Page 12 | Is it cheap not to cater?

Itrtttyy · 2025-03-23T20:12:07+00:00

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs. Does the event need catered (a buffet)? Yes - YABU No - YANBU

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:23

justasking111 · 23/03/2025 22:17

Because people like to choose where they eat. Be Guaranteed a table to eat in comfort food they enjoy.

I'd. Drop in on the birthday boy/girl give my best wishes and slip off for a meal, possibly with others I knew were invited all of which I'd book in advance.

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Eh? Of course people can choose where they eat, every night of their life. If they accept an invitation to a celebration where they’re told they can order pub food, why would they go out of their way to decide that’s the night they need a sit down curry?

The lack of buffet is stupid and cheap, but if you have to buy food and you’ve accepted the invitation knowing that, why would you be a complete dickhead and decide you must eat somewhere other than where the woman who’s birthday you’ve come out to celebrate is?

OP posts:

DeepRoseFish · 23/03/2025 22:23

There absolutely should be a buffet. Otherwise she should just be doing a pub crawl starting much later. I’d think she was extremely cheap to not bother feeding her invited guests.

Dora33 · 23/03/2025 22:22

I wouldn't bother with the function room or decorating it.
Unless most of her friends arrive at 4pm, she could be spending part of the 2 hours sitting in her decorated function room, with just a few people.
More likely most people won't arrive until after 430pm,/ 5pm if.they are planning on staying out all evening.
Also she is going to have to take down her decorations before 6pm, to have it ready for the next people who have booked the room.
Your friend should definitely provide food / nibs if she is using the function room

LuckySantangelo35 · 23/03/2025 22:21

DenholmElliot11 · 23/03/2025 20:20

You need to cater for people at parties yes otherwise it isn't a party is it? Alcohol should never be served without food.

Adult parties usually start at 7 not 4. 4pm party is, well odd too.

Edited

@DenholmElliot11

“Alcohol should never be served without food.”

says who?

NewMoonred · 23/03/2025 22:20

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 21:46

Just to reiterate, there is accessible pub grub all night, you just have to order and pay for it.

My AIBU is whether there should be a buffet at the 4-6pm function room part.

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Okay. I think having a forty birthday function room meet up between 4-6 pm is rubbish. It’s just meeting in a pub with maybe banner and balloon why bother.
If I was invited I would want a fizzy drink and at least crisps and nibbles and maybe a slice of cake.
My local town centre that people go to for pub crawls, depending on time you definitely wouldn’t get a seat to eat any food.(after 6pm).
So people are going to have food if want in the different pubs. She definitely only really wants the select few to finish the pub crawl.
I can’t believe she sent invites out. Surely a quick text would have done.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:19

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/03/2025 22:13

As indicated earlier, it sounds chaotic. A shared meal should be everyone eating together - not a few at a time.

OP, your defence of this nonsense really does suggest it's you, not a "friend".

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You can believe it’s me if you want. I really don’t care.

But the lack of reading comprehension and the insistence on making things up is very frustrating. She isn’t inviting people for a meal. No one is under any impression she is. A party buffet isn’t a shared meal where everyone sits down together. People get up and help themselves for as long as it’s out, if they want to.

OP posts:

BasiliskStare · 23/03/2025 22:18

@Itrtttyy " She’ll be being tight. Almost certain of it."

In which case I think that's a shame. But her birthday so she gets to choose.

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friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:18

If you are actually the organiser as you seem very defensive about the arrangements, perhaps have a rethink?

justasking111 · 23/03/2025 22:17

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:10

Why would anyone need to go to a curry house? Buy a curry or whatever at the pub. People are not banned from eating.

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Because people like to choose where they eat. Be Guaranteed a table to eat in comfort food they enjoy.

I'd. Drop in on the birthday boy/girl give my best wishes and slip off for a meal, possibly with others I knew were invited all of which I'd book in advance.

friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:15

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:12

But your own booze, buy your own curry…
What incentive is there to gather at this joyless function room?

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Exactly. None whatsoever with no atmosphere. Most people will swerve this and join for a drink later. It’s going to put a big dampener on the birthday celebrations as it’s just going to be tedious for those early arrivals who will want to bail out earlier than they would otherwise if joining later.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:14

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:12

But your own booze, buy your own curry…
What incentive is there to gather at this joyless function room?

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What’s that got to do with going to a curry house at 6?

OP posts:

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/03/2025 22:13

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:10

Why would anyone need to go to a curry house? Buy a curry or whatever at the pub. People are not banned from eating.

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As indicated earlier, it sounds chaotic. A shared meal should be everyone eating together - not a few at a time.

OP, your defence of this nonsense really does suggest it's you, not a "friend".

friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:12

This is a really odd way to organise a birthday get together. You either book a function room and cater in some way or you meet at a pub having drinks and perhaps go to another on your pub crawl.

