistake with the amount.
I would always make sure I pay the next morning though, whether it's 2 or 7h (and whether it's a babysitter or any one else providing a service).

As for the other points being debated here:

• if there is food (e.g. I've been baking that day, or the babysitter is giving the kids dinner), I will make sure there is an extra portion of they want it and will let them know to help themselves. Most bring their own food or eat before though, so would usually only take the tea and cakes. I would not pay for take out or anything like this, or prepare a meal just for them if the kids have had dinner already. We also don't tend to have much snacks like biscuits or crisps in the house, so I wouldn't mind them having some but I won't buy it just for them. When I go to work I don't expect my employer to feed me, I think that's a norm across most industries.

• they need to sort out transportation, we don't pay for taxis etc. The few that have taken the bus have had issues, particularly if they live far, so we would give them a chance but our regular babysitters have always been local and/or driving.

Coffee/ water yes. And if they would stay late in the evening babysitting my children they would be fed as well:)

You’re wrong. After a certain time you pay for someone to get home safely. Certainly in London or any big city.

OP - I always paid cash either physically or by transfer when I got home and before my sitter left. I ordered a cab from my account so the payment automatically came from me. You need to be clear and upfront about receiving payment before you leave their house/flat.

In this day and age transferring money online, instantly, is the norm and there are no excuses not to do it.

Im a single parent so I had a full network of help, none of the ladies I used would have done the job if I didn’t pay them then and there.

I have never not paid a babysitter before they left and it's really off of them not to have paid you.

On the food thing, I think it depends on when they're starting.

If you've asked them to come at 6, knowing they've just finished work at 5.30, you know they won't have had time to eat dinner. In that case I'd probably say "on the food front, is there anything we can get you?"

If, however, your babysitting is starting at 8pm, and you got off work at 5.30, I'd assume you'd eaten before you came. I'd probably leave some snacks out though and say help yourself to tea, coffee, soft drinks, etc.

It's not really comparable to a plumber or gardener IMO - babysitters are often doing the work for extra cash and as a favour, not as a full time job.

Would you offer the same to your gardener/plumber/decorator?

my mum used to feed all of them... the plumber quoted for the job and it last 4 weeks

If they aren't paying you until 3 days later - then those particular families, you let them know a deposit is required of £60 going forward

Send them all a text message after you have been paid for Saturday night

Stipulate that if you have not had a deposit of £60 for the date required when booking you will no longer be able to babysit. Unfortunately due to a situation that arose moving forward a deposit will be require from anyone wanting you to work with them and their children. Hopefully everyone will understand.

You don't have to let anyone know the situation arising is having an overdraft etc - but you've done the work and want paying promptly

I babysit for 3 families and one pays on the night before I leave, the other two always pay the following morning.

I had one who didn't pay for 3 or 4 days, and I am never available to babysit on the nights she requests... she stopped asking

Know your worth

They can but they usually don't, they bring their own. Either way, would you not think it was odd if your decorator expected you to feed them and fund their transport home?

Omg! That’s insane. We pay our babysitter on the night before she leaves - she checks her bank account to check the payment has gone through as we usually transfer it. I never expected anything different tbh. It takes minutes to log into online banking and send money. Her mum or dad usually picks her up as she doesn’t drive, but if she ever can’t get a lift home we order her an uber and pay for it from our account so she was never out of pocket.

She did state these terms before we used her for the first time though - hourly rate, payment on the night before she leaves, payment for transport home if she can’t get a lift. Could you do this OP but also state that non-payment will incur late fees of X for every day they aren’t paid? Send a text out to all your regular users about the updated terms - we got one from our usual sitter in January when she put her hourly rate up and she took the opportunity to reinforce her terms of payments etc. No issues from us as we know where we stand.

We also ask her what she wants food wise before she comes and get it in for her so that’s all sorted, usually a pizza or pasta or something if she does an evening and needs tea. We also say she’s welcome to bring and cook her own stuff, but we’re happy to get stuff in her for too. We have no family nearby to ask and it’s so hard to find people you trust enough to watch your children, and we’re just grateful we have her as DH and I’d rarely get date nights (not that we do it regularly!). We don’t want to p*ss her off so she won’t come again! (She’s DS old key worker from his old nursery and we still use her even though he’s now at a different preschool).

I fully agree and it’s a job. I’m paying for a job- I don’t mind them helping themselves to
anything but I wouldn’t put anything out or buy anythin specifically . But if my family babysit for free I’d leave food out and wine .

we pay in cash. It’s not about what people offer, it’s what the babysitter asks for. Just be upfront about it. ‘It will be cash on the night, is that ok?’ And then when you arrive say, ‘just a reminder that I only take cash in case you need to stop at a bank machine on the way home’

Past babysitter stage now but I would always pay on the night in either cash or transfer. I’d always order them an uber from my account too or put them in the black cab I’ve just stumbled out of.

I think when you’re arranging the babysitting, before the actual night, you should just say you’ll need paying on the night please. You shouldn’t have to, but probably easier to be clear at the beginning than at the end of the night when everyone’s a little worse for wear.

Would you offer the same to your gardener/plumber/decorator?

Of course they order themselves a taxi home because that's them paying for themselves. You're offering a service, it's a business. If you had a plumber or a decorator or gardener in your home, would you make dinner for them and pay for their taxi home?

To begin with I was quite sympathetic to your quandary about how/when to chase money but you're increasingly coming across as entitled. Expecting them to get you a taxi because 'they think nothing of getting a taxi home themselves' is an appalling and very odd attitude.

You need to learn a bit if business sense!

I have both the NatWest and Halifax banking apps and you can do this on both of them.

They both give the option to send a link or produce a QR code that can be scanned there and then.

The link would be better though in your case.

As to your original question, I'd pay the minute I either got home, or when you got home (if I was waiting for taxi info), or the next morning if I'd fallen asleep by the time you got home!

If I got home at midnight after a nice dinner and bit of wine I wouldn’t be faffing about with banking. I’d do it the next day though.

This.

Have you babysat for this family before? Were they aware of the cost in advance? Not that it matters. They should have paid you on the night.

Well surely you got bread/pasta/cheese/fruit whatever at home. So you can just basically tell the sitter to help herself. I would atleast have a pizza in the freezer if she wanted and some nibbles/chocolate to propose. It's basic hospitality to offer something to eat and drink to your sitter.

I pay immediately.

you need to make your expectations clear in advance going forward

Absolutely - this is my take.

I choose to pay a professional professional rates, they need to figure out the rest.

I really don't have the time or enthusiasm to check what food they like, order it in especially, or factor in a variable price for a taxi home. I just want to pay a sensible rate and have them sort it out because I pay a professional not a teen.