Can no longer be arsed with this person…

It's not a 'known' joke to me either. I wouldn't find it particularly funny, maybe coming from someone you are close to but from an acquaintance it would feel a bit odd and patronising.
But running away crying suggests she was pretty on the edge anyway.
Have you any idea what is going on in her life? As that kind of reaction either implies someone who is batshit, or more likely someone who is under huge stress elsewhere in their life and is likely to breakdown at the smallest thing, have you never been so on the edge that even dropping your pen feels like a crisis?

It’s a crap quip and if I don’t find it funny I’m certainly not going to laugh to make the other person feel better. So the atmosphere would probably be a bit awkward. I wouldn’t cry though!

I would have taken it as silly chit chat…maybe not laugh out loud funny but I would
know you meant it in the spirit of humor. I have 3 of these people in my workplace…from zero to 3 in 6 short months. I only say Goodmorning. I don’t touch anything remotely near them or even walk behind their desk area because that is immediate trigger
for them. Everything is open to comment by them and any response by me is potentially upsetting to them. It has really changed the work environment for me. The tears are water based manipulation just like jumping out of your chair if someone has the audacity to walk in the public space behind your seat. It’s all manipulation of the work environment and others working in it. Grey rock her when you can and hopefully that’s most of the time

I’ve tried that and nothing works with her. I stopped asking her any questions about how she is/how her week’s been because every week is the worst week of her life. She has a bad habit of tapping your arm when your eyes wander and she’s not getting enough attention. She used to complain about her husband never listening to her before they broke up.

Sorry, I’m not trying to hijack the OPs post. I just think the only way to deal with certain people is to avoid them as they’ll never change.

That’s not a joke it’s a dig.

I don't take offence at anything, and have lots of banter at work etc.. BUT, I don't find your joke funny to be honest.. I find it patronising and belittling.

I know you think it was funny, but you were basically making a joke about her struggling, while insinuating that she had the weakness and incompetence of a child.. Is she young/small because that would seal the deal of being completely inappropriate to compare her to a child.

I think it was the word adult that ruined it, it is nothing but patronising.. if you had said would you like a 'grown up' to help you, it would have landed as a joke a little bit better, but I think the whole joke was dodgy territory.

‘I’ve spoken to others…’

this is what makes you the asshole in the situation. You have no idea what she is going through or what problems she has. And you are gossiping to others about her…not cool.

Brilliant.

How many posts do we see about negging and disguising as a joke?

A woman covered my maternity leave who was like this, I kept getting texts from colleagues! Then when I went back, we had a 1 month overlap on her maternity cover contract, and my god I don’t know how they put up with her for a year. She sit crying because she’d fallen out with her wife (again!), would be very offended at everything and she ate all the fucking biscuits too. The manager couldn’t do anything about it though as it’s very tricky ground.

BTW OP if you said that to me I’d laugh, I thought it was funny. But then I have a sense of humour and some people really don’t! I can’t bear people who can’t laugh at themselves

This! You seem rather full of yourself OP

Why did you say that if you knew she is touchy? I wouldn't find it particularly funny if you said it to me.

Oh my god, it’s not funny, it’s patronising … it’s a joke! Even if you don’t find it funny as humour is subjective it’s far from offensive, people need to lighten up

That’s not really how that comes across, it sounds more like a condescending way of calling someone incompetent and you laughing too. I’d be livid if someone said that to me. I wouldn’t cry about it but I’d think they were a dick

If I see someone struggling to open a door I always say "ah, Midvale School for the gifted".
Even when it's me struggling with a door.

Occasionally someone gets it and we share a chuckle.

I agree with this. Making a joke at someone else's expense (however weak the joke) is not something you do with someone you clearly dislike.

To say something demeaning "as a joke" to someone you disapprove of just seems like bullying. Her over-reaction suggests she might see it this way too.

She might well be a tiresome drama llama in the workplace but you either knew rightly it wouldn't land well because of this or you are not very good at reading the room. Someone earlier wondered about your own social awkwardness. Either way, a miscommunication or not, the easiest way to nip it in the bud is to offer a light apology followed by a wide berth.

Horrible attitude. You say the comment was obviously patronising and said it anyway. Your intention was mean and now you're complaining she's upset?

Her reaction is OTT but the ‘joke’ isn’t funny? The fact you keep having to explain it to people on here highlights that. While you meant it lightheartedly, it’s not quite come across that way.

For what it’s worth, I am not easily offended and love banter with colleagues but unless you were particularly close to this colleague - which it appears not, it comes across a bit passive aggressive.

Yeah she’s over the top crying & running away but if someone said that to me I would find it incredibly condescending and smug.

I worked with someone like this and found her constant need for attention absolutely draining. Sadly, people like your colleague seem to take offence at just about everything as it suits their agenda to do so and feeds their need for drama. I don't think your comment was offensive at all....just workplace banter that most people can accept without histrionics.

I worked with one of those. She reported my colleague for saying good morning how are you every day. Apparently because he was big (built like a brick shit house) and very tall she found it intimidating!!!! She said he was trying to pry into her mental health.

so we all stopped asking her how she was- guess what happened next? I bet you don’t need 3 guesses

TBH if she's not a direct colleague, I'd just ignore her! Not everyone gets along, nor should they. We are humans, not robots. But if you don't have to interact with her at all, then don't. You can be polite & professional if you need to be. She's not being very professional by crying & throwing tanties. Management should be managing that.

I think you were inappropriate and should apologise.

Um, I don't think your "joke" is socially acceptable I'm afraid.

I'd probably give you a 🤨 look if you said it to me, but I could imagine if someone was already feeling insecure then it could be taken badly.

If I were you I’d apologise and watch what I say to her in future because she has obviously taken your joke literally.

You already knew what she was like though.

Nope she will then complain that people are ostracising her.