Grandfather behaviour to granddaughter

Trust your gut and protect your daughter

Big red flags.

a non abusive grandfather may happily have his granddaughter sit on his knee to read a book or have a hug at age 6. I don’t agree with a pp that no grandfather would at all do that, plenty do and plenty of kids would happily climb on their grandfather’s lap if they have a comfortable, happy relationship. But you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable about it. It wouldn’t being ringing alarm bells. And I agree with the pp in that the lap sitting would be brief and the grandfather would have no desire to keep them sitting there any longer than the child desired.

the feet rubbing - how did he get hold of her feet?

Regardless, no. Very big red flag is the difference in treatment/disinterest in the other children. Would you have any concerns about his behaviour if it was just the way he is with the other two?

Keep her away. Abuse can happen even in sight of parents. It can be quick, in-passing, in front of parents without them even realising. I hate to bring it up but Jimmy Saville groped girls on live tv in front of a whole nation and got away with it.

your gut isn’t wrong. And your husband feels it too so trust your intuition.

Our instincts are there for a reason

Of course you should be concerned

Definitely be concerned. I'd stop the lap sitting and other physical contact - she can sit on the lap of your husband or you only when around him. No overnights there unless she sleeps in a room with you, and never left alone with him. Is there any possibility anything beyond rhat could have happneed already- ie has she been alone with him before, even just in another room? Assuming not, I'd do the no physical contact and no alone time and go from there. If there's any chance more may have happened I'd seek advice before saying anything to her, and definitely don't see him again until you have more answers.

This is not normal for a six year old. You need to say: Dad leave her off she likes to play. It's OK to have a quick hug when she arrives and leaves but that's it. My dh is a grandad and no way would he want gd sitting on his lap..he is happy to play a game with her but wanting her on his lap is not OK.. you are right to feel uncomfortable and you must listen to your gut.

'ive never liked him hugging me although I can't say exactly why, I just don't like it

Sorry to ask but could there be some kind of repressed memories here?