To think we shouldn't use the word "naughty" with a 2 year old?

our shoes away neatly so we know where to find them and not trip over them'
Than ' omg stop leaving shoes about its naughty'
Soon your child will always put shoes away because that is what you do
But things like not putting g shoes away isn't really naughty though and a gentler style of parenting would be appropriate there.
However for more serious issues i believe the behaviour should be called for what it is and if its naughty use that word. Likewise when a child has done well it needs positive praise without going over the top as I see some parents do for the mist mundane of things.

😄😄😄😄😄

Yes. It's a lot easier to understand ' let's put our shoes away neatly so we know where to find them and not trip over them'

Than ' omg stop leaving shoes about its naughty'

Soon your child will always put shoes away because that is what you do.

Exactly. Telling a two year old they are being naughty or calling them naughty when they are being naughty is not going to wound them for life and they certainly won't appreciate the nuance between them being naughty vs a behaviour being naughty. So much overthinking by parents these days. I have a toddler but I'm firmly of the belief that discipline and boundaries are important and I'm not going to spend time obsessing over how best to word it or use this 'kind hands' bs instead of a simple 'no' to protect my toddler's self esteem. People these days criticise boomer parenting but the generation that was raised by boomers is a lot more resilient than the current generation of kids and young adults in my experience.

Yes, absolutely.

Some good points.

You say children should get a chance to turn over a new leaf and re-invent yourself.

Yes. I agree. They need to know the starting point for that otherwise they won't change.

The parents need to know too.

I was disagreeing with a person who happens to be a teacher on a public forum, is that not allowed?

But I'm not talking about wishy-washy discipline or restorative justice. I think that's all bollocks tbh. I think bad behaviour should be dealt with quickly and very firmly. In secondary school - detentions, isolations, permanent exclusions, the lot. But none of that means that kids should be told they are a naughty child. It risks becoming a self-fulfilling thing. If you do a bad thing, you take the consequences. But when you have done so, you get a chance to turn over a new leaf and re-invent yourself (after your detention, report card, managed move etc). Otherwise what's the point?

I tried to avoid naughty because it's a bit empty and meaningless, it's like a "because I said so".

"We don't say that, it isn't kind".
"We don't rip books / break toys, that isn't fair on people who want to use them".
"We don't pick our nose at the dinner table, that would make people feel sick while they're eating their dinner!".

If they question "why?", that isn't a bad thing - you've caught their attention and diverted them away from the thing they're doing.

Redirect and a clear reason NOT to do something worked really well for mine.

lol.
The making choices thing is also bs for a toddler.
They understand very short,simple sentences.
Waffling on about choices goes in one ear and out the other.
If they did understand then a 2 year old's idea of a choice isn't usually a good one!

You were criticising a teacher and implying she didn’t know much.
Maybe if you’d listened to teachers who know more than you do you wouldn’t still be writing like a 6 year old.

Oh no hit me where it hurts my grammar 🤣🤣

@AllProperTeaIsTheft
That all sounds great but I've seen it fail in many schools (it often gets called restorative justice).

The children who behave badly don't get rehabilitated, they just carry on. The children on the receiving end of the bullying don't get justice and have to carry on being bullied.

The bad behaviour of the difficult children becomes more embedded in their nature as they never face unpleasant consequences for their actions.

Look at the posts today on MN talking about sexual assault in primary schools and the issues highlighted in the Adolescents TV programme.

Things ARE getting worse and, it's my belief, this is in part due to the lack of adequate, proportional consequences for naughty children.

Not making good choices.

Don't you think 'not making good choices' is a bit of an advanced, non-specific concept and choice of vocab for a two year-old though? I'd be going with 'You hurt that little girl. It's bad to hurt people. ' or similar, depending on what they'd done.

I am also pretty certain that if anyone's child was on the receiving end of bullying, they would not be saying it's not the child that's bad it's their behavior that's bad, they would just say that that child is a bully.

