Would it be unreasonable to tell my housemate I won't help her anymore if she has another child?

Absolutely, OP what are you BOTH thinking?!

Keep telling her that you are really looking forward to having her support - she will be able to help you with your baby like you did with hers.

And so little answers...

YANBU to put your needs and your future
child’s needs first and she certainly can’t keep using you or expect you to be a substitute parent or fill the gap that the father would do if he was around. You need to explain how you feel and maybe Contact your local council children’s department or Citizen Advice Bureau for advice on what you or your housemate can do in terms of living arrangements if living together no longer works, but do not have family close by, or about to move out due to financial restrictions

Tell jo to go.

This sounds such a chaotic way to bring children into the world.

Poor kids.

All of these questions!

So I'm really sympathetic to mothers who find themselves in hard times with children but I have nothing but criticism towards people who are already in a poor position and then think ooh let's bring a child into the world that's going to be deprived of a decent upbringing. Who brings kids into a bloody house share!?

Why are you both bringing more kids into the world when already struggling with current situation? No mention of the respective fathers. This is baffling to me.

The OP is not asking about how to get an absent dad to step up, she’s not given any details of her finances in this thread at least

Well we know she works, as she’s planning maternity leave and we know she is living with a friend, so has no ties to the property and we know she is struggling with a child in the house already.

OP has put herself in a poor position, hence the questions about the father and if there’s any chance he can help.

OP you would be better off seeking council accommodation, where ever that maybe and get yourself housed, at least you would have a secure tenancy, your friend can ask you to leave at anytime and you don’t have a leg to stand on.

You’re the one who went to hospital with reduced movements and got ‘told off’ by this woman with the child, aren’t you?

Those whole situation is fucked. You have to get out of it.

In 15 years time… this set up will no doubt be the focus of a disturbing Netflix documentary.

That sounds like a very unhealthy dynamic to bring another child into!

I think your main focus should be on finding an alternative home for you and your future child.

It doesn’t sound like Jodie should have another child, but this is the least of your problems.

@AmyCakeMaker sorry but where are the fathers of all the children or children to be??? Is this an extremely fertile house you are both living in? whose flat or house is it??

Who are you having a baby with? Why aren’t you living with him?
You can’t have babies and live in the same home as someone without ending up pretty much doing it together like some kind of commune/blended family. The kids will be raised like siblings; you can’t avoid that.

If you’ve planned a baby then it’s time to move out and go live with whoever you planned the baby with.

I read all the way through this thread wondering when somebody was going to ask this.

Providing a place to live in exchange for childcare isn't "taking advantage" of anyone, it's a simple and equitable transaction. As things change, of course, both parties may need to revisit it and see if it still suits them.

Glad it’s not just me! What the fuck is going on in this house?

Are you living there free in exchange for childcare. This is the kind of arrangement that could be great if you are both willing to help each other out. Does she help you at the moment in any way? Will she help you when the baby is born? Maybe how she treats you then might help determine whether or not you need to move out.

How have we got to a position in society where it’s considered good and feminist to use men for sperm and then declare there’s no need for them to be involved in a child’s life?

I’m all for not shaming women but the pendulum has now swung so far that we’re ignoring what’s best for a child.

I feel really old but wtf is going on these days?!

If other women find themselves unexpectedly pregnant then I don’t have an issue with taxpayers funding a reasonable level of benefits

Where does she say the pregnancy was ‘unexpected’? Sounds more like careless, hence my calling her and the fathers ‘feckless’.

I'm struggling to get my head around this op, why are you both living together but having children without partner involvement etc?? I must say I've never heard of anyone having that set up. Did you plan on being a single parent? As it appears your concerns would have been better to be brought up with your housemate before you got pregnant yourself, let alone the fact she also wants to get pregnant again?! Very odd

Flatmate needs to choose a dorm donor willing to support her and child so she can’t have his help … or money.

Relying on you is foolish for both of you. Unless she pays you. And you agree terms.

What “feckless lot” are you talking about precisely? And how would “shaming” them help either the mother or the child?

The OP here seems to be in a private rental and mentions maternity leave, so I’ve assumed she’s working. If other women find themselves unexpectedly pregnant then I don’t have an issue with taxpayers funding a reasonable level of benefits so that they don’t end up on the streets, are forced into unsafe living arrangements or have to give up their child.

Absobloodylutely!
It is not unreasonable to believe men should be equally responsible for the children they father.

I'm not going to sing some sisters are doing it for themselves bullshit when there's men out there not supporting their children.

Are there any dads here? Or are you and her both having babies as single mothers?