Is it cheap not to cater?

This made me laugh WAY too loudly!

"Thank you for stopping by and sitting at a table. Thank you for paying for drinks and for mine. Now, off you go if you need food, because we need to get our drunk on!"

It's not snobbery, it's the truth.

Just like weddings, celebrate your milestones in the manner that you can afford. Not in the way that everyone else can afford.

Would you go to a large wedding organized like this? A formal one?
I say formal because my wedding was at the courthouse with Morticia Addams and Forrest Gump as our attendants. Our "reception" was in an ice cream parlor, but at least we paid!

By the time all the people get served drinks, pay their tab and order food (the smart ones that do), it will be time to move on. It takes a while to serve 40+ drinks and get paid, especially when there will be others in the main bar also drinking/eating.

This sounds like a future Reddit AITAH thread.

She may not expect them, but she wants the attention and I bet, deep down, she wants gifts. She wants a fuss made over her and I am betting people will be buying her drinks and maybe food.
So, she is celebrating a big birthday and wants to spend zilch.

I avoid these types of ordeals, I mean, parties. If you want to have a party, have a party. Feed people, let them buy their own drinks, have a cake and then whoever wants can do a pub crawl.

A bunch of people in one spot with nothing provided is a gathering, not a party, decorations be damned.

But, that's just me. YMMV.

This was literally in response to you asking "If I’d said my friend was having a 40th celebration and had booked afternoon tea and complimentary champagne in a private room at the Ritz from 4-6pm because she wasn’t much of a party girl, I wouldn’t be told it was a kids’ party time. I dare say people would say it sounds nice."

That's a completely different scenario; yes, of course people would say afternoon tea at 4pm sounds nice - because there's an actual "thing" and 4pm is an expected time to be doing that "thing") and why people are saying that 4pm in an empty function room sounds quite the opposite (even if the function room also happened to be at The Ritz).

The irony of getting annoyed at people for including "entirely pointless information", when you yourself are introducing wildly different comparisons and superfluous information yourself, such as booking lunch at 2pm or an afternoon tea at 4pm.

Ah, the eternal question: to cater or not to cater? A decision that might seem trivial on the surface, but trust me, it carries far more weight than you realize. Let’s break it down.

You’ve got a significant birthday on your hands, a hired function room, and 40 guests this isn’t your average afternoon. And yet, here’s the rub: the venue serves food, the pubs serve food, so why throw in a buffet?

Is it cheap not to cater? Well, that depends on how you define cheap.

Cheap is not about money; cheap is about making a decision that’s driven by convenience over consideration for the guests. You’re not saving pennies by skipping the buffet; you’re sending a message whether you intend to or not.

The real question is this: how do you want your guests to feel? Do you want them to wander into a room and feel like they're part of something special, or are you content with a couple of drinks and the leftover crumbs from the pub?

Catering isn't just about the food it’s about the experience, the effort, and yes, the image you project. It's about saying, "I’ve thought of everything. I’ve planned this celebration with the kind of care and attention it deserves."

Sure, you could get by without a buffet, but that’s not what this is about. It’s about creating a memorable event, one that’s thoughtful and complete. And frankly, if you’re willing to cheap out on this, then why bother with a function room at all?

So no, it's not cheap to cater. It's smart. And it’s what makes the difference between a forgettable gathering and one that leaves a lasting impression.

Start the night to do what?

If no food or drink, what's the point?

Thats so rude. A party always includes food. Or it's not a party.

I didn't see any snobbery.

So what's the point of the two hour gathering?
No food, no drinks, no gifts.

Honestly due to the timing it doesn't matter if she puts on a buffet or not. 4-6 isn't when food is needed so a buffet then wouldn't change my plans for the evening. I wouldn't mind paying for my own food so not fussed if she put a buffet on later either I'd just want a more organised point to plan in dinner. I don't think it's any more cheap than if someone organised a meal out and everyone paid for their own which is pretty normal

Ok any pub crawl I've been to has had an element of speed drinking. Maybe 30mins per drink max 2 drinks per pub so no more than an hour in each place to get food. Also everyone's getting drunk so disorganised about ordering food as soon as they get there. If I tried this we'd end up leaving people behind eating then they wouldn't find the group again that night or they'd leave when they got hungry. If you're sticking around each pub for longer it might work but if it's been called a pub crawl people may not realise that and so plan to leave for food

This just gets weirder!
You say there will be pregnant people there, there’s bound to be people with babysitters if it really is a 40th.

Have a lovely birthday whatever.

Even disregarding the absolute nonsense that a 4-6pm event with no food and upstairs in a pub (classy) would be.
Do 40 yr olds really go traipsing round on a pub crawl from 6pm of an evening trying to find a place where everyone can squeeze into, surely the party would end at first bar where maybe 10 or 12 would get in then the rest would be left on the pavement?
if by a miracle you find somewhere a night out drinking is extremely expensive these days and even shit burger and chips in a pub isn’t cheap either so all that money to shout at each other over loud music in some dive that is the only place with enough room for everyone, what a treat that would be.
Great fun for a bunch of uni students careering round the town, cause you’re bound to meet up with other friends if you get separated from the “party” but actual grown up 40 yr olds who probably had to organise childcare for this big celebration!
Quite frankly I’d be making an excuse that I was washing my hair even if I was as bald as a coot.

Can I ask what you actually want to achieve from this thread given you’ve stated you aren’t actually the birthday girl or organiser?

It is rather confusing as you are extremely defensive of the arrangements, yet I recognise you do think some form of buffet would be more appropriate for the function room bit.

It’s just virtually everyone responding on here thinks it’s odd timing and or catering needs to be provided, but you are challenging every negative post so it’s difficult to see what you want from posting this.