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Original poster

To not have any memories

41 replies

WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 23/03/2025 19:56

Is it normal to not really have memories? I have lots of clear memories up to age 7 or 8 and then after that very few. Even the last year seems a blur. I find it strange how I can remember things from a long time ago but nothing recently. Interested to hear other people's experience.

The reason I'm asking is because my daughter is growing up so quick, I want to remember these times. Only then did it occur to me I don't really keep memories.

OP posts:
AlmosttimeforChristmas · 23/03/2025 20:26

WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 23/03/2025 20:06

I'm quite upset because looking back over my daughter's first year, I don't have any memories as such. That is why I love looking back over photos

FWIW I don’t have many memories of my children when they were tiny. I wonder if it’s because it’s impossible to keep a back of all the ages and stages because we are very absorbed by the actual child in front of us

Original poster
WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 23/03/2025 20:21

worriedimbeinglaughedat · 23/03/2025 20:13

I’m the opposite - childhood trauma and I remember things too clearly. Even mundane crap like what shorts I wore to a playgroup picnic in 1994. Goodness knows why. I’m neurodivergent so I suspect it’s a part of that.

I've got so many very clear memories before the age 8. Like you, even the mundane what clothes clothes I was wearing, where I was positioned, what exactly was said, which pick and mix sweets I chose on a specific day etc. It's the contrast that gets me - those early ones are so vivid and there are so many of them, then radio silence.

OP posts:
worriedimbeinglaughedat · 23/03/2025 20:13

I’m the opposite - childhood trauma and I remember things too clearly. Even mundane crap like what shorts I wore to a playgroup picnic in 1994. Goodness knows why. I’m neurodivergent so I suspect it’s a part of that.

Smokeyblueblack · 23/03/2025 20:11

Over the years I have deliberately tried to forget my memories because they were, for the most part, not particularly good memories. I was helped in this by having a head injury some years ago which has permanently affected my brain .
Unfortunately I still can't erase some of the painful memories that I would dearly love to forget.
My ambition is to totally live in the present. But I don't think my outlook is very positive for good mental health

eosmum · 23/03/2025 20:10

I’m the same. I have the odd patchy memory of a specific event, like going to some event and my dad being sick in a bin, but not the event or anything about it. It was an angry house so maybe I blocked a bit. But I have very few memories of my own children’s childhoods, without photos I doubt I have any at all. I hate it when people tell me about things we did when my kids were small but I have no recollection of, but there’s a photo to prove it was there. I am very forgetful in general and much worse since menopause.

Original poster
WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 23/03/2025 20:09

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/03/2025 20:05

My DP has blocked out quite a lot of his childhood due to trauma and has major gaps in memory of what happened.

Did something traumatic happen to you at around that age?

Big life change at age 8, it was a pretty rough ride after that for a few years. I do have some clear memories of basic training age 19. That's about it. I have 10 years of blank during childhood, and then none after basic training (I don't even remember leaving the military!). I'm 30 years old btw.

OP posts:
TheDandyKhakiDuck · 23/03/2025 20:09

You could be dissociating. I couldn’t remember much of my childhood before therapy and had thought it was a ‘normal’ childhood. (CPTSD) Turns out it wasn’t that normal at all.

11811B · 23/03/2025 20:07

I'm the same and no drug use or trauma in my past! I have no mental images which I think it makes it hard to visually remember things. I have to look at photos to remember my kids when they were little. I can know that things happened objectively and I can remember odd things like random conversations but not really what I would call memories

HJBeans · 23/03/2025 20:07

I have an appalling memory. I have bits and pieces all along, and no adverse experiences I’m aware of blocking out, but in general just don’t retain things. I could reread most of my favourite books from my 20s as 30 years later I remember so little about them. Been to lots of amazing gigs and theatre shows with my husband but can’t recall I’ve been to most them. I find it sad with the kids growing up, too, and take lots of pictures.

Original poster
WhenSunnyGetsBlue · 23/03/2025 20:06

I'm quite upset because looking back over my daughter's first year, I don't have any memories as such. That is why I love looking back over photos

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 23/03/2025 20:05

My DP has blocked out quite a lot of his childhood due to trauma and has major gaps in memory of what happened.

Did something traumatic happen to you at around that age?

givemespringtime · 23/03/2025 20:03

I don’t remember some parts of my childhood/teen years. I went through a really tough time with anxiety/trauma so maybe my mind blocked those out

Zezet · 23/03/2025 20:02

(No weed ever!)

Cerialkiller · 23/03/2025 20:01

Are you or were you a weed user? My bil is similar to you and is completely blank on many things that should be memorable. He remembers parts of his early childhood but lots of his adulthood is blurry and he has a generally awful memory which he blames on the drugs.

Zezet · 23/03/2025 20:01

Me! And I had a very nice life all along. I can remember stuff if reminded of it. I am just terribly bad with it spontaneously.

My DH remembers our past, and I remember the future (what house we'd like to live in next, where we want to go on holidays, ...).

Not a sign of anything!

DenholmElliot11 · 23/03/2025 19:57

It's never a good sign to have no childhood memory, or gaps in childhood memory.

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