Shall I tell her to stick it?

I’d pay for lifts if asked. Not up to you to set how the money is paid and where/to whom. If you need help be grateful if offered.

teachers giving kids lifts is always a no no so the whole thing looks odd.. it was acceptable in the 1980s but no way would the school policies permit this . one on one - no witnesses - favours- bias- grooming- insurance - it breaches the lot!

Loads of rural schools cope without an army of teachers driving in their nearest favourite kid.

Maybe as a one off - did happen- but I was called and asked to specifically email school to authorise a lift between school sites otherwise it would not happen..

I didn’t think teachers could give pupils a lift to school?

Aside from that she is spending 2 hours a day every day in the car with your son? Wow. That’s very kind of her. I would want peace and quiet. What if she needs to work late/ had a meeting? What a bind for her.

Why on earth did you move somewhere where you couldn’t get your son to school? You just sound massively ungrateful..

You should take him yourself. This is your issue.

Your DS has been getting free lifts for a while . As the teacher hasn't thanked you for the gifts , you're annoyed .

Now she'd like payment towards the petrol , is it the case that you wouldn't have minded paying for it into her DS's account , had she acknowledged the gifts ?

Unless it is an unreasonable amount I would just pay it . With all the things going on in your life this one isn't really a problem at all .

It's not difficult, but that's not the point: she is the one doing the favour and asking for recompense how it suits her.
Saying you'll mess her around with cash in the hope that she will just give up on asking isn't nice.

Take all the emotion from it - is it cheaper and more convenient for you to give petrol money to her DS, or start driving yourself?

Are you in England? She shouldn't be giving your child lifts. How old are they? Transport should be provided by the LA if you're more than 2/3 miles away and it's the nearest suitable school so I'm not sure what being rural has to do with anything.

She's doing you a massive favour and you want to tell her to stick it because she needs a bit of cash to help her son? No good deed goes unpunished does it?! Yes, tell her to stick it and get your own child to school every day, I’m sure all the time out of your day and own car costs will be nothing to you compared to her daring to take you up on your offer of paying your way.

Perhaps just let her know your not comfortable paying into her sons account and ask for her bank details.

She can then transfer it herself if required.

Sounds like she's being very generous, but I can also understand why your not comfortable paying it into her sons account.

You should have insisted on paying in the first place, I car-shared with a colleague for a long time and paid for half the petrol from the start even though they also did the polite thing of pretending it was okay to not. I'm shocked that you didn't read that cue and you're not paying.

Unless this teacher is a next door neighbour they are making the effort to pick up and drop off your child at your own home every day.

A present and then nagging for a thank you is completely inexcusable. You should have been paying properly all along.

Yes. If she wants petrol money & OP asks for her account numbers sending her sons who's "just got his own car" & doesn't actually do her the favour is a bit of a joke - how hard is it to forward him on the money herself as his mum ?

The point is that it hasn't been paid for.
And, whilst there are or might be repercussions, she is being nice rather dodgy.

Too much hassle to give OP's son a lift?

By the sounds of it OP if you “tell her to stick it” you have absolutely no way of getting your kid to school. Quite how you’ve got yourself in to that mess in the first place is beyond me. But in any case she has been very generous to you thus far and you don’t really have any other option. She’s done you a massive favour and so yes maybe you are contributing to her DS car but she’s dug you out of a massive hole so it’s probably the least you could do.

So you make life even more difficult for the person doing the favour. Nice.

OP YABU. She’s doing you a huge favour, yes she’s going that way but what she is effectively doing is freeing you of ALL school runs. That is insane! She’s said no to fuel in the past but now is presumably having to put fuel in her son’s car too, so her costs have gone up. What difference to you if your contribution goes to her or her son? You still get the benefit of not working out how to get your child to this very rural, no bus route school. How much is she asking for?

She asked for fuel money and you agreed. It shouldn't matter what bank account she wants it to go to unless it's to fund terrorism, which in your scenario is unlikely.

In answer to your question-Yes, tell her to stick it. I'm sure she'll be very grateful.

Just be 'honest' so to speak "I'm not comfortable sending money to your son's bank account, I'll get cash out" she may decide it's too much hassle

I find this very hard to believe (being careful with my wording here!) Teachers in the Uk are absolutely not allowed to give students lifts except in exceptional circumstances and with the express written permission of the school. It’s something they could easily lose their job over. So I find this scenario extremely unlikely

Private car insurance insurance covers giving lifts to friends. Private car insurance usually does not cover running a cab service (phone your own insurance company to check this). If there's any doubt about insurance cover, stop using her car.

She pays for your son to get to school and you’re now paying for her son to get to school. Seems like a fair swap…

Is she giving you her DS’s bank details because she’s doing something wrong by offering lifts and receiving payment? Are you going to get dragged into something you don’t want to get dragged into? Is she insured to drive him? Does the headteacher know?

Is there any other way of getting him to school?

Sorry OP, but I think YABU. You were perfectly happy with the prospect of paying this teacher for her chauffeuring services a year ago, but she declined so you started buying her gifts instead (so this plainly isn't a money issue).
Everything's getting more expensive for everybody so now she's asking you for a monetary fuel contribution and it really doesn't matter if you're paying it into her DS' account - that's simply what she's asked you to do. Would you have minded if she'd given you her DH/DP's bank details? You're clearly making a connection with her DS driving himself to school and you paying the money to his account, and thinking you are subsidising her son's fuel, but you might still have been doing that even if she gave you her own bank details. And again, so what? This is a quid pro quo - she's helping you a great deal by getting your son to school when you readily admit it would be a PITA to get him there yourself, and having done this FOC for a year, you're now complaining about her belatedly taking you up on the offer of some petrol money. Honestly OP, unless you have an alternative for your DS's school travel, I'd just transfer the money and be grateful (and stop buying her gifts).

Why didnt you arrange school transport? If you live over a certain distance away, then the council will arrange a taxi or bus for you.