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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it cheap not to cater?

464 replies

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:12

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs.

Does the event need catered (a buffet)?

Yes - YABU
No - YANBU

OP posts:
Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/03/2025 21:21

RaraRachael · 23/03/2025 21:09

I went to a 60th party in a local hotel. Stupidly I didn't eat beforehand as I expected there would be food.

Nope - absolutely nothing.

Seemingly to quote a stupid Scottish saying, "Eating's cheating"

Who knew 🙄

Or, to draw on another Scottish stereotype… “you’ll have had your tea…”

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:21

Gingerkittykat · 23/03/2025 21:21

Why is it starting at 4 pm? Is it to accommodate kids or something?

I wouldn't want to go to a gathering that started at 4pm and then went on for hours.

It is definitely not appropriate for kids!

OP posts:
Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:21

TwinklyNight · 23/03/2025 21:19

I am guessing your friend is strapped for money, but is hoping for a night out celebrating with their friends.

Has anybody other than you questioned them on this?

I don’t know. I only know a couple of mutual friends.

OP posts:
CalleOcho · 23/03/2025 21:21

I don’t know if it’s more of a northern thing, but I’ve never been to a “do” (party) in a function room that didn’t have a buffet.

You don’t even have to spend loads on catering companies. In my experiences friends and family usually all club together and do everything homemade. Sandwiches, wraps, pizzas, chips, crisps, salads, buns, cakes, breadsticks and dips.

Gingerkittykat · 23/03/2025 21:21

Why is it starting at 4 pm? Is it to accommodate kids or something?

I wouldn't want to go to a gathering that started at 4pm and then went on for hours.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:20

Heidi2018 · 23/03/2025 21:18

Well you've no choice now OP but to go, stay out for the entire night, and report back to us on what the function room was booked for and when people ate!

I will certainly be doing this!

OP posts:
ChompandaGrazia · 23/03/2025 21:20

Even with a big lunch I’d be wanting something later.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:20

WheresYourSnickers · 23/03/2025 21:18

That's shocking! Either have a party or don't, don't dump your guests to move on without them.

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It has been made clear though that the room is reserved 4-6pm and then it’s a pub crawl. You can’t stay in the same place all night because some people are two hours late.

OP posts:
TwinklyNight · 23/03/2025 21:19

I am guessing your friend is strapped for money, but is hoping for a night out celebrating with their friends.

Has anybody other than you questioned them on this?

Heidi2018 · 23/03/2025 21:18

Well you've no choice now OP but to go, stay out for the entire night, and report back to us on what the function room was booked for and when people ate!

WheresYourSnickers · 23/03/2025 21:18

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:07

I suspect that we’ll end up going downstairs in the same pub for a while first. If people are ordering as everyone’s leaving I guess they’re just told where to go afterwards.

Show quote history

That's shocking! Either have a party or don't, don't dump your guests to move on without them.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:16

Isittimeformynapyet · 23/03/2025 21:07

My bet is that most people just end up staying at the first pub all night seeing as she's reserved the area.

The reserved area is till 6pm. It’s not available after that.

OP posts:
ChompandaGrazia · 23/03/2025 21:16

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:25

It’s expected that they’d eat before or order their own food from the bar.

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Nope. That seems odd. I can’t imagine turning up and ordering a meal when other people aren’t. Either it’s a party with no catering beyond perhaps some crisps or a dinner/buffet.

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:15

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 21:11

If people are ordering as everyone’s leaving I guess they’re just told where to go

😂 yep, literally.

Cheers for coming, but we’re off to the next pub now so fuck you.

To be fair, a pub crawl does involve different pubs and she’s made it clear that’s the plan. If you waited till everyone was finished every time no one would ever move.

OP posts:
varden · 23/03/2025 21:13

I think a pp nailed it. The pre crawl function room gig is designed for those who hate pub crawls (that would be me!). The true weak with the hunger "friends" will carry on to the pub crawl.

Crazybaby123 · 23/03/2025 21:13

Needs more thought as to the order and details of the event and the day. And communicate to the attendees.
Can be catered or not but needs thought as to what people will do between 2 and 4 at the venue and if they will or won't be catered for then needs to let everyone know.

WheresYourSnickers · 23/03/2025 21:11

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 20:33

Yes. Well before, given 4 is the starting time.

Show quote history

Yes. I'd expect to provide food if hosting a party

I think your timings are way off - expecting people to eat at 3pm before starting drinking for the day/ night, is asking for trouble - people will get messy.

It's a weird idea for a party. Either host an afternoon party or meet in the pub at 8pm for the night.

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 21:11

If people are ordering as everyone’s leaving I guess they’re just told where to go

😂 yep, literally.

Cheers for coming, but we’re off to the next pub now so fuck you.

Gravytanned · 23/03/2025 21:10

I wouldn’t be bothered about food not being provided between 4 and 6 as I could have lunch first.
But then being out drinking from 4, I’m going to either want food or I’ll probably be getting fairly shitfaced and going home earlier than I’d like to.

if it was me organising that I’d have a place marked out to get food about 8ish.

LollyLand · 23/03/2025 21:09

Why would you bother to book a room and not do food? May aswell cancel and go straight to the pubs.

Some people might leave straight after the function room in search for food instead.

Loub1987 · 23/03/2025 21:09

Cheap - yes. As they can’t be bothered to feed their guests. Illogical - absolutely, it starts at 4. When would they eat?

RaraRachael · 23/03/2025 21:09

I went to a 60th party in a local hotel. Stupidly I didn't eat beforehand as I expected there would be food.

Nope - absolutely nothing.

Seemingly to quote a stupid Scottish saying, "Eating's cheating"

Who knew 🙄

Original poster
Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:08

HellDorado · 23/03/2025 21:07

Exactly. Why not just invite people to the pub and cut this bit out altogether?

Show quote history

I think so the tables are all reserved and everyone’s together.

OP posts:
Isittimeformynapyet · 23/03/2025 21:07

My bet is that most people just end up staying at the first pub all night seeing as she's reserved the area.

HellDorado · 23/03/2025 21:07

Floatlikeafeather2 · 23/03/2025 20:36

I still don't understand the function room part. What are you hiring it for? What will people be doing for those 2 hours. Just sitting around in a hired hall for 2 hours would feel anything but festive if there wasn't even a drink or a few crisps to occupy yourself with.

Exactly. Why not just invite people to the pub and cut this bit out altogether?