When did no surnames become a thing?

What a very silly post.

Yep, children only get kidnapped or assaulted by people who know their surnames.
And not by family members they already know.

I sometimes watch some early Crimewatch on YT and I'm always a bit 😮 at how much they used to reveal about their witnesses. And often getting them to play themselves too in reconstructions, just to make them super easily identifiable.

DH has a public role locally, our kids can never be in the local newspaper, school or activity social media, websites or even newsletters. I can't be recognisable as his wife on social media.

We have received threats and abuse.

His role is a) not that important and b) not terribly contentious, but there are total nobends out there who don't give a shit.

So no, putting our kids surnames would be a huge no no.

But it's not about the majority, it's about protecting the minority. 29 kids in the class would be a absolutely fine with their surname published. 1 childs mother works in the police and has had threats against her and her families life. Or, that one childs mother has fled a domestic violence situation with a dangerous and obsessive ex who has thrratened to kidnap the child.
Are you saying your need to have your kids full name in the school play program should be more important than keeping that one child safe?

to the detriment of our kids who remain infantilised

Infantilise children? So you mean treat children as though they are … children? Okaaaay.

There's no detriment to a child whose name doesn’t appear in a school play programme. They are standing up among their peers and community – it’s known who they are. It is normal to them just as using surnames was normal to you.

Times move on.

People take pictures and post them. It’s to protect childrens privacy. Some people don’t want to publicise their kid’s whereabouts

My teens friends all have private accounts. Like MillyPrivatexx etc as account names.

Not many kids leave thdir profiles for all to see.

As an adult with an unusual surname, I understand this. I am not at risk but don't particularly want to be contacted by some of the people sho worked with my late husband. No reason, I just never liked them.

Does anyone remember how they'd introduce the children on things like Fun House? "This is Mabel Clark, she's 12 and her brother Peter Clark who's 13 and they both go to St John's Secondary School in Pontypridd".

So weird to think that no one even considered this might be problematic.

My daughter's school newsletter is hilarious. They do first names only but they'll also print photos of the children but with the school logo over the faces so you can't see the photo. I understand why but it does make me wonder why bothering printing the photo.

I think they use first name and initial at my child’s school.

John S
Mary W

My child and his class (year 5) had to be kept in their room and the police called because a mother had found out her son was attending that school. He was in care.

They took the child out under pretence of doing reading practice until the police had taken his mum away.

I must admit I took it more seriously after that.

🤔I'm surprised you need it spelling out what safeguarding risks are of releasing a child's surname to the public. Alongside a location where they will be ect

I fled dv 8 years ago. Court ordered not to contact me or the children. He still doesn't know where we are, not for lack of trying. I'd have to change their schools and move area if their school made them public like that

Happened to me and my year group. We did our GCSE’s in 2010. I felt sorry for the kids who only got 1 or 2 and had it plastered all over the local newspapers.

But people have come on here with their own personal experiences of why it's important and your still saying you think safeguarding isn't justified..
The schools that put full names are probably in a lucky and unfortunately rare situation of having a school full of safe children.
My son can't have his last name, nor his photo published anywhere other than letters to us because he is adopted and we cannot risk birth family tracing us.
I would never think not using a surname is infantalising. How often at work are you called by your full fordt and second name at the same time?

I guess more broadly my slight annoyance is that whilst safeguarding issues deserve respect I sometimes feel that we are over cautious to the detriment of our kids who remain infantilised, and perhaps this is one tiny and trivial example.

Eh? How is a child going to be infantilised by not having their surname in the programme of a school play? I can't follow your logic at all.

Ours puts name and class, and initial of surname if there's multiple with the same name. Don't see any need for surnames.

I used to be a probation officer, someone I used to manage, have recalled to prison, have given reports to social care about which informed legal decisions for him to not have even unsupervised contact with his own children, who has threatened me, to burn my house down, to kill me and my children in very descriptive ways (I didn't have any then), who tried to follow me home from the office etc, his children are now at the top end of the junior school where my child is in infant Y1. I know he's not allowed contact with them (legally) but his family are, I have an uncommon surname for this area and I wouldn't want him putting two and two together and coming looking for me or my child.

I first saw it when oldest started secondary in 2019 - they only ever give first name and surname initial in newsletters etc. Seems a fair enough precaution for safeguarding for various reasons.

It depends on the child's circumstances. My child's father doesn't know things about my child for safeguarding reasons and I'm very cautious about what information goes out relating to him, especially since names are so easily traceable online now. Consider yourself lucky this is something only occurring to you now. To me this shows that the school has solid safeguarding awareness and takes the privacy of their pupils seriously in an inclusive way.

You could just choose another surname?

But surely this is privacy as well as safeguarding? These children are individuals that are too young to consent, but when they’re 30 they might not want people to be able to find their name on the internet attached to the school they went to - that’s their personal information to do with as they see fit. And given there is zero benefit to putting the names on there it seems sensible just not to do it.

It’s not infantilising at all, many actors don’t put their real full names on the credits of their movies and TV shows, many workers won’t share their surname with their customers, many women go by different surnames at work and home after marriage - keeping your privacy is a perfectly legitimate thing to do in the adult world too…

In fact it is so prevalent that I was reading an article recently about how often nowadays we don’t know people’s surnames such that we are changing how people are known socially.. it’s how common to have “John Plumber” saved in your phone for your plumber called John when you don’t know his surname but his occupation is more useful to you, or “Tom Peter’s Son” for your colleague’s child that you’ve been in touch with to give careers advice. It’s how we got a lot of surnames in the past, and it’s interesting to see this coming full circle!