Expecting to babysit at the weekend

Fuck that shit.

You won’t change this time, but a moan now might stop it becoming regular and that’s probably a very good thing.

Let your wife go on her own, she'll get fed up more quickly without your support
They need to work different shifts so they can look after their own child, this isn't a sustainable plan

Well apart from the fact the OP said right at the start it would be twice a month, I think it IS a big ask when you only have 4 days a month together.

Granted, if you spend all your full weekends together, it feels like nothing. One day vs 8. Sounds quite doable right?
But 1 day, let alone 2 days out of 4 days …. Thats half of all the time they have together each month…

So yes that’s a lot.
And even more so when the decision is unilateral and you don’t involve your partner in a decision that involves them…

OP, I would be taking a hard honest look at your relationship with your wife.
So dismissive of your relationship to commit to do this.
Not a relationship to be thinking of having children in.

Is she a people pleaser?
One of those people that pleases everyone except the person they are in a relationship with?

If so, they make really shit long term partners.

Yes people want the perfect village and it takes a family to raise children and it is good when children get to bond with other family and lots of other gem's which is always said when people want free childcare not as much when they have to help themsleves, excecpt for the 'well I would quit my FT job if my husbands second cousins step great grandchild needed me too'

This commitment is way too much . For a start it’s one hour drive there and back . It’s also in someone else’s house and that is a major difference there . The child will be crawling and walking soon and no doubt the sister is going to be giving you a list of what and not to do . Your wife has no idea about the reality of this yet . It will become a burden . Let her go and she will soon find out herself . The sister won’t even drop the child at yours , as your wife said “well , they won’t do that” meaning they don’t want that burden but happy for you to do it . They are cheeky fs. A once off is different.

OP, stick to your guns. Maybe go along once to see what it's actually like, you don't know, you might enjoy it. Can't see how tbh, lol. But going forward, you are absolutely right in thinking this shouldn't be part of your w/e plans going forward. It's too much commitment and it's not convenient, especially as you'd have to stay there, wtaf.
All it should be at most is the odd evening babysitting for a couple of hours and when they are older, maybe the odd over night. I wouldn't get into any regular agreement especially as you're both working.

In laws want free childcare, are an hour away, and work shift work.

You would like to spend a weekend day with your wife.

Their shift work and childcare should not be you and your wife's responsibility. I'd be upset if my spouse prioritized inlaws childcare over spending the little free time we had with me. If it became a weekly thing, I'd be rethinking the marriage of my spouse would rather be used by their cheap ass relatives rather than spend time with me.

Yep .

This.

People need to consider childcare when choosing to have a child.

One parent at least needs to change jobs/reduce hours to cover a weekend if they don't want to pay someone.

Take a step back and make this entirely your Daw choice.

Sod that. It will be every weekend you watch. As for babies always sleeping- not at 8 months they don't!!

Your in laws are CF wanting free childcare.
Don't go.
By going you are sending the message it is ok.
Tell your wife to go herself but you are not happy about it.
Their child is not your responsibility.
An emergency is complete different.
I would make arrangements to do something for the day.
No way would I go nor give the impression it was ok.

Oh and your wife is not pleasing everyone.
She has ditched her husband to be free childcare for her sister.
Don't accept her bullshit reasoning to gaslight you that she is doing anything other than getting involved in being her sisters free childcare every other week.
She's a mug.

Right, well one of them needs to get another job that doesn't involve weekend working, it really is as simple as that.

Definitely reframe this as ‘providing childcare’ and not babysitting.

The two are very different.

babysitting - I’d be happy to do.
childcare - I’d have to really think about committing to this - and probably would not want to agree to a regular schedule,

So they have no childcare costs at all

yes then they need to pay for care at weekends if you /wide can’t /don’t do it

I get childcare is costly and many do work at a loss but keep going for career

as they have no costs at all they need think about costs going forward when wife can’t care

What jobs do the parents have, out of interest? Do they do weekend shift work because they're both saving lives, or because they work in retail?

The reason I ask is that if they're both doctors or nurses or police officers then I agree that they're in a difficult situation. But if they're working in a shop or something similar, the answer is that one of them needs to get a different job.

The thing is, it transpires that they aren't getting paid childcare during the week either. They're just sponging off family the whole time.

Ah ok then if you and your wife do help out be really clear about what you are prepared to do. Two Sundays a month is quite a lot and an 8 month old is hard work. I do childcare for my brother but on days that suit me and he knows that there will be some weeks that I can't do. It works well because we set down boundaries.

I think the comments about 'they need to just get paid childcare' are a bit strange. Normal paid childcare is not available at the weekends. Any other option eg weekend nanny or similar would be an astronomical cost and not in reach of most normal workers. That does not mean that OP should take care of the child or feel guilty but it isn't easy or even possible to find childcare that fit the working hours of some jobs
So parents need to find another solution eg adjust their hours so one of them is off on Sundays or find paid childcare during week and see if grandparents can help at weekend instead.
It just annoys me when people airily say 'find paid childcare' on a Sunday as if it was that easy...

They sound like horrific over entitled idiots tbh.

So basically they have not sorted out any childcare for their child and are relying entirely on family to do unpaid labour for them?

Fairly crucial information to drip in at this stage.