The most shocking thing about the maternity enquiries is how unshocked I am.

Oh god that’s awful. I saw one where the poor woman was in stirrups and the dr said something along the lines of ‘im just going to examine you okay?’ then put his fingers in before she could even answer. Someone actually commented on the video that the lady was technically assaulted by the dr which generated lots of angry replies! It’s crazy what women are expected to endure.

But yes OBEM shows a lot of these situations, what’s worrying is that they must be on best behaviour considering they know every movement is being filmed? You have to wonder what the culture is like away from cameras.

My grandchild was born just over 2weeks ago …fair to say that the birth was hideous,baby basically dragged out by ventouse because the midwives just didn’t act on the decelerations ,right from triage!!
Am not necessarily blaming them ,but clearly there is a problem with priorities. Baby had Apgar scores of 1,2 and 4 after 14 minutes!! Am still processing how close this could have been to a tragedy .
Having flashbacks and nightmares but so thankful that we have a live baby 🙏

The following morning I had a maternity assistant (I think that’s what they are called) come to see me who was so kind and caring and helped get me and the baby cleaned up. That was pretty much the only kindness I was shown the whole time.

It's amazing how even basic kindness makes such a difference. I know MWs are stretched and stressed but often the kind of kindness that transforms your experience doesn't have to be big or take lots of time.

I remember two auxiliary nurses coming to clean me up after my first C-section - an EMCS after a very long labour and I was exhausted, had a drip and a catheter and was barely functioning. These two lovely older women were washing me and jollying me along, making jokes like "you'd pay £80 at a spa for this!" and just being caring turning me over and so on, and admiring the baby. It makes you feel human. They had to do that job either way, it took no extra time or effort to be kind, and probably made their day nicer too.

After my second I had to go back into hospital with my newborn, with a bad mastitis infection, and was trying to get BF going but it was very hard and painful. One nurse would come to help me sometimes and she'd squeeze my shoulder during the latching. It helped with the pain and just felt so warm and kind. It was the tiniest thing but I've never forgotten it.

I had a vaginal delivery with gas and air. Had a 3rd degree tear. Had a spinal block a this point and went into surgery to be stitched up. Just as I started getting feeling back in my legs a nurse on the ward told me my catheter bag was full and to go to the toilet to empty it. I'm ashamed to say I did, like the dutiful people pleaser I was.

So sorry for the horrors that women have experienced. This is exactly why I went private. World of difference. I’ve never heard a good story about maternity care - pre or post.

I had gestational diabetes and when my dd was born there was obviously a check on her sugar levels. She was borderline and so the chief midwife nastily told me to give her a bottle of formula straight away or they’d remove her from me to special care and we wouldn’t have her with us. Basically emotionally blackmailed us to bottle feed instead of trying to breast feed. Then once we were on the post natal ward we were basically ignored. I was glad to be out within 24 hours.

Years ago someone linked to the midwives chat room and it was appalling, dehumanising talk of women.
It's staggering that at the most vulnerable moment of our lives the people speficically trained to keep us alive and well hate us so much. Some of them.
And this pushing of "natural" birth is obscene.

After my long labour, back to back 9lb baby, failed ventouse, forceps and stitched 3rd degree tear, DS was in NICU with head injuries (I’ve already described the shocking and disgusting attitude from the midwives on the ante natal ward), I was feeling very sore and low. I was in bed, still numb from the epidural and I had a midwife come up to me and ask why I hadn’t been to see my baby.
I replied that I wasn’t feeling steady in my feet yet and she said ‘oh well you must get Involved in his care otherwise we’ll have to speak to the social worker’. I explained I’d only had the baby that evening (this was midnight).
it turned out she’d mixed me up with another mother who was in the next bed who’s baby had been in NICU 3 days and she wasn’t going down to visit him.

The shit ‘care’ continued over the next few days, my slippers had gone missing (they were still in the delivery suite covered in blood as it happened) I was shouted at for leaving my bed without slippers but no one would look for them for me (they were found 2 days later - so much for the cleaning in the suite). Toilets were filthy, blood over the floors etc. They brought food around (huge boiled potatoes, beans and reformed ham) - it was slammed down on the communal table in the ward - I was told ‘get out of bed, you’re not allowed to eat in bed Princess’.

