Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is extremely odd thinking of my chum? Cheeky fucker alert.

66 replies

Cheekyarsechum · 23/03/2025 07:43

My DFriend 5 children have nearly all left home and they're looking to downside by selling and moving to a smaller property.

They want to give their home a good lick of paint and replace the bathrooms, convert an out building to a home office and a secondary outbuilding to a sauna and steam room (they already have a lovely pool) to maximize the value.

DH and I are currently working and sorting out some family admin in our home country for 6 months and have left our 2 DD happily at home (1 at a local university, 1 working casually on a gap year prior to traveling in the summer).

DF's father works in construction and will project manage the work and has recommended 2 excellent young men to do the 8-12 week work on their property. They lodge wherever the work is.

I'm over for a short weekend and met her for coffee yesterday, she's asked if these two lads can lodge at ours (we have 2 spare rooms) while the work is carried out.

I think my face told her how bonkers I thought her request was, but I kinda stuttered and said it wouldn't work for us, and why don't they stay in one of their spare bedrooms? Apparently her older left home DC don't want strangers in their childhood rooms, and she doesn't really want to have to have to engage with strangers in her own home.

AIBU to this a most ludicrous unthought-through request?

OP posts:
SunshineAndFizz · 24/03/2025 12:44

Crazy idea.

And let’s be honest, if she can afford a pool and to add a sauna etc she can foot the bill for a b&b for them.

Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:43

PinkFrogss · 23/03/2025 08:55

It all sounds a bit dodgy. Where do they live between work, and why can’t they live there during work?

I’ll definitely be told I’m being dramatic for this, and I probably am, but I’d be worried there’s some sort of exploitation going on.

They tend to head back to their country (Eastern Europe) to see family in any lulls between jobs.

The nature of construction (her FIL's firm is shopfitting) is you finish a job, you head to the next location. They travel all over the country usually lodging in B&Bs or Travelodges etc

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:40

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 23/03/2025 08:08

They can stay in a local B&B as they would do usually. This about your friend saving money on her project. It'll be cheaper to pay you than pay commercial accommodation rates plus a per diem for the two workers.

Your CF DF is probably going to waste money doing up her house if she intends to sell and downsize. If it's an expensive property it will be more attractive with an outbuilding ripe for conversion than a sauna (unless the house is in Finland) and a dated but functional bathroom someone can change to their taste is more sustainable than putting in something more modern which may not be to a buyer's taste.

Edited

Yes I thought investing in big renovations is a bit daft, walloping the walls to make it fresh makes sense to me, a big declutter but that's about it. I think she's living in a bit of a fantasy world where she thinks this will add value.

OP posts:
TheCountofMountingCrispBags · 24/03/2025 12:39

... to a sauna and steam room (they already have a lovely pool) to maximize the value.
Adding a sauna and steam room just makes it tacky rather than adding value.

Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:37

SwoozieSuuu · 23/03/2025 07:58

Am I the only one thinking that the whole situation is bonkers? ‘They lodge wherever the work is’ - surely not in the actual property normally? I can think of nothing worse than having building work done and having to put the builders up in my home and talk to them all evening too? What happens if something goes wrong? So I don’t blame your friend trying to offload then to you - as it’s your FiL’s firm maybe she thought you knew the men? Or maybe she didn’t realise your DC were at home? Not worth falling out over though!

It's her FIL's firm!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:37

Whitelight25 · 23/03/2025 07:56

It wasn’t a well thought out request but not cheeky fuckery. She might think you could do with the money and that being two rather than one young woman alone, your DDs could cope with male lodgers more easily. Also they would be out all day. You’ve said no, just move on now.

Edited

We don't need the money, so that wasn't part of the equation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:36

GabriellaMontez · 23/03/2025 07:48

She wanted to move 2 unknown men into your house with your daughters??

Absolute cf. And yes , it's unreasonable to even ask.

Indeed. 2 strangers with 2 young women, no parents.

I just can't believe she considered it thoroughly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheekyarsechum · 24/03/2025 12:35

BlondiePortz · 23/03/2025 07:48

I would say no and move on, it doesn't have to be something out of a soap

Hmm. I said no, and have moved on. Just using litmus of MN.

OP posts:
TheCurious0range · 23/03/2025 11:32

SwoozieSuuu · 23/03/2025 10:41

@FortyElephants and @TheCurious0range I would think lodging nearby in AirBnB etc is quite normal but in the OP’s post she said her friend asked as she didn’t want the workers in her spare bedrooms 🤷‍♀️

That's bizarre but the comment I replied to indicated lodging in the area where the work is was unusual

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 23/03/2025 10:41

Is a sauna not one of those things that make a house less attractive? Or at a minimum you will never get your money back?

Your friend is nuts.

