Please, please, please put away your phones...

I literally just wouldn’t so I can’t answer that
never have never would

Even mum's need a break.
Was the dad looking at some important manly content?

I think the "snapshot" argument is naive. Does anyone really doubt that there are plenty of parents out there who routinely ignore their children in favour of their phones?

Absolutely correct. That's a very sad account

But if you had to be, for whatever unavoidable reason. You'd rather performance parent and prevent your DC from sleeping?

Why would anyone feel different if the baby was being ignored for half an hour by a parent refusing to engage, just because they were reading a book?

It's shitty, neglectful behaviour regardless.

I think most of us wouldn’t have a toddler out at 11pm at night. I certainly wouldn’t, and no not even ‘on holiday’ or a religious festival or whatever other nonsense someone will say. My parents would’ve have either.

It's a huge problem....I'll admit sometimes have been guilty of getting abit bogged down in my phone whilst at home on the sofa, DH too, but I wouldn't ignore my kids completely whilst doing so, and i try to limit it to when they are having their TV programme time.When I'm out with them at say the park, or a toddler group etc they will have my full attention and phone would be in my bag.

Sadly I saw a dad on his phone the whole time with his daughter at the park the other day....and the worst thing was that at the point I arrived she was the only child there! Surely he could have put his phone away for abit just to give her some attention.Maybe you used to get it with parents focusing intently newspapers or books sometimes but definitely not to the same extent!

Obvioulsy probably not the case for this mum you saw, but it is hard when our phones are used for so much now....sometimes I'm doing necessary things such as searching for the kids clothes on vinted, uploading evidence for our UC childcare payments, messaging or emailing people about arrangements or making 'to do' notes!
But there still needs to be limits and I try to do it in the evening when I can.

Don't you think it's more neglectful to prevent a DC from getting sleep? Have you always done whatever your DC want? Were you up giving your DC your full attention at 11pm every day?

Would this feel different if the parent was engrossed in a book? Literary fiction?

This

It doesn't matter if mum and dad had a shit day or are tired, the baby doesn't understand that. My children are a bit older now but anytime they even looked for me or walked into a room, my phone went down. It's not that difficult.

I sat in a cafe the other week and watched a man completely ignore his child who was about 5. I'm not exaggerating when I say it brought a lump to my throat. The dad was sitting directly across from child, just the 2 of them, with a phone in front of his face for the entire time they were eating. The child looked so so sad and bored.

The “it’s just a small snapshot of their day” brigade know full well it's becoming alarmingly common behaviour for parents to ignore their kids, in favour of their phones. Or to hand their kids a screen so as not to disturb their scrolling etc.

Unless they never leave the house, never use public transport, never do the school run, never go to play parks or soft play and never enter cafes and restaurants.

Or maybe they do but it still doesn't enter their tiny minds that it's not a 'snapshot' they're seeing, they're seeing a rise in common neglectful behaviour.

My children are home educated for this very reason, so yes my plan does work thanks :)

Babies don't care that their parents have had a hard day. They don't understand that concept. What they do care about is being ignored. It's basically a modern-day manifestation of the Still Face Experiment, en masse - we know it is damaging for children to be ignored by their care givers when they are looking for interaction. "I've had a hard day" is, frankly, not a good enough excuse.

My grandchildren, in primary have to do homework online, so your plan won't work.
My generation got their legs smacked and our mothers would read or knit etc on the bus. We wouldn't dare disturb fathers.
Parents gave never been more involved in their children's lives. My could still play out, at primary age, they didn't get the homework or after school activities my GC do. I didn't have to attend 'inspire' days etc, like I do for my GC (I'm my DD's childcare). There's always been bad parents, but you can't judge from a snapshot.

I completely understand. Have you looked at a brand called lightphone? Google it. It’s more modern version designed by people who wanted there to be no way to bypass and get online. There’s simple map and that’s about it.
for banking etc have a laptop you only use for a designated time in the evenings after kids are asleep.

I’m curious what it would do, if I could. I feel stuck with mine, the things I do need it for online banking and the different apps that the school use to provide updates, etc. etc. Trying to stop using it is like being an alcoholic that has to carry a bottle of whiskey around.

I’d probably judge someone for having a toddler out at 11pm not gonna lie

Totally agree. What a sad situation to witness. And in response to “it’s just a small snapshot of their day” brigade - I see as much or more ignoring of young children because the parent is absorbed in their phone than I witness engaged parents. So it’s very much more than a small portion of their day otherwise statistically I wouldn’t see it as frequently as I see interaction.

Again, can you explain what that has to do with completely ignoring a baby, trying desperately to get its mother's attention?

This was my first thought. I sometimes ignore DC so they give in to sleep. We've really peaked when we're judging parents for not interacting with toddlers and preventing them from sleeping at 11pm!

She could still pat her child or tousle its hair.