Please, please, please put away your phones...

It is absolutely heartbreaking 💔 but sadly there seems to be so many parents like that. In A and E a baby was clearly in distress/pain and the parents were too 'busy' scrolling on their mobile phones to give baby some comfort. It breaks my heart that such people are allowed to be parents 💔

Tough fuckin shit, If they can't cope with a hell of a day and are that knackered they can't acknowledge the child they brought into this world the need to grow the hell up and make sure they have no more children. Stop making excuses for crap people being crap parents. This is the reason why our society has gone to the dogs, people being excused for their appalling behaviour instead of being told they are a disgrace.

What a complete idiot you are, toxic? I think it’s you that’s toxic. God help any child you have if you think it’s ok to ignore a young child trying desperately to get your attention! Talking about parents looking doe eyed at their baby, yes actually a lot of people do because it’s our precious child not an accessory to be shoved to one side when we feel like it. Maybe put your phone down and look at your children, you never know, you might find them more interesting than the phone!

Absolutely agree with you, what kind of idiot writes a post like the one you replied to!

Regardless it’s not ok to ignore a baby, it’s not their fault. Grow up and take responsibility for a child you decided to bring into the world!

I completely agree, the number of people I see pushing prams looking at their phone walking along the street is staggering, almost walking in to people because they're not looking. I know someone who has 4 children, she sits on the sofa all day whilst she is at home looking at her phone, she even has her TV remote on her phone so she doesn't have to out it down. The children are like zombies looking at the TV all day, one has poor speech and doesn't form words properly, two don't talk at all and the new baby just lays on her until it needs feeding. She takes all the bottles in the lounge so she doesn't need to get off that sofa. The house is a dirty mess, it breaks my heart for those children.

I saw an even sadder picture
Not only were the child's parents/caregivers sat eating their meals whilst totally engrossed in their phones the baby (around 9 month old ish) had a screen all of its own propped up in the high chair
So very sad

Hear hear!!

It was 11pm. How can the child go to sleep if the parent is chatting away to them?

Leaving a child to go to sleep isn't neglect. The child wasn't even upset.

If this was someone you actually knew and this was a pattern of behaviour then I'd take you seriously and agree with you. You have seen a tiny snapshot of these peoples lives and made up your narrative. Well, let me make up mine;

They had not long left the hospital where their older child had died after a tragic accident at school, they were trying to hold it together long enough to get home so they didn't terrify their toddler by letting her see their torrent of grief, scrolling at a fashion website didn't take any mental energy and was a numbing thing to do so as not to feel the utter loss right at that moment. Looking at the toddler who is the double of their older sibling was so painful they needed a minute before they could focus on her and getting her fed and loved and into bed so they could fall apart.

Now ok, your take on it is probably more likely than mine but the fact is neither you or I know what the truth is so even though this is an anonymous forum and I highly doubt the parents in question would say hey this post is about us if they saw it, please think twice about shaming people when you have no idea what their story is.

I support your message about being more present for our DC and I know I'm guilty of it at times but there's ways to get this message across without making up a narrative and attempting to shame people you've only shared oxygen with for a short journey and not even had a conversation with.

Maybe next time you come across this you could start a conversation with the parent about how your kids were at that age, how pretty something the child is wearing is and asking where is it from, just something none judgemental. If it is a struggling parent needing a minute to themselves by scrolling, a conversation could help and if it is a lazy parent then at least you'll know and can speak up directly too them about how children need us to be more present

Seen it so many times. Also very small children engrossed in phone and all hell breaks loose if it's removed. Am I judgey? Probably. Don't care. I saw a comment on the thread about thoughtlessness that they would rather see a child 'enjoying themselves than sitting quietly'. Therein is the problem. Adults unaware that children survive being, gasp, bored.

Totally agree OP. The first step in protecting children from the huge damage smart phones can inflict is for parents to stop staring at theirs the whole time.

At that age DC reached out for me, then it was both of us.

Not read full thread but I agree. To me, it's no different to leaving a baby alone and crying in a cot ignoring it (and I'm not talking about sleep training, I'm talking about just neglect)

It IS a form of neglect, no two ways about it. Because a child's brain at that age NEEDS appropriate responses from parents when he/she tries to interact with them. If they get ignored they learn to withdraw. Awful, awful, awful.

It's clear that OP had noticed what they were scrolling on. This isn't a desperate parent answering a whatsapp or text from their own parent ill in hospital or struggling with dementia at home. This was a parent selfishly scrolling a fashion website. That they could have done when the child was asleep. It's emotional neglect, pure and simple, and that is one of the definitions of abuse. If anyone recognises themselves then do better.

@BevPD "The majority of the time it is purely down to poor parenting and poor communication from an early age".

I can't say for sure that deficits in language and social skills are due to those two factors as I haven't done the research but I agree they must contribute.

A little girl, around 2 years old, was on my train the other day and trying to communicate with her dad, who was staring at his phone. Without looking at her he repeated "train yeah, train" over and over again. Yet another wasted opportunity to engage with and teach one's child, among so many examples on this thread.

Unfortunately see it all too often everywhere! Sad sign of the times with some families. Yep, just put your bloody phone away, especially if just scrolling, never have it out when crossing roads, basic common sense. Be aware of your surroundings because that one moment something bad may happen is because you haven't observed so blame others!

So sad, it really is. Xxx

Agree 100%. It makes me so sad when I see this.

Call me unkind or judgemental, but one of my saddest memories which replays constantly in my mind just like a film:
Christmas morning, on the beach in The Canary Islands, little boy, aged around 3, just unpacked his gift, an orange JCB mini-digger, and he is digging excitedly in the sand, inches from the calm sea, a joyful scene etched forever in my memory.

Young English Mum is sitting a distance away, on her phone…..on and on and on, and never looks up…
Still feel sad.

Completely agree. So many children are starting school with very limited or delayed speech, language and social skills now. This can impact on their behaviour and ability to learn. Then they need to be assessed for a special educational need which is an added strain on teachers and other professionals. The majority of the time it is purely down to poor parenting and poor communication from an early age. Babies and toddlers are like sponges and soak up their environment and crave quality interactions with their care givers in order to learn and develop as expected. Have conversations with your children. Sing songs, make eye contact and smile. It's no wonder there are so many mental health issues these days. Yes, parents get tired, but if you are going to take on the responsibility of having a child, be prepared to put their needs first and enjoy watching them learn and develop!

Smart phone dumb users are a PITA with their gormlessness and inability to use a phone and walk in a straight line/through a doorway simultaneously. The thing about modern living is that we live in a very safe world which has been sanitised by regulation and a culture of minimising risk. People are not exposed to direct threats in the way they were eons ago in the hunter-gatherer days when people had to be constantly on alert for the threat of predators intent on killing/eating them. As a result, the instinct to be aware of one's surroundings has been eroded to the point where carelessness is not just normal, it is an entitlement and it is everyone elses responsibility to bend over backwards to accomodate careless behaviour. If carelessness was regularly met with bad consequeces i.e. pain, you would see a huge improvement in people paying attention and basic situational awareness would be universal.

Terrible parenting, but not at all surprising.

judge not, lest you be judged.
You saw a snap shot. You really don’t know what the rest of the day looked like. Previous generations would have left baby in the cot crying for hours. Mums now may zoned out and look on their phones. Are either ideal? No. Do most mums reach their limits sometimes? Absolutely.

I'm.not ignoring any children
.

Why not, where where they? Surely not asleep? Stop neglecting them! Wake them up and get that speech and language therapy in!