Shall I tell her to stick it?

Can't believe how rude you are OP. Get your own child to school and stop complaining

Wow, just wow. I’m amazed the school is allowing this? It sounds like a huge safeguarding no-no to me. (I work in a school). Are they alone in the car ? I’m not suggesting anything untoward will happen but she is leaving herself vulnerable here. It would be a no from me if I were the teacher in this situation.
As it stands, it sounds like she is doing you a huge favour as you have mentioned being in the middle of nowhere with few options.

I hope she reads this thread, recognises herself and tells you to ‘stick it’.

She’s probably done this as she’s probably not allowed to charge you so paying her ds she’s covering her back.

It seems a lot here think her giving your child a lift isn’t allowed and she could get into trouble, maybe she knows this so has given you bank details that won’t lead back to her.

Not their problem

You chose to live there. What did you do before?

For every possible safeguarding rule this is an absolute no-no.

As a teacher I can tell you it is a massive safeguarding issue unless the school knows and she has business insurance. If she does then she absolutely can’t be asking for money though.

It’s manners to pay your way. It doesn’t matter which account the money goes into, you need ti pay it or stop accepting the lifts.

Work out how much a taxi would cost and thank your lucky stars.

I have the sneaky suspicion that the OP won't be coming back...

I think you're lucky you got lifts for a year for free teacher is putting themselves in a vulnerable position alone in a car with a student

Pay and be grateful particularly as you’ve said you very much need the help.

I lived in a rural location for 10years and don’t remember a teacher ever giving a child a lift to school.

The teacher is being honest with you when they say they would like to take u up on your offer to part finance your child’s transportation. It’s none of your business what they want /need extra cash for.

People post on Mumsnet for opinions, support and advice. I think you are a bit sharp with your replies.

No not at our school they aren’t

😄

Because of the issue of getting ds to and from school. I don’t know how old he is (might have been mentioned) but having an accessible route to school, come what may, is always a good idea.

It’s the OP who is coming across as the money-grabber here. After free lifts all this time, the teacher asking for a contribution to fuel costs “Feels like a shakedown”. Unbelievable. See if you can find another sucker to ferry your child to and from school at their own expense then.

I suspect the only thing the OP is 'uncomfortable' with is paying a contribution into any account, nothing to do with whose name it's in.

Maybe it’s to avoid getting into trouble at work? She’s getting you to pay it to her son so if someone complains, you’re not paying her. She’s doing you a massive favour so id help her out by paying this route

Definitely tell her to stick it…..

I would pay petrol and I think most people would, she doesn't HAVE to do this.

Also not that unusual, when my son first started school a few different teachers, TAS and even the Head once got my son to school as he couldn't attend otherwise, some folks just like to help.

I’m gobsmacked by this. Shes doing you a huge favour. I can’t believe the timings work cos teachers normally have to be in very early and leave later than pupils but if it’s working and shes accommodating your kid - for free for a year - then you should be kissing her boots not moaning about her!

jesus Wept

She’s putting herself in a very compromising position doing what she’s doing. It wouldn’t be allowed at any of the schools I worked at.

If you feel uncomfortable paying it into her son’s account, just tell her that and give her cash or transfer into her account.

Someone is doing you a massive favour and has been for a long time, they decide to take you up on your offer of payment and ask you to make payments in a way which does not hurt you at all, and you want to flounce off? To be honest, it sounds more like you are the one taking the piss. What difference does it make to you? If you paid her in cash she could give it straight to her son, if you paid it into her account she could have an automatic transfer to her son.

You say this makes you "uncomfortable". How much more uncomfortable would you feel having to make different arrangements for your son?

You aren’t just being unreasonable. You’ve gone to full on Cheeky Fucker stage.

we live in an isolated and remote place. There are no school buses or public transport and the school run is an hour’s round trip twice a day. The afternoon pickup requires leaving home at 2.30 making it impossible to commit to any big work trips or projects or get to and from my Dad’s house in time. It’s a tricky situation You’ve chosen to raise a family in the middle of nowhere. If you can’t home school and there are no other schools nearby, then you need to either move house or pay for transportation. You’ve had a year free. It’s bloody outrageous that you’re quibbling it for a single second. And the nerve of thinking that you’re subsidising anything! I can only think that this is a combination of grief and stress and this isn’t normal behaviour for you.

I am grateful for the lifts Really? It’s not coming across. the paying it into her son’s bank account has just made me feel uncomfortable Why? It’s nothing to do with you what she does with her money. It would be none of your business if she made confetti out of the money and chucked it out the window as she drove along. It makes perfect sense to me. She’s agreed to help her DS out. You’ve got to pay it into an account. You’ll have a record of all transactions to prove you’ve paid it. So what does it matter if you pay it into his account rather than hers? It saves her a job setting up a DD to his account. She doesn’t have to worry about it, her DS gets the money she’s promised him and it causes you no extra work.

If I were you, I’d be hoping she hasn’t picked up on any of this, because in her shoes, I’d be making an excuse that the head teacher had found out and was putting a stop to it.

Do you say thank you to her every single time she gives your son a lift?

You are being totally unreasonble and ungrateful.

How would your son get to school if he did not get a lift?

What difference does it make if you pay her or her son? It saves her giving her son the money if you do it directly to him as he obviously needs it. You are nto subsidising her son.

I can't belive you are so ungrateful.

You’re so lucky that she’s offering you this! I wouldn’t bite the hand that feeds me. As a teacher, I love my quiet commute and wouldn’t give a free lift.