Page 10 | Is it cheap not to cater?

Itrtttyy · 2025-03-23T20:12:07+00:00

it’s a significant birthday and a function room is being hired out 4-6pm for around 40 guests then afterwards carrying on in nearby (nice) pubs. The function room place serves food as do a few nearby pubs. Does the event need catered (a buffet)? Yes - YABU No - YANBU

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 23:03

Avatartar · 23/03/2025 22:38

Sounds like it’ll all be over by 8pm. Ever tried to move 40 people en masse, go to the loo, walk to next pub and then surprise the bar staff and try to serve people quickly. Shambolic at best, can you get her to think it through?

It’ll be carrying on at 5am. I’d put money on it.

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VivX · 23/03/2025 23:02

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:50

I don’t know. If it was me I’d have arranged a big lunch somewhere at 2pm or so all together and then just gone on the drink reserving tables in the first couple of pubs. Which wouldn’t be me spending any more money which is what led to be posting. I don’t think that plan is unreasonable. I do think booking a room and telling people to order their own food is unreasonable and it’s insanely cheap not to do a buffet. I don’t really see why there’s a difference because in both scenarios people pay for themselves, but there is.

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Because in the first option, you've booked tables for a lunch/meal at a set starting time and everyone understands what booking a table for a meal implies;

in the second, actual option, you've booked a room for a period of time, which people will drift into at whatever time they feel like - most people will arrive "fashionably late" rather than dead on 4pm - where there is no clear social norms as to what would or should happen when the hostess has booked a room for a "party" but literally nothing else, certainly no provision of an actual party.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 23:02

justasking111 · 23/03/2025 22:42

Because I'd like to be sure that I got a table and prefer to choose where I eat and what the standard of catering is. I've never been out for a curry as a meal.

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Well then you wouldn’t be happy with a buffet either.

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crockofshite · 23/03/2025 23:01

Who's buying the rounds in the pubs? 40 drinks and 40 different tabs each time? Most pubs would be overwhelmed by that many people to serve at the same time.

Anyway, in response to the OPs question, yes, I think birthday girl SHOULD put on a buffet in the function room before heading out on the pub crawl.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 23:00

Regretsmorethanafew · 23/03/2025 22:38

It's not the night though. It's 4pm, it's the afternoon.

Are you expecting people to start drinking at 4pm, with no food, and then carry on all evening? That's going to be a total disaster. Either everyone will leave to eat or everyone will get messy drunk

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She isn’t expecting people not to eat if they want to eat (which I will). She’s just not providing the food.

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Sosoftandfluffycat · 23/03/2025 22:59

Sosoftandfluffycat · 23/03/2025 22:50

Can't some of you club together to put on a bit of a spread?

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If she's well loved by friends and family do it as a surprise for her. It doesn't have to be expensive if a few of you chip in

friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:59

Franjipanl8r · 23/03/2025 22:55

The question should be “why is there a party between 4-6pm”. It’s impossible to answer the food question because the party time itself is so odd.

4pm-6pm is a kids party time.

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It is an odd time for an adult birthday celebration especially if a pub crawl is the intention afterwards.

I think you can see here the overall consensus is that it’s not what people would expect. Fine for a pub crawl on its own, fine for a catered drinks event or fine for your suggestion of a lunch earlier.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:59

DeepRoseFish · 23/03/2025 22:36

I just really don’t understand when people are supposed to eat on a pub crawl? Yes there might be food available but who realistically is going to be ordering and eating a meal 4-6pm? And then when are you going to eat if you don’t do that?

You just order food at whatever pub you’re in, and then you eat it. It’s not clubbing, it’s going to different pubs.

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Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:57

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:36

To be fair, all people are doing is telling you that it sounds absolutely shit.
The guests will doubtless be so underwhelmed they’ll leave early (in search of food / atmosphere) and she’s almost certain to be disappointed.
Why are you so certain this isn’t so?

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Why would they have to search for food?

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Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:55

TheBunnyLover · 23/03/2025 22:35

Yes.

But it started at 20:00. People had plenty of time to eat beforehand, even thosefor whom it was a journey . I think is the main difference. Some of my friends live/d an hr to a couple of hours away and were welcome to stay over. Those who didn't live further afield of course could eat then turn up and then come for drinks everyone welcome to come and drink/eat with me once the pub/act was done.

A few people who came from further afield and staying over were offered food before we went out but all had eaten already anyway, I offered to pay for takeaway before going out too but no takers, we all just had a couple of champagnes!

Were it at 16:00 however.. If for some reason I'd have wanted that I'd have definitely put on food. I'm not particularly well-off but people drinking tend to just want some carbs and sustenance, so I'd have hired someone to cater or if I couldn't afford that I'd have made food myself.
And I'm the sort who doesn't ever eat much at such parties! But I know other people do, for social reasons as well as anything else.

I think it is quite different to a wedding where you're 'captive' all day and a guest who should absolutely be fed. Yes my friends were guests at my birthday but it was a night thing, not a day thing, I still made food for those who'd travelled/wanted to make it a longer night anyway, and for 90% of my guests it was a case of a 5 minute walk to the pub or at most a 5-10 minute taxi ride and then home or back for drinks and food if they wanted.

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I think I’m maybe too fixated on serving food. I can’t imagine hosting and not serving people food. I’d be mortified if it ever ran out. Maybe it’s just me.