There was a total bullying nature from almost everyone I met. I was told I had to feed baby myself despite me not having any milk at all - if I didn’t feed him I wouldn’t be able to go home etc. He was being fed nasogastrically at the time and they put him on my breast but I didn’t have a clue and he has no suck reflex. I was given no support, just rolling eyes and ‘keep at it’.

Day 5 they took his feeding tube out at 8am and gave him to me on the ward - still no milk from me, I tried all day to feed him and he screamed and screamed all day. Not a jot of help from anyone all day long until eventually at 8pm, tired of his screaming a nursing assistant came over and said ‘you’d better try and bottle otherwise you’ll never go home’.

So that was my breastfeeding out the window.

Shocking treatment. I made sure I went to a different hospital for my second baby. For years I hated stepping foot in the original hospital, i remember having to take DS back for a hip scan and I almost had a panic attack.

I think that it is a bit of a spiral - the NHS spends a LOT of money on litigation (brain damaging a child is very expensive for care for life and the emphasis on vaginal birth at all costs and keeping alive a turf war with doctors and understaffing has all contributed to this).

As a result, the NHS has become defensive, so if they do anything for you they have to write down (in my Trust anyway - oddly, it feels as if they don’t have to write down that they haven’t offered you anything!), so you’re kind of penalised as a midwife for being kind and effective with lots more paperwork. This must be very demoralising.

I’ve had some absolutely terrible care and some great care whilst having my two babies, but I think that what struck me most was the indifference. I was induced with my first and it took a long time - baby was back to back and I did a lot of all fours and walking in our room (all private rooms in our hosp, which is great, save that you have to be prepared to push the buzzer otherwise no one is coming to see if you are ok) and around the hospital with my husband. Husband went to sleep for a couple of hours on the floor in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep so I did rounds of the ward, walked past the desk dozens of times. No one asked me how I was, or even smiled at me in hours. Was just super weird. And there were two midwives at the desk having a cup of tea and a chat almost throughout.

I think that the paperwork puts HCPs off volunteering on our postnatal ward and they just rely on the buzzer. But it’s probably also understaffing (not just understaffing though, because I got a sulky HCA very quickly when I pressed mine to ask for my syringes of colostrum from the fridge). I had a dicey EMCS first time and an ELCS second and, as per previous posters, no one helps you with the tray (and then, in my case, my stitches split a bit and I got told off for doing too much like I was a young child), or indeed anything voluntarily - you have to be prepared to push the buzzer and be treated as unreasonable or a massive hassle. With my second, it was very isolating, as no one even did drug rounds - I was given access to the medicine cupboard across the room and I had to write down what I took and when, with no one checking on me at all in 12 hours overnight. Apparently, this was a trial intended to empower patients…

plus, the number of midwives who quizzed me on why I had a CS, as if I had really let the side down….

After the birth of my first child, I used to fantasise about hunting down the MWs and the doctors that “cared” for me and torturing them like they tortured me. Not a healthy way to spend the first few months of motherhood. I had home births (I always called the MW too late to interfere) with my other 3 DC because I couldn’t face returning to the hospital. I cannot watch childbirth on TV or talk to anyone about it without cringing.

Nothing will improve the NHS maternity services. Mothers and babies will continue to die and “lessons will be learnt” - women are not listened to and they are not valued. I cannot ever see this changing.

I had two good births on NHS - only bad experience was overnight pnd wards.

My Dsis had awful experience with first all way though pg and birth.

Then I had my third not that far from sister having moved- very near one of the big scandal area with many staff having worked and trained in scandal area. It was so awful we complained in end - and management agreed we had a case and now ebverything would be better but if anything care got worse - lucky I give birth easily else me and/or my youngest would be dead. It was frankly unbelivable.

