To feel scared about having kids, especially boys, after watching Adolescence on Netflix?

Yup, girls have their own struggles and both sexes going through adolescence end up feeling like shit. I don't understand this focus on boys, unless all your children are boys.

I asked my 22yr old son who is autistic and generally socially isolated. The ideal target for groomers and extremism.

I showed him the emojis and he said (and I quote) “what is this shit”?
I explained and he said no he’d never seen emojis in this way. He also added that Andrew Tait was “a dickhead” and that his followers were “losers.”

I was quite proud. 😁

Talk to your boys, they may surprise you.

it’s not inevitable that they will become extremists.

That's not a reason to avoid sports clubs and other clubs, but I agree it is a reason to vet them.

I pulled my son out of scouts the moment I realised the leader was a misogynistic bully

He does climbing now. The instructors and staff at the centre are a mix of male and female and I chat to them each week and they are exactly the kind of people I want my son to spend time with

I have a son and a daughter, both teens. He spews similar andrew tate crap. Daughter has learnt to tolerate it (yes I shut it down)

That's happening everywhere. Young boys acting out horribly or just making comments as jokes that would get them punished 20 years ago. The girls are taught to tolerate it. You should be worried in my opinion

@Goldenbear upskirting is another big issue in schools. Need to focus more on the perpetrators not the length of skirts.

I think that incidents such as the young man in Luton, the fact that the government and looking at changing the law for non-terror related incidents, the incredible mass shooting statistics in the US, show that male violence and incel situations are a growing problem. No one is saying this is rife, but it’s an area of concern and dramas such as this draw attention and discussion.

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast so why are schools having so many problems with attitudes towards girls (and female staff)?

And for parents saying my son wouldn’t do this, keep them busy, mine go to clubs so not spending time on the internet, not roaming the streets, what amazing parents we are. Our local Secondary school is working with some of the local clubs, especially sports ones, as they have identified some of the misogynist attitudes are being fuelled by these clubs. One particular club is very popular with the youth in the town, starting from a young age. At least a third of DC’s peers attended, so a large number of boys can be influenced.

By age 11 27% of children have seen porn. You might have strict parental controls on their phones, but their mate or their mate’s elder brother might not. And the porn they can view can also breed some horrendous attitudes.

I have to admit, my first thought upon watching the programme was 'what the hell was he doing out at that time of night at 13?' What parent allows that?
I had to be in bed by 8.30 on school nights and 10pm at weekends!

Again, you must be living in a bubble.
It is common.

Interesting, at my DS's school, a couple of years ago (he's not there now) the school introduced strict skirt length policy, some teachers were trying to measure skirts, some boys as in a large majority would circle around a girl to stop a teacher getting to the girl to measure the skirt as they thought it was wrong to be so sexist, it was even covered in the local press. I think nationally were we live is particularly known to be 'progressive' so maybe bucks the trend but I don't think we should oversimplify the arguments.

It's pretty basic parenting though really.
Don't let your kids stay out late, know who their friends are, don't let them have unrestricted access to the Internet, etc

They aren't born teenagers. You put the work in from the start.

Haven’t watched it and won’t watch it. Why do people watch these things and increase their stress and anxiety?

There’s plenty of boys stabbing other boys though, isn’t there?

Completely agree.

Teen DD is disgusted by the conversations and comments of most of the boys in her year. This is a fairly tame secondary in a quiet area.

I'm sure most of their parents are totally unaware of what their boys are becoming. To the detriment of girls right now and women later.

There's only a small window to stop this and so so many are missing it.

I think the programme showed examples of poor parenting which are easily avoidable. Don't let your 13 year olds have unfiltered access to the internet 24 hours a day and don't let them wander the streets till gone 10.00.

I don't understand how the parents in the programme thought their son was safe when he was in his room on his own watching god knows what. Maybe this would ring true 10 years ago but not now when the dangers of the internet are well known.

My kids who are young adults now were made to leave their phones downstairs when they went to bed. Some of their friends were on their phones half the night. Set boundaries and your kids, like most kids will be fine.

In fact, my son at 13 was punched in the face by a boy as he tried to stop him bullying this child in the changing room at school, the bulky was trying to shower the boys backpack, my son tried to stop him. He was definitely a victim.

Do you have children or boys? I do and see it very much as my duty to protect both of my DC - a bit and a girl, I've had to bring them up and guide them as that is the responsibility of a parent. An absence of that is what leads to complete anarchy!

Wtf. Boys can also be victims of violence. I have a boy and a girl. I am aware every day how vulnerable my daughter is. But it would be astonishingly naive to not realise my son could be a victim too , so I worry about him as well as trying to raise him to treat women well

We?

We, are doing nothing.

I think it's incumbent upon men to not be arses.

And if we're talking about the 'manosphere', women can't actually influence that, because the whole thing is how terrible women are.

So, there's a small window of opportunity to influence your sons, if they may vulnerable to such shite.

I enjoyed the programme and found it thought provoking but don’t relate to the hysteria from some people about it. Our school is absolutely nothing like the one that was portrayed, nor is my son. My 15 year old is not out until 10pm wandering the streets (he wouldn’t be allowed to do that at any time), we have strict tech rules including no social media, no phones in bedrooms. He attends a structured activity 2 times a week that often has stuff on weekends that takes up a lot of his time and gives him purpose and confidence. I know the parents of his friends.

I do think what was portrayed is avoidable with engaged parenting, I think what the portrayed was what can happen in 2025 with the way the world is now (especially tech) if you try to parent like we did in the 80s and 90s.

Says it all, really. Open your eyes.

Really?

I don't think it's that common in 2025.

Extremely rare incidents. No need to make it into a true documentary on society in your head. In that case we could talk about all nurses wanting to kill our children inspired by Lucy Letby. Makes No sense.

I think some of the comments here reflect part of the problem.

As a society we are letting down our young boys. We don't seem to see there is a need to protect them just as much as girls. Boys are vulnerable to toxic online debate, low self esteem, etc. We can protect girls by looking at the reasons why boys are turning towards this toxicity.

You are very naive if you really think boys aren't victims too