Yep, that's why we don't let victims decide the sentence of criminals. As a school, or indeed a society, it is generally in our interest to rehabilitate people who do things wrong, rather than consign them to the naughty scrapheap.

If a child regularly does kind things that child is kind.
If a child regularly those sporty things that child is sporty.
If a child regularly does funny things that child is funny.
And if a child regularly does naughty things that child is... well you can work it out for yourself I'm sure.

And you don't think children change (from one week to the next sometimes, when they are little)? And you think it's a good idea to treat them as though they can't and won't change? The kid who's sporty doesn't necessarily stay sporty. The child who isn't sporty might get into sport, though probably less likely if they've been told 'You're not...'... well, you can work it out for yourself I'm sure.

What would you think if a teacher persistently said to your child 'You're not sporty' and made it clear they expected nothing much of them in PE lessons?

Not making good choices.

2 year olds are not naughty. Not ever. They are immature and making decisions in line eoth their development and the examples they are set.

I haven't read all the replied, but wanted to point you in the direction of The Centre For Emotional Health
https://www.centreforemotionalhealth.org.uk/more-information/for-families/

At 2 years old developmentally she is recognising she is independent from you as parents and will push boundaries. A problem with calling out the behaviour is that it gets attention- and any attention is attention - flip it and be specific with praise for the behaviour you want.

You and your husband need to agree together what is non- negotiable behaviour where consequences will be put in place. In other situations you might find that distraction and giving simple choices will stop the 'naughty' behaviour

I don’t use ‘naughty’ as I’d never call an adult naughty. So we either call it what it is, the same as you would an adult ‘that was a bit rude’ ‘that was a bit cheeky’, or we describe why we don’t do something.
‘we don’t rip books because we can’t read them if we do’
If DD then rips the book, we will keep it in circulation to prove the point that she now can’t read that book/doesn’t enjoy it as much. Seems to work for our two year old.

If a child regularly does kind things that child is kind.
If a child regularly those sporty things that child is sporty.
If a child regularly does funny things that child is funny.
And if a child regularly does naughty things that child is... well you can work it out for yourself I'm sure.

Denying this is doing those kids no favours whatsoever.

I am also pretty certain that if anyone's child was on the receiving end of bullying, they would not be saying it's not the child that's bad it's their behavior that's bad, they would just say that that child is a bully.

Actually, I'm not sure the words are interchangeable. Personally I always hated the term "naughty"; there is something about it that implies the child is somehow being deliberately difficult or willful, and doesn't actually help explain to the child why their behaviour is wrong. It isn't a word we use to describe adult behaviour, so why do we use it for children?

I never, ever used the word myself for any of my DC - I told them that their behaviour was dangerous/unkind/inconsiderate etc as appropriate, and dealt with it as the situation required. I had rock solid boundaries and my DC are now teens/young adults and extremely well mannered. I absolutely disagree that not telling children they are naughty is what has led to declining standards of behaviour.

Telling children "no" and "don't do something" is passive they need to be told what positive action to do. I've said (firmly and clearly) to my children "walking" when they were running around a pool and every single person that was running at that time has started walking :)

Redirect unwanted behaviour into the behaviour you want to see.

They are kind, respectful, hard working lads who don't drink or smoke.

I find it so bizarre on threads like this where people like to point out their angel kids don't drink or smoke. It's totally irrelevant - it doesn't make them better people or you a better parent 🙄

I have three boys ranging in age fro 16 to 23. I never told them they were naughty, we had a no smacking policy. I was known as a firm, strict parent, held a united front with school etc. My boys don't help out around the house as much as I'd like but that. is, genuinely, the worst thing I could say about them. They are kind, respectful, hard working lads who don't drink or smoke.

Children don't need to be labelled "naughty" it impacts their self esteem, we all make mistakes and just because we do something wrong it doesn't define our whole being.

I was replying to the OP, not you, and the OP is concerned about the use of the word naughty full stop.