Is it cheap not to cater?

I think the function room is very odd, maybe not so odd if you are doing some food to start the night off but don't see the point otherwise. I wouldn't bother with the 4-6 bit unless it was to line my stomach! I'd be disappointed if there wasn't and be tempted to bog off early for a curry and say.. whose coming?!

I can see it now - “Ffs! Just get up to the bar and order yourself a panini and a pint, Lucy. Why am I responsible for you having a good time?!!”

She isn’t being obtuse. You are being rude. A panini is something you would order for lunch not dinner.

Stop bashing everyone that doesn’t agree with you!

I do think it's odd not to have food served, however I'd expect that the pub wouldn't be happy with people bringing in their own food.

I do understand however what you're saying about people buying their own meals. Yes the function room times are a bit odd, but I'd imagine that quite a few people would be in the main pub area before 6pm and stay there to eat then go on to wherever the group is. It's a bunch of, I'd assume mostly 40 year old women, having a catch up and reminiscing. Sitting down in smaller groups to eat and gossip, until the real drinking begins!

A panini and a pint 😆 (on your own tab, of course).
She’s not exactly the hostess with the mostest, bless her.
Hope it all works out, op, but it’s not looking too likely.

Why would someone order a panini for dinner??!! I’d want something more substantial personally especially if I was drinking!

Sounds to me like you have just hired the room to collect the presents. Not having food is naff and tight.

I haven’t suggested childcare is her responsibility (your reading comprehension isn’t particularly strong).
I said she’ll need to consider that not everyone will show up at 4pm (or, indeed, stay till 5am) when she hasn’t given them any particular reason to do so.

It seems to me that she wants the function room for Instagram purposes. Snap a pic of the big figure 40 balloons in front of a present table and then carry on with the night.

I'd expect nibbles in the function room and some bottles on the table/first drink provided by the host. If I knew there was no food provided all night I wouldn't get there until about 8 after having dinner at home first. I wouldn't risk waiting to eat out in case we couldn't get a table. Also it would be awkward to be sitting eating possibly alone while other guests are standing around drinking.

You need to provide the food.

The better thing would be to provide food and let people pay for their own drinks/ only provide a certain amount of drinks.

Honestly if people are expected to start drinking from four and some of them go on drinking til late, there’ll need to be food.

Yes it’s expensive but you’re not hosting if you just provide a room to drink in.

Edit - sorry I’ve just seen there’s no drink provided either - this is not going to work!

There are no drinks catered. There is no entertainment. There is literally nothing at all set up for guests other than decorations.

Better hosting would be to reduce the drinks catered and offer at least something for people to eat.

I went to a posh event on one of the Thames boats. Set sail at 8pm, dock at Midnight. Posh frocks and black tie. There was NO FOOD!! And we were unable to get any. It was truly awful. We were all starving and people either didn’t dare drink or got wasted. Terrible to not provide food in my opinion.

Exactly. It wouldn't be overly expensive to provide a few bottles of supermarket Prosecco, beers, soft drinks etc just to get the party started so everyone gets a first drink at least then buys the rest themselves. But mainly it's the food that should be provided, doesn't really matter about the drink. The pub could lay on teas and coffee and I'm sure would put out some sandwiches, sausages rolls pretty cheaply. Honestly as a friend I'd be getting together with others to lay it in for her.

OP this sounds like a terrible ‘party’ at the very least there should be a welcome drink and a buffet. If I was hiring a room for the first two hours I’d probably have a bar tab for that time. I would absolutely lay on food, I’d be far to embarrassed to not feed people I was inviting!! If you can’t afford a party, just don’t have one!! Don’t have one and expect your guests to foot the bill for it, that’s so cheap and nasty!

Most people I know would provide some wine or prosecco at a party. Definitely so if there is no food, because hosting is catering for people in some way. I think it is rude not to have anything at all to offer guests.

I have been to plenty of parties and paid for drinks, but I have never not been offered a single thing.

I don't think people are saying you should provide the drinks but food yes.

This. If you're hiring a function room,people will expect food. Seems a bit pointless.

Why? When you host you cater for people. No food, no drink, this is not a party!

OP She's been your friend for 35 years. Sit her down and persuade her there needs to be some food, or snacks at the least. Surely you don't want everyone thinking she's mean? Maybe she just hasnt thought this whole thing through properly - well she definitely hasn't so be a good friend and help her.