Can no longer be arsed with this person…

Totally agree with this.

I do think your “joke” was patronising and cringe. It’s the sort of joke I would expect most people to have stopped in about 1976. But this in no way justifies running off in tears, complete overreaction.

I would make a mental note that:

a) Your idea of humour isn’t everyone’s and it’s worth second guessing yourself before you make “jokes”
b) This woman is fragile and incredibly sensitive and it certainly isn’t worth it with her.

I've never heard this joke, but I can imagine it would go down pretty well with my colleagues. This is very much our sort of silly humour.

She does sound hard work.

But your comment was way off base. Patronising, not funny and could be seen as bullying. Especially as you know what she is like - you knew she wouldn't laugh along with you. you need to be so careful in the workplace nowadays and jokes, especially ones aimed directly at people, are best avoided.

I'm not saying it's right, i've worked for over 30 years and things have changed so much - but it is the way things are now and you're opening yourself up to allegations of bullying etc.

I don't find it funny either. I think it's an odd thing to say and could come across as sarcastic rather than jokey. Having said that, its certainly not something to cry over.

If I were you, I'd apologize for the sake of peace and make that your last non-work related interaction with her.

"Maybe you'd like an adult to help you with that ?"
Is actually a good name for an unwritten Edinburgh Comedy show. Could contain literally any material.

But you have just taken offence because people have said that your joke was patronising and not funny.

If you don't work in a school or similar then your joke is unfunny and patronising.She however needs to get a grip with the running off and crying about it.You are both Unreasonable.

You clearly come from the condescending/insulting side of comedy, and when you recognise someone has a need (like being emotionally sensitive) don’t feel you need to give a s**t. That’s your choice.
This lady recognised a potential over-reaction and did the mature thing of apologising, but you don’t feel the need to step up too. That’s your choice.
You are now complaining about anyone who doesn’t agree with you here, being as sensitive to disagreement as the lady was to condescension. That’s after you having gone around seeking validation from colleagues.
It sounds like your workplace is a bit toxic and your colleague is finding it difficult to tolerate. Maybe you’d like an adult to help you understand this 😉
(the winky face denotes a joke, so you have to laugh and if you don’t you are over emotional with no sense of humour)

I think what you said was funny! She sounds like she has issues.

I’ve never heard that joke before in my life but ordinarily If I knew you well I would probably laugh and jokingly retort ‘piss off! 🤣’ but if I’d had a bad day/week, I’d find it inappropriate and use a much sterner tone.

I don’t think it’s just her with the problem here, OP. She might well be a drama llama but, from your post, you seem to be a bit socially awkward and lack self awareness. You take no responsibility for upsetting someone else, and you have even shown contempt on this thread to a poster daring to point out you were wrong - with your ‘Fuck sake 🙄’ reply.

How well do you know this woman? If you know her well and she is a bit sensitive usually, then you should know not to make that joke to her. Equally, if you don’t know her very well or what she has been through that day/week, you shouldn’t really make such a joke which could be taken badly. It’s about knowing your audience. If the person you make the joke to is your best mate and you have a similar humour, then fine. Otherwise you have to take some responsibility and apologise.

Unprofessional

Yeah your comment would have irked me (depending on the time of day) but I would have shot back with: "Yes, do you know where I can find one love?"
You can't win with this type of person and I would be at pains to avoid.

OP, it’s hard to hear but sometimes responses like this can make you realise how you could come across to other people. Your description of yourself in your OP might not be quite how you are to other people.

I say this because I’ve had comments in the past where I’ve realised I’m coming across differently to what I mean.

@CouchSpud I would have laughed if you’d said that to me however I grew up with 5 siblings and being teased was a daily occurrence.

I would be interested to know the general age group of the pp’s who find the remark offensive or not funny.

I was raised in the 60’s and 70’s with Benny Hill and Carry On films. There was a lot of sexism and I’m pleased that’s stopped.
I think the humour was more sarcastic though and perhaps that’s what many younger pp’s can’t handle. British sarcasm is brilliant imo.

At first I was with you, but your responses show that you do in fact always think you’re right and clearly aren’t as laid back as you’re telling us.

I also wouldn’t find the joke funny. I would probably laugh along, knowing it was intended as a joke, but in my head I’d be thinking it was a twattish thing to say and just not funny or witty.

But obviously our opinions don’t matter to you, YOU find it funny and therefore it must be funny and we must be too serious to get it, yeah?

If that’s your attitude, I wonder if she’s just fed up of working with people who take the piss and have no awareness that it’s too much and she doesn’t like it.

The banterish joke is, would you like a grown up to help you with that? To which the response is, yes, do you know any.

It's a subtle difference but I do think there is one.

Your version didn't sound like banter and I'm willing to bet the tone you used didn't either.

If you were not being intentionally unpleasant towards her, your opening post made a good job of sounding as if you were.

Not everyone likes "banter". I wouldn't like that joke but wouldn't go crying. She is obviously going through something. Just apologise and avoid her going forward.

I agree with this completely.

If she’s that emotional and is offended you haven’t apologised, I doubt professional and brief is going to work without triggering more drama tbh.

Is it really such a big deal? You don’t need to grovel, just say “ah, sorry, I had not realised it was a bad week for you.”

Then skip the jokes with her going forward to spare yourself a repeat.

Agreed. As everyone struggles with said door the “joke” isn’t even funny. You were just being rude.
We have rude people at work and also over sensitive types. I ignore both although the professionally upset are more grating.

She ran off down the corridor crying?

Well that sounds made up or (hopefully) hyperbole. If she literally ran off crying - presumably in a public space in what sounds like it might be school - I would have serious concerns about her wellbeing.

You seem to have retold the story and found it's not unusal behaviour. (Though I'm surmising seeing you've also posted it on MN, that wasn't done out of concern) Has anyone senior address that?

As for the "well known joke" it'd depend on who said it. If it was the patronising usually unpleasant person from work, it would be less well received than if it was the standard colleague.