Please, please, please put away your phones...

@Twocheesychips I suggest you spend more time reading people's posts and what they have actually written, rather than getting all
excited about something they didn't say.

I hope you have a wonderful evening.

Just to be clear, I would totally judge a mother (or father) in A&E who were so emotionally immature that the only way they could stop themselves ‘going mad’ is by checking their emails whilst ignoring their sick child’s needs. I also judge posters who use the scenario of the death of a child to try and justify phone use as was done earlier in the thread.

In case anyone’s interested I also judge (in no specific order, list is not exhaustive) people who text whilst driving, drunk drivers, genocidal maniacs, abusive men (and women), people who are cruel to animals, bullies on mumsnet, the cheese / chips poster and the upsy daisy one. And I’m free to do so and free to express my opinions so please stop telling me otherwise. It’s ‘ironic’ that the judgiest posters / trolls on here are moaning about judging so loudly.

Oh, and by the way, our children judge us every day. They form opinions of us from many little snapshots, don’t for one second think that they don’t see who their parents really are.

What a horrible post

You were on top form through all of those occasions, a faultless mother? Wow. You're either lying or exemplary.

Imagine if during those life events someone decided you weren't doing enough and were infact, a disgrace that shouldnt have had children. Told you 'tough fucking shit, if you cant cope with your mother dying or your DC being ill then you shouldn't have had children.' Told you youre a 'fucking disgrace' would that be ok?

I don't agree personally, but as I'm sure you're aware, some people believe it is selfish to have DC with a partner in the forces, who can't be available for thier DC. So whilst youre judging someone, someone else is judging you for what you've chosen to put your DC through.

Just to be clear, I would totally judge a mother (or father) in A&E who were so emotionally immature that the only way they could stop themselves ‘going mad’ is by checking their emails whilst ignoring their sick child’s needs. I also judge posters who use the scenario of the death of a child to try and justify phone use as was done earlier in the thread.

In case anyone’s interested I also judge (in no specific order, list is not exhaustive) people who text whilst driving, drunk drivers, genocidal maniacs, abusive men (and women), people who are cruel to animals, bullies on mumsnet, the cheese / chips poster and the upsy daisy one. And I’m free to do so and free to express my opinions so please stop telling me otherwise. It’s ‘ironic’ that the judgiest posters / trolls on here are moaning about judging so loudly.

Oh, and by the way, our children judge us every day. They form opinions of us from many little snapshots, don’t for one second think that they don’t see who their parents really are.

Maybe mum and dad have had a hell of a day and are knackered. I know the snapshot you saw didn't look good. But I've learnt not to judge snapshots. You never know what the heck has gone on / is going on in people's lives...

Something horrendous ! i moved house 3 times to different areas of the country, my mother died, my child was very ill and my Husband had just been sent of to Gulf war one, all of that in 12 months ! Do you know what i did ? I looked after my children, just me, nobody there to take over because my mum had died, only me to deal with hospital appointments, it was left to me to calm my children as they missed their dad. It was down to me 24 hours a day to engage with my children, 7 days a week of swinging between grieving for my mother and being worried sick about my ill child and worrying my husband would be killed. That horrendous enough for you?

Why doesn't anyone on here seem to think keeping a child awake at 11pm is crap parenting? Why shouldn't a child be encouraged to sleep? The OP hasn't said the DC was upset. People scream neglect on this thread enough but we know sleep is important to development. Why does noone care about that?

WRT your other point, noone can be on their best every day. Some people go through truly traumatic circumstances. There is every chance that could have happened here. I don't believe if you'd been through something horrendous, you would really say that.

100% agree OP and I acknowledge that I need to do better with this too. I'm working on it.

Also, related to this, as another poster mentioned, please don't just hand your child a screen to distract them when you are going about your daily lives. On occasion it may be useful but it really shouldn't be the 'go to' option.

If this was someone you actually knew and this was a pattern of behaviour then I'd take you seriously and agree with you. You have seen a tiny snapshot of these peoples lives and made up your narrative. Well, let me make up mine;

They had not long left the hospital where their older child had died after a tragic accident at school, they were trying to hold it together long enough to get home so they didn't terrify their toddler by letting her see their torrent of grief, scrolling at a fashion website didn't take any mental energy and was a numbing thing to do so as not to feel the utter loss right at that moment. Looking at the toddler who is the double of their older sibling was so painful they needed a minute before they could focus on her and getting her fed and loved and into bed so they could fall apart.

Now ok, your take on it is probably more likely than mine but the fact is neither you or I know what the truth is so even though this is an anonymous forum and I highly doubt the parents in question would say hey this post is about us if they saw it, please think twice about shaming people when you have no idea what their story is.

I support your message about being more present for our DC and I know I'm guilty of it at times but there's ways to get this message across without making up a narrative and attempting to shame people you've only shared oxygen with for a short journey and not even had a conversation with.

Maybe next time you come across this you could start a conversation with the parent about how your kids were at that age, how pretty something the child is wearing is and asking where is it from, just something none judgemental. If it is a struggling parent needing a minute to themselves by scrolling, a conversation could help and if it is a lazy parent then at least you'll know and can speak up directly too them about how children need us to be more present

You have no idea tha context of what you saw. That's a few mins out of someone's life. Maybe they had got stuck somewhere and ended up travelling back late with their toddler.. exhausted and scrolling thru their phones to pass the time.
People can't stare doe eyed at their kids 24hrs a day. Ridiculous.
If you actually knew these people and saw that they were constantly on their phones then this is a fair enough statement.
But basically you've just looked at a couple of strangers and judged them so much based on very little info, that you've decided to make a social media post about it!
Personally I think this kind of mum shaming is even worse than parents being on their phones.
It's toxic.

I done this in a&e searching to try and find out what could be wrong with my daughter, I didn't even think at the time someone's probably looking at me thinking I'm a awful parent.

1. 'disgusting'? How so?
2. I think you've misunderstood the meaning of irony
3. I don't need to get validation or admiration from strangers on the internet thank you. The fact that you conclude that my reasons for posting were that (despite me making my reasons for posting clear) is quite telling

Ok, but why does distracting oneself mean scrolling on your phone?

Fuck me, the lengths people are going to on this thread to justify ignoring their children is amazing and are completely missing he point.

You think a child in distress knows you are looking at insta or trying to find answers as to what's wrong with them. The message is the same.. I want comfort but parent is ignoring me.

We are fucking doomed.