Shall I tell her to stick it?

This is exactly my opinion on the situation.

Hahahaha, says the lady calling a request for petrol money a shakedown 😂😂😂

It’s a situation where it’s polite to offer petrol money but rude to accept.

She is doing you a MASSIVE favour.

She should not be giving lifts to a pupil.
Her car insurance will state she should not be taxiing people 'for hire or reward' - contributing towards petrol is exactly that.

So she's trying not to leave a trail of evidence that she is doing exactly that by having you send funds to her DS rather than her own bank account.

I agree with this sentiment. Having given a neighbour’s child a lift to work for many years, and although I was glad to do it, it was quite an imposition in a way to carry out in practice. Even though we lived next door to one another, it was still a bit of a pain because you have to bear it in mind all the time. Unfair of me because she used to collect our children and bring them home, so she did a# much as I did. It’s just the added responsibility of doing it every school day, there was no chance to take them in early if I had something I needed to do. On paper, this makes me look bad, but anyone else in the same position will understand. It’s the fact it’s someone else’s child, and you are bound to be a bit more regimented, but it’s not even just that. I can’t explain it really.

You’re being utterly unreasonable. I can’t actually believe you’re so out of touch to be thinking you’re the one who should be annoyed at this!

You understand this person is doing you a favour? And has done for many years?? You come across as quite unappreciative. You have two choices -
Thank her for her help over the years and make alternate arrangements

Pay towards petrol and continue accepting the favour.

what she does with the petrol money is really none of your business

It sounds like the lifts are extremely convenient for you and it would be difficult for you to get your son to and from school otherwise. In those circumstances I'd very happily pay up and be grateful!

Just pay what she wants how she wants it. Like you've repeatedly said, you have no other option, so telling her to "stick it" would be cutting off your nose to spite your face.

Oh yes Op-tell her that you don't want the lift anymore-that'll show her!

You have to be joking. She’s doing you a massive favour. Just pay to the son or ask for her bank details. She saves on a bit of petrol you don’t have to drop and collect your child! Win win. Or don’t and drop and collect your child (plus pay the full amount of petrol to do so) x

Hopefully she sees this and tells YOU to "stick it" ungrateful so and so.

Definitely a shakedown. How dare she. Take the moral high ground and do the twice a day hour long round trip yourself and pay yourself the petrol money. That'll show her.

How is it wrong of her to ask for fuel for something you have described as being a massive pain for you to do, she's saved you 2 hours a day of driving... send her some fuel ffs 😅

Oh, tell her to stick it - then YOU will be really stuck! she won’t care!
this is bizarre - she has been doing and is still doing you a massive favour and youre cross??

@PrincessLeia21 OP, if after a year of free lifts she had asked you to pay as she can't genuinely afford to be generous anymore, I think you'd be happy to pay. If she asked you to pay into her account, I think you'd be happy to pay - from what you've said. If she then decided to pay some of her money to help her son, that'd be none of your business and you wouldn't care. All she has done is asked you to help her avoid the extra hassle / charges (?) of paying hear, so that she can transfer money to her son, and instead pay into his account directly. Unless I'm missing something, she's done you a huge favour and however you feel, you will never pay her enough to make up for her initial kindness. Your other personal issues, whilst very real and upsetting for you, have zero bearing on the actual situation either her giving lifts. You have two options: appreciate her kindness and say so, or sort out an alternative. Personally I wouldn't have embarrassed myself by coming onto MN to moan about a Good Samaritan.

Oh sorry! Honestly you never know lol

This. If you aren't comfortable, the council should provide transport.

Sorry, somewhat confused. You started the OP by saying your son goes to school "locally", but its 30 minutes drive away. That's quite crucial to your problem.

If your DS could get to/from school any other way, I'd be encoraging him to do so, but it sounds like it will cause you significant inconvenience to do the school run yourself (epecially given your current problems with parents - sorry to hear that). Therefore you're stuck it seems. I'd pay up via whatever method she requests.

Think of it this way - she's helping your son get to school, and you'll be helping hers do the same thing by giving petrol money. Seems fair to me.

If my kids school run was an hour and someone was offering to do it for me I'd do a little dance if they asked me to. It doesn't make a difference if you put the money directly in her son's bank account or you give it to her and then give it to the son. Don't cut of your nose...

To be honest OP who cares which account it goes into.. would it make you feel better if you transferred it to her and she transferred it to him.

Just send her £20 a week for petrol and be done with it... Sounds like shes doing you a huge favour.

It was supposed to be. Not my fault you (and countless others) took it seriously 🤣

Jesus Christ OP, it’s CF-ing people like you who stop people from offering favours.

Your lovely neighbour has saved you both petrol money PLUS two hours per day, five days a week, for 39 weeks of the year, which in waking hours is the best part of a MONTH worth of driving.

This has freed up your time to spend with others, and you are pissy about her taking you up on the offer of petrol money because of which bank account she wants it paying into?? 🤦🏻‍♀️

If I was her I’d be telling you to sort your own lifts and piss off.

The polite thing to do, instead of gifts would have been to INSIST upon paying petrol money. Or say; I know your DC is learning to drive, let me pay for a couple of lessons for them.

The cost of living is crazy nowadays and a teachers salary is bugger all in real terms.

You are the CF here OP and, judging by the poll, the majority are in agreement with this.

This is the funniest thing I’ve read on here for a long time 😂

Get your own child to school then. She’s done you a huge favour for a year, you have no right to get pissy now that she’s accepting something which you originally offered.