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Please, please, please put away your phones...

539 replies

User63859 · 22/03/2025 23:22

Just witnessed a mother (and father) totally ignore their 18 month old (ish) child on the tube. Both of them totally engrossed in their phones. The baby was sat up in a buggy, awake (at 11pm but that's another issue) and had moments of trying to get their mother's attention. At one point the child leaned out of the buggy and buried its head in its mother's lap.

Not even a flinch from the mother. So concerned with scrolling (looking at a fashion website fwiw), she literally didn't even make eye contact.

It was heartbreaking. What are we doing to our children? Before all the late night trolls start piling in I'm not saying I'm a perfect parent, we all have our weaknesses, but witnessing this has literally made me so so sad. I think what made me even sadder is the fact the baby just seemed to accept it. They tried to get the smallest acknowledgment from their mother, failed so just sat there staring into space. Oh, and watching their mother prioritise a bit of metal over them.

Please, for the love of whatever, put away your phones. We all like a scroll and a moan on mumsnet but do it when your kids are in bed. I'm so tired of seeing all this shit parenting and worrying about what a messed up world my son is going to grow up in.

To those that are guilty of this, one day you will long for these days back again and by then it will be too late and you'll be wondering why your kids need so much therapy.

Be better, please.

OP posts:
PlumRaspberryJam · 23/03/2025 01:03

I think that sounds awful! Poor kid trying to get attention.

I find lots of instances of parenting like this and just turn a blind eye. I bring up my kid how I like and it is opposite to that, making sure my DC know how important they are to me and that mummy is always ready for a cuddle or play. I have a DH who loves his phone (who doesn’t!), but will always put our DC first and pay attention and the phone is put aside. It is just a rectangle with lights after all, no need to be glued to it 24/7.

Crackanut · 23/03/2025 01:01

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That's about your level of understanding.

User63859 · 23/03/2025 01:01

I think @MyLoyalBird is overtired. That and very rude / deliberately trying to be offensive.

Let's all just sit and scroll on our phones and ignore them and then they might go to sleep...

OP posts:
MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 01:01

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SouthLondonMum22 · 23/03/2025 01:00

It's not something I'd judge, especially at 11pm. People aren't typically out and about with toddlers at that time so I'd assume they've had a hell of a day for whatever reason.

It's also interesting and not at all surprising that the mother is getting harshly judged and the father doing the same thing is barely an afterthought. Some pp's don't even mention him at all but have plenty to say about the mum.

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 01:00

Not for me. For people, in general. This is getting silly now.

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:59

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Signetsarah · 23/03/2025 00:59

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:58

Sorry, I thought you was the same poster. I just gave the reasons my own DC have been out past their bed time. I think car accidents and A&E visits are pretty common occurrences, wouldn't you agree?

If car accidents and a&e visits are common occurrences for you that’s pretty concerning

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:58

Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:56

I never said that, you've got the wrong person. Anyway, your examples are just ridiculous.

Sorry, I thought you was the same poster. I just gave the reasons my own DC have been out past their bed time. I think car accidents and A&E visits are pretty common occurrences, wouldn't you agree?

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:58

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Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:57

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Called the pigs? I can't believe what you've just written. That is so so so immature. Not to mention offensive.

Crazyworldmum · 23/03/2025 00:57

LivingwithHopenowandforever · 23/03/2025 00:50

All these posters making comments about the type of day the parents could have had need to just grow the fuck up. That child didn’t ask to be born! You became parents and regardless of what kind of day your young child is awake and wanting their parents attention. You do not get to pick & choose when you will be present. How sad that, that Mother was more interested in her phone than her child. For all of you coming up with these lame excuses you have one chance, you don’t get to do a do over. All of these moments may seem unimportant to you now but this will just be the start & you will keep repeating that mistake until your children have grown up & left home. They will have their children and for them they don’t want to be absent parents like you all were and will give their own children the attention and love they craved for and you may think you will be able to make up for all of that with your grandchildren but your own children will not let you take over because why should they miss out on their children growing up just to make you feel better about the mistakes you made by placing more importance on a metal object than your own flesh & blood.

So condescending !! Last year we spend a whole day and night in hospital after a miscarriage, we stopped on the way home , young child and toddler in tow to get breakfast, we where mentally and i physically exhausted , trying to hold the tears , my hubby trying his best to support me , we stopped because he very own was starving and I wanted to be able to get home without needing to worry about food .
I’m sure to many we looked like awful parents as we gave them a phone and my oldest was on her iPad the whole time .Not something we would normally allow , I don’t think we said a word to each other the whole time , I think if we did we would just break down there and then . We were simply trying to survive an awful day .
My point is you should never judge people in a few minutes interactions . That baby might have the world if attention most of the time and just be with exhausted parents this time . Nobody is perfect

Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:56

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:51

You said there is literally no reason you would ever be out with a DC at 11pm, I gave common examples. This thread is ridiculous.

I never said that, you've got the wrong person. Anyway, your examples are just ridiculous.

DiddyHeck · 23/03/2025 00:55

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Neglecting your child on a train at 11pm at night by scrolling your phone and completely ignoring their attempts at trying to get your attention, is not a case for SS or the 'pigs' as your delightfully call them.

However, that doesn't mean it's not neglect.

Really worrying that you can't see this.

Signetsarah · 23/03/2025 00:52

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:51

You said there is literally no reason you would ever be out with a DC at 11pm, I gave common examples. This thread is ridiculous.

Sorry what were the common reasons?

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:52

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Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:51

Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:49

Ah here! What in the name...

You said there is literally no reason you would ever be out with a DC at 11pm, I gave common examples. This thread is ridiculous.

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:51

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DiddyHeck · 23/03/2025 00:51

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The OP is discussing child neglect.

It's worrying that you can't see that.

Crazyworldmum · 23/03/2025 00:50

do you know that mother and father’s day? They may have had a hell if a day , they may have been traveling for hours , they may have been working . I can think of 20 reasons why they might have bended to be on their phone , and about 100 why the child was not in bed . I can think of nil reasons why someone should make it their business to be nasty about it

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:50

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LivingwithHopenowandforever · 23/03/2025 00:50

All these posters making comments about the type of day the parents could have had need to just grow the fuck up. That child didn’t ask to be born! You became parents and regardless of what kind of day your young child is awake and wanting their parents attention. You do not get to pick & choose when you will be present. How sad that, that Mother was more interested in her phone than her child. For all of you coming up with these lame excuses you have one chance, you don’t get to do a do over. All of these moments may seem unimportant to you now but this will just be the start & you will keep repeating that mistake until your children have grown up & left home. They will have their children and for them they don’t want to be absent parents like you all were and will give their own children the attention and love they craved for and you may think you will be able to make up for all of that with your grandchildren but your own children will not let you take over because why should they miss out on their children growing up just to make you feel better about the mistakes you made by placing more importance on a metal object than your own flesh & blood.

MyLoyalBird · 23/03/2025 00:49

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Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:49

Twocheesychips · 23/03/2025 00:34

If youd been in a car accident you would teleport home? If your DC needed to go to A&E, you'd neglect them until the morning?

Ah here! What in the name...

DiddyHeck · 23/03/2025 00:47

Crackanut · 23/03/2025 00:45

The only people trotting out the "snapshot" and "let the child sleep" bullshit are the neglectful parents who do it themselves. They're clutching at straws. We see them...

I agree, some people see threads like this as the OP holding a mirror up to them.

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