But there’s absolutely no reason to book a function room to ask your guests to pay for their drinks or potentially order food that they pay for. Just do that downstairs in the main pub area. It takes away the pub atmosphere and is going to be pretty dismal if the majority turn up later for the pub crawl element. It’s also an odd time to do it.

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:12

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:10

Why would anyone need to go to a curry house? Buy a curry or whatever at the pub. People are not banned from eating.

Show quote history

But your own booze, buy your own curry…
What incentive is there to gather at this joyless function room?

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:10

thenightsky · 23/03/2025 22:07

I think most people would follow you to the curry house.

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Why would anyone need to go to a curry house? Buy a curry or whatever at the pub. People are not banned from eating.

OP posts:

thenightsky · 23/03/2025 22:07

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/03/2025 21:38

If I were invited and actually went, I'd bugger off after the function room and go for a curry or some such. Then probably bog off home.

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I think most people would follow you to the curry house.

CalleOcho · 23/03/2025 22:07

If I was invited to this - buffet or no buffet at the function room - I’d just totally surpass the function room altogether. I’d eat at home about 6pm then I’d meet everyone at the pubs at around 6:30/7pm.

A do/party should be -
Function room with a buffet - 7pm whilst midnight/closing time.

Or

Pub crawls starting at 7pm. Everyone eats beforehand at home, or you all go for a dirty kebab at the end of the night.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:05

BasiliskStare · 23/03/2025 22:01

@Itrtttyy Essentially she has organised a glorified meeting place. I think booking the room from 7 for an hour or two would at least let people eat beforehand but I suppose the pub wants it for , y'know , Actual Functions.

I think she should definitely see what the pub could rustle up as a buffet - they may if it's dead time to them. Even just sausages , cheese , bread - Oh I don't know just something. But I am singing off everyone's hymn sheet here. Is she hard up or is it being just a bit tight. Either which way I'd be tempted to save even more by not bothering with the decorations.

Intriguing though . I do hope you report back. Who know this may prove to be The Way Forward for significant birthday celebrations 😂

She’ll be being tight. Almost certain of it.

OP posts:

ODFOx · 23/03/2025 22:04

Of course you must provide food and drink. Otherwise you have a group of people standing around in a function room.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:04

PrincessScarlett · 23/03/2025 21:58

I think the 4-6 function room needs ditching completely. What a shit idea. Why would you hire a room for 2 hours and not provide a welcome drink, buffet or entertainment?

Then everyone meets in the first pub at 7pm after having dinner at home.

I've done pub crawls in my hey days where at least 40 people attended and any reasonable sized chain pub will be able to accommodate an influx of 40 people.

Agree with you entirely. I’m not sure why people think pubs would struggle with 40 people though. That’s the least of the problems.

OP posts:

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/03/2025 22:04

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:02

I think she’d have checked that we can eat in the function room.

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Unlikely, she’s not exactly thinking of the guests here is she. It’s all about her.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:02

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 23/03/2025 21:58

Op you keep saying that people can order food at the pub, but it's unlikely they'll serve in the function room which will mean people finding tables downstairs, and depending on what type of pub at tea time, which 4-6 is, it could be very busy and might take people an hour plus to order, get their food and eat it! Honestly she might find a lot of people bail on her cos the 'party' sounds shit.

I think she’d have checked that we can eat in the function room.

OP posts:

BasiliskStare · 23/03/2025 22:01

@Itrtttyy Essentially she has organised a glorified meeting place. I think booking the room from 7 for an hour or two would at least let people eat beforehand but I suppose the pub wants it for , y'know , Actual Functions.

I think she should definitely see what the pub could rustle up as a buffet - they may if it's dead time to them. Even just sausages , cheese , bread - Oh I don't know just something. But I am singing off everyone's hymn sheet here. Is she hard up or is it being just a bit tight. Either which way I'd be tempted to save even more by not bothering with the decorations.

Intriguing though . I do hope you report back. Who know this may prove to be The Way Forward for significant birthday celebrations 😂

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:01

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/03/2025 21:57

Has your friend paid for entertainment?

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I don’t know but I doubt it. Might be surprised though.

I assume my friend has no buffet because she’s always been tight. If she splashed money on entertainment before food I’d be even more bemused. But then we’ve all been to weddings with thousands spent on bands and flowers whilst all the guests are starving.

OP posts:

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 23/03/2025 21:58

Op you keep saying that people can order food at the pub, but it's unlikely they'll serve in the function room which will mean people finding tables downstairs, and depending on what type of pub at tea time, which 4-6 is, it could be very busy and might take people an hour plus to order, get their food and eat it! Honestly she might find a lot of people bail on her cos the 'party' sounds shit.