Please, please, please put away your phones...

Exactly. That’s why many schools have banned phones at pick up times because so many parents were looking at their phones and ignoring their children when they came out.

If you were sitting on the tube late at night off your face on Valium and were not giving your child the attention they were desperately asking for, you would be called out and JUDGED.

The problem is, the makers of all these apps and these websites (this one is a good example) are very good at getting us hooked on interacting with their content. So many of us are effectively addicted to our phones

Some of the makers of these apps are in a documentary on Netflix, The Social Dilemma. Every one of them said they don't allow their kids to have smart phones, I would urge everyone to watch this, it's fucking terrifying where we're heading.

you can install the Forest app and set times for it, and it also plants real life trees the more time you spend off your phone

And today instead of substituting it, you can just add it.

Or at least Sertraline and Citalopram etc so I'm not sure what your point is?

I agree. My kids are grown now but I know I probably would’ve been like this if smartphones were a thing in the 00’s.

I’d love to be able to make my phone a ‘dumb’ phone for set times. I’d probably sleep a lot better if I couldn’t ’just nip on my phone’ to check something then end up unconsciously scrolling for ages.

Its definitely an issue.

I used to work in a paediatric assessment centre and parents would bring their children for speech therapy, autism assessment appts, hearing loss etc and we would sit and watch 90% of these parents sitting in the waiting room on their phone ignoring their children. Sometimes the kids would be trying to get their parents attention but failing and it was really sad.

The therapists used to get really upset about the kids who had great potential to learn new skills but their parents just didn’t give them enough attention. The little ones would at least get a better chance when they went to school but more than one parent would be kicking up a fuss about not enough support whilst having not done any of the homework set by the therapists to try to help their children. Not all parents, some were amazing and very engaged. But this used to bother all of us

Has it occurred to you that all of those things existed before and we just....didn't know?

I have relatives that are 100% autistic but are of the age that kids weren't assessed for anything routinely. They were just naughty or different.

DH definitely has ADHD. But he was just considered "naughty" or "wild".

We have more knowledge now. You can't say that screen use or vaccinations or any of the other ridiculous connections people have made cause these things. We are just more aware of differences.

It is heartbreaking to see. I agree wholeheartedly. These children will grow up with serious mental health problems, there’s no two ways about it.

I don't have kids so I can spend more time on my phone 😂

Be honest, if you do this, you prefer your phone to your child. The proof is right there.

Do you think autism is caused by a parent on a phone?

I think it has a significant and lasting impact on language development, on well being and mental health and on communication.

^

Exactly.

I don't think it's doing the parent want favours either!!

Well in our grandparents' generation you could substitute 'technology' for 'valium'.

Agreed with the op 100%

We have record levels of autistic/speech disordered/numerical problems with kids today, and we wonder why!!

Which is an example of how nowadays parents can't cope without technology.

If your child was trying to get your attention and you ignored them = same thing
If your child was lying in pram quietly, not looking to get your attention and sleepy = not the same thing.

I agree but it was midnight. I don't know the circumstances but those parents might have been switching off for ages first time that day. I've seen worse parenting without phones involved.

'I've seen worse parenting' really isn't where we should be setting the bar.

It was 11pm and no matter what sort of day they'd had, scrolling their phone was not so important they had to ignore their baby desperately trying to get their attention for half an hour.

I agree but it was midnight. I don't know the circumstances but those parents might have been switching off for ages first time that day. I've seen worse parenting without phones involved.

In the 80's my mum was either talking on the phone or reading a magazine. I didn't get 24/7 attention. Maybe we are demonising phones in that sense.

However, you definitely have a point. I think it's hard to ignore a baby to the same level with a magazine. Phones are addictive and it's mainly social media and ironically sites like this.

That's very sad. Parents shouldn't be looking at phones at the expense of their child, and young children should definitly not be having phones instead of interacting with the world!
When my DC were young I'd pop on a bit of Cbeebies when they were up at stupid o clock or at the 'witching hour', and we'd sometimes look at the Cbeebies website together on the laptop, smartphones didnt' exist then.

Lol, ok then 🤣

She looked at me blank and then said oh I didn’t see the rain. Then she moved the baby under the canopy/porch. If that was my DC I would have gone crazy

Not always the case, many parents still put their phones before their kids, there is evidence everywhere you go. Not everyone is taking an important call or sending urgent texts.
Why do some parents have kids just to ignore them by giving them a screen so often?
Some people shouldn't have the smallest pet to care for let alone a child.

I had my arse handed to me on this forum some time ago, when I dared to suggest that mothers and/or fathers, walking along pushing a push chair with one hand whilst engrossed in a phone, was ignoring their child and not good for communication. It was suggested that the reason they were on their phones so constantly was that there was an emergency/ banking/ shopping/ getting directions/ making an appointment and any one of a number of reasons why that was absolutely the right thing to do.

I really don't think those are reasons why people are on their phones, at least for the vast majority of the time. I think it has a significant and lasting impact on language development, on well being and mental health and on communication.

A little while ago, I saw a father with a young child pointing out the fire engine that drove down the street. The boy was excited and waved at the fire engine. A short time later, it came back up the street and the driver sounded the horn for the little boy, who jumped up and down, waving madly. A small, but significant interaction and an experience for that child. It also brought back memories of the times I would point out birds, flowers, cars, trees, insects, animals on our walks or just on our way to the shops.

Of course the world changes and we can’t go back to earlier times, but it seems we are raising generations of people unable to communicate, acquire basic skills, achieve independence, have robust mental health and show consideration and empathy.