Shall I tell her to stick it?

She's been doing you a huge favour for a year. Now she's agreed that some payment would be helpful, which is something you agreed on to begin with and she rejected out of kindness. She wants you to pay the money into a particular account and you take issue with that???

Is it not your child’s local school? All children even if in rural areas are entitled to funded transport to their nearest local school. I used to live in a very rural area and we had a taxi funded for a while and then it was 2 busses.

i can’t believe you’re so enraged when she’s doing you an enormous favour! Madness

Very surprised a teacher would offer lifts like this-seems a bit unprofessional. But apart from that-I don’t see the issue. When the arrangement started she didn’t need the money. She does now. So pay up!

She is being very dodgy running a paid-for (however she tries to disguise or hide it) transport service unless she has the required licenses and insurance. Steer well clear.

I think it's fairly obvious the poster you responded to meant "why do you live in the back of beyond with no way to get your child to school without accepting lifts from a distant teacher neighbour who probably shouldn't be giving lifts to students?"

@PrincessLeia21 it's amazing isn't it that in this day and age you can choose where you live? You decided to live rural and be isolated!

Surely if it's that rural and isolated then your DS gets a free school bus or taxi pick up? Unless it's a private school.

Wow, this last comment of yours - combined with the first part of your user name - explains quite a bit.

A DBS check only confirms that the individual has not been convicted at the time it was done. Not that they were offending and not caught or started offending afterwards. Schools don’t need to update them and older ones won’t be subject to the update service. Yes, they are a good thing but not a guarantee. The second point is that schools should protect themselves from false allegations from students - they really are more common than people think. That teacher had put themselves in a vulnerable position. I’m a safeguarding governor and would have concerns about this arrangement from both student and staff perspective. I’m not sure but would check policies about staff receiving payments from parents - our doesn’t allow it which prevents teachers tutoring students

Given the time and distance involved, and given the lack of alternatives, you should be triply grateful to this teacher (who may or may not be even allowed to give these lifts[.

Can't you see how extremely lucky you are to have this daily service from her?

Don't chase her up for thank-yous, it's rude.

I am truly sorry for your loss, but you need to stay polite and grateful with this woman.

If you don't want to pay just handle it yourself. After all the kid is yours.

Tbh I wouldn't help you out if you were as ungrateful as you sounds.

No, actually she should tell YOU to stick it. You're unbelievably entitled and ungrateful.

Is this a high school or primary school? How old is your child? Are you not in the catchment for the school your child goes to? If you are in the catchment are you sure there is no school bus or anything the school/local authority can offer?

Is the school aware that a teacher is giving a pupil a lift for gifts?

Yes it would be polite for her to say thank you for the gift, but the gift is you saying thank you to her, for saving your time and a fortune as you are not having to so an hours trip twice a day, she is saving you so much money let alone anything else.

She's also giving up her personal time and space to sit in a small vehicle with someone else's child. She could be spending that time, mentally preparing for the day or unwinding after a stressful day. It can be quite an intrusion on physical and personal space not having that personal time to decompress.

Yes it's a bit odd she wants the money to go into her sons account, but it's perfectly reasonable for her to now ask for money.

Also, sorry for your loss and the difficult time with your father. I wouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth, at a time when it is going to be incredibly useful.

Smart teacher. By getting the money paid to her son she is swerving the awkward question that would be asked by her insurers in the case of an accident and you making a claim on her insurance .

“Did you accept payment for the lifts, there by essentially acting as an unlicensed taxi / hire car which would negate your insurance?”

” Goodness no,” tinkly laugh, head tilt , “ the lifts were given in the interests of friendship between rural neighbours.”

It's just common sense on her part to give the money directly to her son.
I'd just pay it and be thankful I had someone helping out.

This sounds so messy.

So the lifts are actually a massive favour because otherwise you would have to do the trip twice a day which would cost you more in petrol and be inconvenient. Just pay the petrol money, she’s probably just thinking it’s more convenient if the money goes directly to her DS rather than to her then she needs to transfer to her DS. I don’t really see what the problem is. You offered money and now she’s accepting your offer, as long as it’s a fair amount she’s charging

None of the terminology strikes me that the writer is in the US.

But it certainly an incredibly weird post...

No teacher in the UK in their right mind would be giving a pupil a lift like that. It's very sad, but that's what our society has come to, but it is what it is, unfortunately.

@PrincessLeia21 In this situation, you are the beggar and you can't be the chooser.

You're not lady of the manor-you are effectively standing outside your house rattling your begging bowl (asking for a lift) as she goes past.

The sooner you realise this, the sooner you will accept your situation, calm down and keep doffing your cap before she tells you to stick it.

Strange comment. Have you never heard of rural hill farming?

If OP isn't getting transport costs it's because there is a school nearer she could send her DS to. My DC go to schools 9 miles away across a county border (also very rural) - we have to pay for transport because there is a secondary school nearer. I cannot believe a teacher would give lifts, nor can i believe OPs DS hasn't kicked off about this if it is true. My kids would rather walk the 9 miles to school then be seen anywhere near a teachers car.

I get the feeling the OP is in the US.

Maybe it's a tax thing? If her son's s not a tax payer and if she's going to give it straight to her son she doesn't want it to appear as her income? (Caveat: presumably this could be illegal but that might be the logic?)

Exactly this! If she accepts money directly from you for petrol, her insurance cover would potentially be invalidated, if she is not already insured for business use, as she's providing a service for reward. Even the gifts you've given her could count as rewards. Any conversation you've had, if it's in writing, could contribute towards a dismissal of responsibility by her insurance company should they find out.

Whilst I'd feel weird paying the money across to her son instead of her, I can see why she's opting for you to do that, regardless of whether she should actually be transporting your son to school or not in the first place.

Hilarious that you are so entitled you actually seem to believe that you are being wronged in some way, princess indeed