However while not unique experience at all - not listening to mothers knowing better ignoring data changing notes afterwards having a really poor attitude to mothers- etc but we were still minoirty - by by time I left area 7 years later we weren't and I knew mothers who lost babies preventably. That was 8 years ago - I don't think it's improved since as cuts will have made it worse.

I think attitudes and poor practises have slow spread out and proliferated- along side shortages and cuts - so no not surprised at all.

And a midwife fucking milked me without my consent!

I had a very similar experience.

Same OP - my DD and I could easily have been more childbirth death statistics, same with my two best friends and their DC - and all due to actions/inactions of NHS staff. In my experience, the midwives & nurses were entirely incompetent, entirely lacking in knowledge and entirely bereft of any sort of human compassion, they were purely & simply rude af. But the fact that they didnt seem remotely capable of doing their jobs is the scariest part. I can’t imagine that has changed in the past 10 years.

Im childfree by choice so havent had the experiences shown here but i stopped taking HRT because it made me bleed and they kept wanting to send me for a hysteroscopy (just in case) without a GA. So im not taking HRT anymore Not putting myself through it. Stopped HRT just over six months ago. No more bleeding

There was one where a doctor shoved his fingers inside and woman in labour even though she begged him not to and then told her off for refusing, saying “No, no, come on now”. She blamed herself afterwards.

Another showed a woman suddenly getting v quickly to 10cm and asking for an epidural. The midwife laughed at her, told her to get a grip and then took her gas and air off her saying “You don’t need this it’s a distraction”.

Evil people.

When I have broth the young student midwife was an absolute treasurer and the other 2 older midwives were the ones being awful and withholding pain relief u til my DH had to really get firm with them. I hope the student midwife is still as lovely today.

My cousin's DIL and DS are both doctors. The DIL is in obstetrics and was very nervous of giving birth because of things she had seen.

They now have a lovely baby, but both nearly died in spite of the fact that the DS was advocating for his wife all the way through. The hospital tried to turn them away and then tried to insist that they drive more than a hundred miles to another hospital.

The DIL nearly died of sepsis.

Panorama are doing a programme tonight. Fixing the NHS What will it take?
Im expecting a load of patient blaming shite

I’ve had good experiences with both my births. However I appreciate this is very fortunate

It's been like this for years.

I'm in my 60s. When my mum was expecting me, she went to ante-natal classes and the importance of panting/breathing was stressed.

Her gynaecologist was on annual leave. A fortnight before I was due, the stand-in told her that I was breech and tried to turn me. Said "It won't turn!" and sent her home.

Her waters broke that night. Ambulance was called and Mum was taken into the hospital.

In the labour room, she began her breathing exercises. "We'll have none of that in here!" declared the midwife. [Mum told me that wasn't sure whether the midwife didn't approve of new-fangled breathing exercises, or whether she assumed that she was panicking.]

On the third day of labour her own gynae returned from leave. "It'll soon be over, my dear."

It was too late for a caesarian. She was put under and given an episiotomy. Mum was a petite 'elderly prim' at the age of 35. I was 9lbs.

As Mum later said, my dad nearly lost the both of us.

After the birth, a nurse made a mess of inserting a catheter. "Oops! Wrong hole!" Mum said that the pain was excruciating.

She did try for more children after that, but had three miscarriages.

Absolutely horrific as many stories on this thread are.
So awful to hear that the best time of peoples lives has scarred them so deeply.

I was desperate to be a midwife but always too scared of the achedmic side of the course. Feeling quite relieved now as I would definitely have struggled in this kind of environment.

Another one not surprised.

I had excellent care with my second (planned c sec because of how my first went) but my first was horrific. I too couldn’t believe how callous the midwives were.

The following morning I had a maternity assistant (I think that’s what they are called) come to see me who was so kind and caring and helped get me and the baby cleaned up. That was pretty much the only kindness I was shown the whole time.

Ok. Well that makes a lot more sense

Honestly, it’s these sorts of stories that make me glad I had elective c sections. I know every birth is different but it seemed the least risky approach to me. I also find it telling that most of the doctors and medical professionals I know have planned c sections when their time comes. Some of these stories are scandalous.