Please, please, please put away your phones...

Yep, exactly this.

My son is 5 now and yeah I'd have a quick scroll when out and about while he chilled in his buggy for 5 minutes between running about or chattering and Yes I'm posting now while he watches scooby doo before we go out, but when he gets restless or just wants to show me something or whatever, I stop and engage, put phone away etc and always have.

And before anyone comes at me with "what about ones who don't rest/Sen/tired parents with no support etc" - I did lockdown with a baby/toddler who never slept (since discovered he has additional needs)

It's not that hard to engage with your kids.

also absolutely true that kids growing up seeing adults on phones crave a phone.

we are tool using animals. Children evolve to watch and 'do' what adults around them do. See adults using phone - phone must be most important thing to 'master'

I agree, also.

Anyone excusing this by saying parents have had a busy day - this excuse needs to end. Absolutely nobody needs to scroll social media on a train or tube - it's not a 'need' or a human right.

And yes I have been a shit parent many times - I can still openly admit this.

This is an excuse tech has invented for us.

If the parent was reading a book and ignoring their child or baby it would be JUST as rude - but you know what - nobody does that because books ar enot as addictive and you don't see people ignoring children who are actively trying to speak to them for any other reason.

and another point on screens - they are replacing reading etc which is also a way to help kids relax/ keep them busy (how I would have been distracted as a child in a restaurant)

I went on a very expensive AI holiday last summer - I was shocked at the screen use by kids and teens. By the way there is no need for parents to be 'tired' of parenting here - there was an incredible all day child care set up with full activities, every child was in some sort of group.

Yet I did not ONCE see a child reading a book - in a week. On the last day I saw a boy with a book and actuallywent over and complimented his mother!!

every child or teen I saw at meals/ relaxing had their nose in a screen.

and btw. I have a SEN child so I KNOW how hard it is sometimes - but this does not explain the ubiquity of screens to keep kids busy.

To those that are guilty of this, one day you will long for these days back again and by then it will be too late and you'll be wondering why your kids need so much therapy.

I think they'll be wondering why their kids also have very little to do with them after they leave home.

Totally agree with OP.
This lack of interaction with children at these crucial early stages in life will have profound consequences for the child and society as a whole.

Why more and more present at primary unable to interact concentrate and not
potty trained

As a point of comparison, global tobacco is worth 1 trillion, while Apple alone is worth 3 trillion. And Apple is just one company among thousands of tech companies which are happy for us to be gawping at a screen all day. In fact much more than just happy - their profits insist it. But unlike smoking, governments are totally complacent toward the grip big tech has over our lives. As long as we remain functioning economic units, they couldn’t give a shit if we are all zombified both in and out of the office.

This is the main issue. Phones and the algorithms are designed to be addictive for a reason. Just like tobacco and smoking the power the tech and social media companies industry has is huge. We as individuals need to be more vigilant and take responsibility especially when it comes to our children.

Ah, i wouldn’t let it worry you OP - 6 months time the baby will most likely have their own phone when the parents upgrade theirs…

seriously though - there was a bit on Radio 4 recently how damaging smart phones are to kids and how the expert thought they should be banned for under 16’s. Sad times indeed.

Totally agree OP, this is why kids have lost the art of conversation, give@take , won’t take no for an answer ( scream = iPad) no imagination for writing stories, have to be spoon fed information, can’t think for themselves ( sorry I’m ranting)

I agree. I was at a cafe last summer with outside tables. On one table sat three grown ups, and one child (aged about 2-3, I’d guess). All three of the adults were scrolling on their phones. Not one of them was engaging with the child in any way. Poor child had no one to talk to and was just sat there. It made me feel so sad and honestly, has really stuck with me what a disaster smart phones have become to society. Yes they are useful, and I’m happy to scroll through crap too, but there’s a time and a place.

I saw a mum once crossing the road, looking at her phone and pushing a stroller with a baby in at the same time.

It was a pedestrian crossing, but she didn't even look up.

People are too distracted by their phones.

Never mind that the phone snatching thieves are on the prowl.

I agree OP. I’m presuming the rise in children having speech and language difficulties when they start school has some correlation with this. It’s so sad. I also hate seeing kids in buggies and in shopping trolleys staring at screens. They’re so little. My kids are late primary and early teens and this just wasn’t a thing when they were toddlers. Or it was rare. But now it’s the norm and socially acceptable, in some circles at least.

I do understand how difficult it must be now to not be distracted by your phone but saying it’s mum / parent shaming is really unhelpful when the emotional and social needs and health of young children are at stake here.

I no longer go out for dinner in restaurants when there are children there because it makes me want to cry at them all on screens. Lots don’t even make it into a high hair anymore. Just sat in their pushchairs with a phone. It depresses me so much I just don’t go anymore!

And it teaches kids that doom scrolling is normal.

When I was a child (60s) we had a small black and white TV but it only showed programs in the evening, not during the day, so there was no plonking me down in front of it. Instead I used to go play with my toys, or go outside to play if it was fine.

Both my teens and their mates voluntarily use the fauna app for revision, it blocks your phone and rewards you for doing so. They would struggle to revise otherwise. It’s insane where we are with this.

Were you up interacting with your child at close to midnight each day? I don't think we can judge a parent by their behaviour at 11pm. So many posters are comparing this interaction to parents they see in the daytime, at the playpark etc. As some posters have said, I would stroke my child's head but for other DC this can be enough to start the process all over again.

I agree. I really want to get off my phone more and be present but I literally don't know how when everything is via the phone nowadays. Banking, emails, messaging people, shopping, apps for work, booking doctors appointments, nursery app for my child, my calendar, to do list, maps for directions, checking bus times, utility bills, listening to music, ring doorbell app. I don't use social media much and read Mumsnet a bit, but I still find myself on the phone a lot because I'm always busy doing something on it.

I would be looking to tell the baby's parents .

Summary is that modern technology is de-skilling society at large (collectively) in every way possible.

Reduced communication skills
Reduced social skills, eg conducting meaningful friendships, 1000 "friends"
devaluing relationship, courtship, swipe-left, next please mentality
sexual connections, porn addictions starting in adolescence
lower attention span
AI compromising the ability to think through problems.

having been in IT all my career, Im not against technology but seeing the way it is being used, put in the hands of people with zero warnings or education about the dangers until it's too late, is all so bloody depressing.

How the fuck did I get through raising 7 kids without a bloody phone telling me what I needed to do in life and a fucking app reminding me to breathe?
They all grew up and none are in fucking therapy.

I drive past a school on my way home and I'd say 95% of the parents are on phones - completely ignoring their kids that they've not seen all day. I used to love walking mine home, them chattering about their day and what they wanted to do at home. The damage that parents are inflicting onto their kids these days is appalling and society will pay the price in 20 years time.

I was sat on the bus the other day and a mum and daughter got on and sat behind me. I was expecting them to get the phone out but they didn’t. They spent the journey looking out the window and chatting about what they could see. The fact that I was so shocked by it says a lot about where we are now

Let's face it, the parents' behaviour is what normalises mobile phone usage, so by the time the child is 8-9 years old, they already pick up that their parent having their face welded to their screen is the norm and the way things need to be, so it perpetuates the next generation's behaviours.

Before the era of mobile phone usage, the alternative was to plonk kids in front of the TV to keep them quiet. The difference is that when they were out shopping, the TV stayed in the home and kids then had the chance to interact a lot more.