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FondantFancyFan · 23/03/2025 22:55

Sounds like a shit 'party', imo you need food to absorb the alcohol and prevent a quick decent into drunken mayhem.

Franjipanl8r · 23/03/2025 22:55

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:52

Because they’re opinions which are completely irrelevant to my question about whether there should be a buffet put on between 4-6pm.

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The question should be “why is there a party between 4-6pm”. It’s impossible to answer the food question because the party time itself is so odd.

4pm-6pm is a kids party time.

Topsyturvy78 · 23/03/2025 22:55

Why bother booking a function room for 2 hours if your not providing food? At least put some canapes and nibbles on. I can't see many wanting to come. What do you plan on doing for two hours? It's an odd time for an adult birthday celebration.

justasking111 · 23/03/2025 22:53

There's also the problem of babysitters for some I suspect. With the strange hours of the event.

friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:52

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:47

I think there will be 40 people or near enough at the function room at 4pm. She is well loved and the 40 are her closest friends and family. They will be there.

But if they’re like me they’ll be raising an eye that she can’t put a buffet on so we can line our stomachs a bit.

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Then what will happen if you think that the majority are going to come to this bit is that they will then drift off afterwards and go their separate ways. A few will come to the next venue but you aren’t going to get everyone who has gathered in a function room to then join a pub crawl if they’ve already bought their own drinks and no food.

It’s odd timing as well. 6.30pm meet up ok but 4pm is not really the timeframe for a precursor for a pub crawl as someone else has said.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:52

friendlycat · 23/03/2025 22:34

I don’t actually understand why you’ve put a post up about this. You’re very defensive about it all on the one hand and on the other you think it’s all a bit cheap.

You don’t like hearing people commenting that it’s odd timing and not really how to plan a birthday celebration. Why post if you don’t like the answers?

Because they’re opinions which are completely irrelevant to my question about whether there should be a buffet put on between 4-6pm.

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Franjipanl8r · 23/03/2025 22:52

Make it earlier and put on some trays of sandwiches and fizz and make it a boozy lunch instead is what I’d do if I wanted to save money.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:50

WheresYourSnickers · 23/03/2025 22:32

@Itrtttyy why is she having the 4-6pm "party"? Why not just reserve a couple of tables in the pub from 7pm? I don't get it.

I don’t know. If it was me I’d have arranged a big lunch somewhere at 2pm or so all together and then just gone on the drink reserving tables in the first couple of pubs. Which wouldn’t be me spending any more money which is what led to be posting. I don’t think that plan is unreasonable. I do think booking a room and telling people to order their own food is unreasonable and it’s insanely cheap not to do a buffet. I don’t really see why there’s a difference because in both scenarios people pay for themselves, but there is.

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Sosoftandfluffycat · 23/03/2025 22:50

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:47

I think there will be 40 people or near enough at the function room at 4pm. She is well loved and the 40 are her closest friends and family. They will be there.

But if they’re like me they’ll be raising an eye that she can’t put a buffet on so we can line our stomachs a bit.

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Can't some of you club together to put on a bit of a spread?

DeepRoseFish · 23/03/2025 22:50

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:45

Why wouldn’t you just not come?

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I wouldn’t go either. I’d eat my tea and then pop by later on.

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:49

I think it’s quite optimistic to assume all 40 guests will be there at 4pm.

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:47

Sosoftandfluffycat · 23/03/2025 22:31

It sounds completely joyless, not a celebration. No gifts, no food or drink provided for what could be about 8 hours. I have an image of a cold function room with half a dozen people in it just looking at each other and wondering what to do. I really think most people will choose to eat at home at 6 ish and go to the pub later. I would try and talk your friend round or her birthday could be a huge disappointment

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I think there will be 40 people or near enough at the function room at 4pm. She is well loved and the 40 are her closest friends and family. They will be there.

But if they’re like me they’ll be raising an eye that she can’t put a buffet on so we can line our stomachs a bit.

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Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:45

howdoyoudooooo · 23/03/2025 22:30

Because it’s infinitely more enjoyable than this “party”. I wouldn’t be wasting a night out on this farce, so I’d probably turn up for the weird function room bit, seeing as that’s the only time people will probably all be together, then go off for a nice dinner.

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Why wouldn’t you just not come?

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Annascaul · 23/03/2025 22:45

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:42

Which would be a lovely thing for you to do as an invited friend or family member to a 40th celebration. Stay out, but go somewhere else and try and commandeer the guests.

Makes me pleased by friend’s main fault is just being too cheap to put on a sausage roll.

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But it’s her cheapness that will encourage her guests to act like this!
What aren’t you getting??

Original poster

Itrtttyy · 23/03/2025 22:42

HenDoNot · 23/03/2025 22:30

But you said yourself it is expected that some people will only call in to the function room part.

I think that’s what most people will do.

I know I would, I’d call in at about 5pm for a few drinks, and then go on to a restaurant or curry house - I’d see beforehand if anyone else wanted to come along too and I’d pre-book it so we are guaranteed a table.

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Which would be a lovely thing for you to do as an invited friend or family member to a 40th celebration. Stay out, but go somewhere else and try and commandeer the guests.

Makes me pleased by friend’s main fault is just being too cheap to put on a sausage roll.

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