Acceptable time for friends to come round at weekend

This is really weird. I wouldn't let my dc go over to anyone's house at any time when 9 years old if not having talked to the parents first. Out of politeness but also for the sake of my dc (security reasons). I would call the parents/ stop by and say that their kid can't just come over without notice. Or if you're happy about him coming over you tell them that he's not allowed before 10/11 whatever works for you.

Do the parents ever invite your son over?
I think they are probably still in bed.

I don’t let mine go over to anyone’s before 9:30, but ours are all old enough to be independent and don’t need any supervision. We all also know that none of us are still it bed at that time for various reasons. We live rurally, so even if they knock, they all just go out and play outside in a field or in the woods or something, and aren’t any bother. But definitely not before 9:30.

I’d be fine with after 10. I’d tell him not to knock before then. If it’s bothering you mention to his mum. If they are at the play out age she may not realise he’s knocking on doors.

Tell the parents to look after their own child and stop kicking him out of the house with nowhere to go?

I don’t think you need to embarrass the child. I think you’re more likely to embarrass the child if the message goes to the parents. If your son likes the child, then it’s very easy for you to say to him ‘we like having you here, but can you not come before eg 10’ (or whatever time suits you)

I would be firm about this directly with the parents (not the child) and also wouldn’t be comfortable about being used as childcare. Send a text or drop them a note and be polite but clear. You enjoy relaxed mornings as a family and would prefer no guests until this x time.

It’s not the child’s fault, so I wouldn’t embarrass them at the door. No.

This happened to us a few years back. Sundays were always our stay in bed, with a cup of tea mornings, and our young son joined us. We’d chat and laugh, and after working 6 days, this was my Sunday sanctuary.

The neighbour over the road would allow her son to ring the bell continuously from 8am to call for my son to play.

on one occasion, after ignoring it for 40 minutes ( weeks previously I’d answered the door and told him we’re all in bed still and it’s too early) she phoned me to ask why I was ignoring her son, and why were we being so mean, when all he wanted was my son to play with him….

to say she got a mouthful is an understatement. Unfortunately, their friendship didn’t last as we were deemed ‘very mean people!’

some folk are weird !!

9 years old is perfectly old enough to understand “you can’t come in this early, come back later, after 11am”.

Yes I would wonder what is going on at home.

The acceptable time is whatever you choose, could be 9am could be 1pm, could be never.

Your house your rules.

Send him home again and tell him what time he can come. Personally I would find it really annoying him coming all the time. If you let him in, he will keep coming.

It’s not the child’s fault. It should be his parents teaching him that this isn’t appropriate. They want him out of the house and he’s following their lead.
It needs to be tackled through them.
A simple text asking them not to send him so early on the weekends should suffice.

As Pinepplewaves said early afternoon but only if we had no other plans. I agree you’re being used for weekend care.

Surprised at the responses here.

Turn away the 9yr old, at 8.30am Sunday, instead of get onto the parents and give them shit about booting their child over to your house.

It's the parents who need to be told, not the 9yr old.

my mind immediately goes to being a latchkey kid where no one gives a damn 🙄

You need to turn the child away, it’s a case of boundaries and have a conversation with the parents as this will clear the air hopefully, hope this helps.

After lunch would be a suitable time in our house. And only if we didn’t have any other plans.

I wouldn't have him turning up unannounced anymore. Text his parents to say they need text you first to check if it's okay for him to come round.

Yes, you're their free weekend childcare now.

I imagine his parents are enjoying a lie in whilst you look after their child for them. What’s the earliest time you would be happy with? If it’s 10am then I’d add an hour and message his parents that so you’ve got a bit of leeway. Also is it always at your house?

I’d text his mum and say “we have a slow morning at the weekends, so please don’t send Tom round until 10am at the earliest, we are not ready to see him” then I would forbid the kids answering the door. YANBU

Just turn him away at the door. You need to nip this in the bud of you’ll have this all summer. He’s probably an early riser and been up for 3 hrs already!
“Sorry we are busy at the moment and DS won’t be able to play until 11am. You’re welcome come back then if you want”

Surely, when he’s at the door asking to come in you say “not right now, you can come over at 11/whatever time you’re happy with” or you say “not today, we’re having a quiet day, see you another time.” You don’t have to let them in!

I wouldn’t be answering the door at that time! You need to speak to the parents and put some boundaries in place, sounds like they’re taking the piss!

Do you invite him? Why does he come every weekend?