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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it cheap not to cater?

464 replies

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:12

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

OP posts:
Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:07

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 21:05

So will you all be getting booted out of the function room at 6pm?

What if birthday cheapskate girl is wanting to move onto the next pub, but people have only just ordered food?

I suspect that we’ll end up going downstairs in the same pub for a while first. If people are ordering as everyone’s leaving I guess they’re just told where to go afterwards.

OP posts:
MolluscMonday · 23/03/2025 21:06

It sounds rubbish tbh. Has she been to a party before?

CanOfMangoTango · 23/03/2025 21:06

Really weird setup tbh OP I'm not surprised you're in 2 minds about going

I've been to that sort of birthday/ celebration before but what tends to happen is the tables are reserved until the pub closes and people drop in at whatever time they fancy, sometimes stay for one drink, some for the duration and people order food when they get hungry.

The pub crawl part seems designed to whittle the numbers down to a select few very quickly.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:06

Darkclothes · 23/03/2025 21:04

OP- I hope you are planning on showing your 'friend' this thread???

Of course I’m not.

OP posts:
AirborneElephant · 23/03/2025 21:05

It’s very odd just inviting that many people for two hours of drinks and no food. I guess since people have been told then it’s up to them whether to come, and certainly when we were younger all getting out own food at a pub / bar was the norm for birthdays. Just feels a bit cheep for a 40th.

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 21:05

So will you all be getting booted out of the function room at 6pm?

What if birthday cheapskate girl is wanting to move onto the next pub, but people have only just ordered food?

Darkclothes · 23/03/2025 21:04

OP- I hope you are planning on showing your 'friend' this thread???

VeryNiceDay · 23/03/2025 21:03

I think if it's a function room in a pub then that is fine and people can buy their own food, as long as there is somewhere to sit down and eat. I would prefer this tbh as I could then choose what to eat.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:02

NewMoonred · 23/03/2025 20:58

So people are just meeting to go on pub crawl at first pub?
I hope she’s not expecting people to buy her drinks.

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Yes, I guess that’s what it is. Meeting at a reserved function room in a pub for a couple of hours first before going elsewhere.

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 23/03/2025 21:00

varden · 23/03/2025 20:58

OK, keep your hair on!

No presents expected, no food, no drinks supplied. Fair swop.

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This is so cruel and triggering to people with alopecia!

Only joking.....

Heidi2018 · 23/03/2025 21:00

I would at least expect her to have finger food organised for one the pubs you are going to. I wouldn't necessarily expect it in the first place with the function room, but if she's expecting some people to go out at 4 and stay out all night yes she should be providing some sort of food along the way!

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:59

NewMoonred · 23/03/2025 20:54

Another one asking is she buying the drinks? For the two hours or is she expecting people to buy their own?
How can you do a pub crawl for 40 people? By the time everyone is served it will be time to move to next pub!

She will expect everyone to buy their own but I think that’s entirely reasonable.

I suspect, certainly early on, that the moves between pubs won’t be very quick. Otherwise it will be impossible.

OP posts:
varden · 23/03/2025 20:58

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/03/2025 20:56

We've been told twice that the invitation says no presents.

Show quote history

OK, keep your hair on!

No presents expected, no food, no drinks supplied. Fair swop.

NewMoonred · 23/03/2025 20:58

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:51

No. I do think that would be unreasonable to expect!

Show quote history

So people are just meeting to go on pub crawl at first pub?
I hope she’s not expecting people to buy her drinks.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:57

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 20:53

This makes no sense at all 😬

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Think of it like reserving tables so you know you can sit together with your friends.

OP posts:
Beemail2 · 23/03/2025 20:56

OK have some rolls, crisps, scones, jam, cream, cake
They'll need something to line stomachs before a pub crawl.

Overthebow · 23/03/2025 20:56

It all sounds a bit strange. She should at least order a load of chip bowls or similar and people can then get more food if they want.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:56

varden · 23/03/2025 20:54

It's not MY party 😊

But I agree totally, just start the pub crawl at 7 or so and forget about the function room.

I think that's where the party girl expects all her presents to be given.......

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I’ve said several times, it’s clear she doesn’t expect gifts.

OP posts:
varden · 23/03/2025 20:56

Function room - give me my birthday presents, thanks. Starve away and buy your own drinks though.

Pub crawl, few pubs will have room for 40 or so in a gang, so there may be trouble ahead....

Floatlikeafeather2 · 23/03/2025 20:56

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:45

Sorry, it’s not a hired hall. It’s a function room in a pub. I judged when she told me there was no buffet but I guess if she’d said she’d reserved a load of tables downstairs I wouldn’t have expected food catered by her, so maybe I’m wrong to judge.

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Oh right. I had a vision of people sitting in a hall somewhere, twiddling their thumbs for 2 hours, until they were released to the pub. It still seems an odd time to start a pub crawl though. In fact, I think it's got Disaster written all over it. People will get drunk very quickly if they start drinking at 4 and haven't eaten since 1, whether they eventually order food or not. Still I'm not invited so that's ok. Have a nice time. 😊

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/03/2025 20:56

varden · 23/03/2025 20:54

It's not MY party 😊

But I agree totally, just start the pub crawl at 7 or so and forget about the function room.

I think that's where the party girl expects all her presents to be given.......

Show quote history

We've been told twice that the invitation says no presents.

NewMoonred · 23/03/2025 20:54

Another one asking is she buying the drinks? For the two hours or is she expecting people to buy their own?
How can you do a pub crawl for 40 people? By the time everyone is served it will be time to move to next pub!

varden · 23/03/2025 20:54

TheMissingLinkHasBeenFound · 23/03/2025 20:51

Oh fuck offfff, surely nobody is that miserable?

Ditch the room hire, and say "were out for drinks/pub crawl, starting at 7"

Show quote history

It's not MY party 😊

But I agree totally, just start the pub crawl at 7 or so and forget about the function room.

I think that's where the party girl expects all her presents to be given.......

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 20:53

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:23

I think it’s just so enough tables etc are reserved to start the night plus decorations can be put up.

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This makes no sense at all 😬

Gowlett · 23/03/2025 20:53

Throw a few crisps into a bowl.