SwoozieSuuu · 23/03/2025 10:41

@FortyElephants and @TheCurious0range I would think lodging nearby in AirBnB etc is quite normal but in the OP’s post she said her friend asked as she didn’t want the workers in her spare bedrooms 🤷‍♀️

Rivertrudge · 23/03/2025 10:39

I don’t see how it was unreasonable. She asked, you said no, end of issue.

She knew your house had spare space while you are away and might have thought your DCs would welcome the extra money. I expect she thought "no harm in asking". It would only have been cfery if it was asked as a favour with no payment offered.

KrisAkabusi · 23/03/2025 10:30

A cheeky fucker would assume you would keep them. She just asked a question and you declined. Nothing cheeky about it.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 23/03/2025 09:50

It seems a reasonable request to me. Some people might welcome extra company in the house or some extra income from temporary paying guests. You aren't one of those people so said no.

sSssssssssssssOOO · 23/03/2025 09:37

I don’t think there was anything wrong with asking. You might not have minded at all. She is have the same ‘unknown males’ in her own home so not sure why it’s outrageous to think you could have them in yours if you wanted some extra cash.
I live somewhere where plenty of wealthy people let random unknown people (presumably some are male) stay in their houses while there is a big event in town.

PinkFrogss · 23/03/2025 08:55

It all sounds a bit dodgy. Where do they live between work, and why can’t they live there during work?

I’ll definitely be told I’m being dramatic for this, and I probably am, but I’d be worried there’s some sort of exploitation going on.

Nacknick · 23/03/2025 08:50

I voted YABU but only because you can just say no 🤷‍♀️

FortyElephants · 23/03/2025 08:45

SwoozieSuuu · 23/03/2025 07:58

Am I the only one thinking that the whole situation is bonkers? ‘They lodge wherever the work is’ - surely not in the actual property normally? I can think of nothing worse than having building work done and having to put the builders up in my home and talk to them all evening too? What happens if something goes wrong? So I don’t blame your friend trying to offload then to you - as it’s your FiL’s firm maybe she thought you knew the men? Or maybe she didn’t realise your DC were at home? Not worth falling out over though!

It doesn't mean they lodge in the property they are working on - but in digs nearby. I often have people in my Airbnb for a few weeks at a time as they are working in the area.

DenholmElliot11 · 23/03/2025 08:37

Not cheeky no. She knows you're not living there. She asked if you wanted to rent out any rooms. I don't see what the problem is personally.

Annascaul · 23/03/2025 08:34

BlondiePortz · 23/03/2025 07:48

I would say no and move on, it doesn't have to be something out of a soap

Yes. No need to make a drama out of a crisis, op.

TheCurious0range · 23/03/2025 08:32

SwoozieSuuu · 23/03/2025 07:58

Am I the only one thinking that the whole situation is bonkers? ‘They lodge wherever the work is’ - surely not in the actual property normally? I can think of nothing worse than having building work done and having to put the builders up in my home and talk to them all evening too? What happens if something goes wrong? So I don’t blame your friend trying to offload then to you - as it’s your FiL’s firm maybe she thought you knew the men? Or maybe she didn’t realise your DC were at home? Not worth falling out over though!

My aunt lives alone and travels a lot for work, she air bnbs her home to contractors, she prefers it to tourist type bookers because they are there short term usually only Monday to Friday, not having parties etc, come home from work cook dinner watch TV, go to bed get up early. It's usually the company she deals with rather than the contractors who will be living there. It's not uncommon.

Thisbastardcomputer · 23/03/2025 08:16

I love a CF thread, watching with interest, but you aren’t being unreasonable

WhatAPrettyHouse · 23/03/2025 08:11

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 23/03/2025 08:08

They can stay in a local B&B as they would do usually. This about your friend saving money on her project. It'll be cheaper to pay you than pay commercial accommodation rates plus a per diem for the two workers.

Your CF DF is probably going to waste money doing up her house if she intends to sell and downsize. If it's an expensive property it will be more attractive with an outbuilding ripe for conversion than a sauna (unless the house is in Finland) and a dated but functional bathroom someone can change to their taste is more sustainable than putting in something more modern which may not be to a buyer's taste.

Edited

I agree.

This is usually the advice given, you won't make the money back on the sale.

TheUsualChaos · 23/03/2025 08:11

So she doesn't want the intrusion of two men staying her home but thinks it's fine to expect your DDs to live with them when you and DH aren't even at home ATM? Thoughtless and CF in my opinion.

Needtosoundoffandbreathe · 23/03/2025 08:08

They can stay in a local B&B as they would do usually. This about your friend saving money on her project. It'll be cheaper to pay you than pay commercial accommodation rates plus a per diem for the two workers.

Your CF DF is probably going to waste money doing up her house if she intends to sell and downsize. If it's an expensive property it will be more attractive with an outbuilding ripe for conversion than a sauna (unless the house is in Finland) and a dated but functional bathroom someone can change to their taste is more sustainable than putting in something more modern which may not be to a buyer's taste.

Swipe left for the next trending thread