Please, please, please put away your phones...

I don't, I make very conscious effort not to while at home while they're awake, and only whip my phone out when outside if I've received a message (which I'll only respond to right then if necessary), someone's calling (rare), or I need to find out something important (like what time's the next bus). Otherwise, my phone is only for taking photographs.

Our children need our attention for their development and for their sense of security and attachment. They're only young for a very short space of time, but we'll have all the time in the world to stare at Facebook and Wikipedia and MN etc once they don't need or even want us around very often, which will happen much sooner than most of us currently appreciate.

Before anyone accuses me of smugness, btw, I did use to be on my phone significantly longer during the day and would be sitting on it while my then-baby daughter vied for my attention. I had an uncomfortable epiphany one day when I looked away from my phone to see she was quietly sitting in front of me on the floor, staring at me staring at my phone, a look of resigned sadness on her pretty little face. I had no idea how long I'd been staring at my phone. It was that moment I felt like such an awful mother, and then made the decision to make a conscious effort to keep my phone away from me, if not not in the same room as me, then at the very least well out of hand's reach.

My husband still stares at his phone whenever I ask him to play with or watch the kids, though. It utterly infuriates me. A few days ago, he was sitting above our daughter while she was on the potty, phone on hand, not talking to her or encouraging her somehow or anything. I exasperatedly asked him if he realised he probably looked like he had a phone for a head from her perspective?

The problem is, the makers of all these apps and these websites (this one is a good example) are very good at getting us hooked on interacting with their content. So many of us are effectively addicted to our phones.

For those saying they despise seeing a toddler in a pushchair watching a tablet, I think it genuinely depends on the child.

Ds1 was a buggy refuser and would often have screaming tantrums whenever he was put in it. No amount of interacting would stop it. I admit if I was on a bus or in a shop, the tablet often came out so he didn’t scream the place down and disturb the fellow passengers. On the other hand, ds2 sits happily in his buggy and he’s never used a tablet.

Ds1 no longer uses his tablet but the short term use has had no ill effects on his behaviour or speech and development.

Perhaps it is time to think of phones in the same way we did about smoking. They might not damage your physical health but they might damage your mental health and the health of those around you especially young children.

It doesn’t matter. Little one just wanted some attention and at least one of the parents should’ve been off their phone.

Why does it require mum to wear headphones if she is trying to get the child to sleep? Surely they could wait until the child was actually asleep before listening to music etc. I hate to see it, call me judgemental and it probably is, but that’s how I feel when I see a mum wearing headphones pushing a pram with a baby old enough to engage.

I agree and what's more sad is that child will likely have a tablet to amuse it within a couple of months.

I agree OP, while we can never know the full context behind this particular situation, it is undeniable that phones are a very big issue.

If you look around any train, bus, cafe or restaurant the majority of people are on phones. If this is replicated at home what is it like for young children. Even in workplaces it is an issue. The government talk about productivity in the economy, well if half your workers are distracted by phones for hours a day then they are not productive. Also driving, we have all seen people stopped at lights or worse actually driving while scrolling.

Let's face it, phones are an addiction and it is time for it to be called out. The people behind the companies responsible for this are too powerful and nothing more than lip service will happen.

Ahh but those parents needed a break don't you know. Or they needed a night out because parenting is so exhausting don't you know. Or they didn't realise that having a baby means your own life stops for a bit and why should it don't you know.
Happy parents means happy baby … apparently.

What if your children are in an emergency before they turn 16 and need to get in contact with you?

Fair enough giving them a bog standard Nokia rather than a smart phone but I’d rather my dc were able to get in contact with me should they need to.

That is very sad, poor child.

Yep, this is why kids’ speech development is delayed, why kids are still in nappies when they get to school, why their teeth are bad… It’s not the effects of Covid, it’s parents who are totally lost in their phones. I’ve seen it loads of times and it started years ago…

I was in a pub fairly recently - a big group was having a meal out. The baby was in a high chair with an iPad and the adults barely said a word to that baby for the hour they were there.

I have a 1 and 3 yr old and agree

That's completely different, if your child was playing and content. If your child was reaching out for your attention, and you ignored them, it would be wrong.

This is the fundamental problem though isn't it? Calling it "this shaming, that shaming... " its leading to a lot of people thinking they can do whatever they want with no consequences.

No one gets pulled up on anything. It is becoming increasingly apparent that the lack of emotional investment by parents in their really young children is causing MASSIVE problems when those children reach the adolescent years.

Imagine... a different scenario but with the same attitude that this would be called "this that shaming"

"I saw someone downing pints and shots at the pub then get into their car... "

"But you don't know what sort of day they had, they may have lost their job, they might have found out their loved one is leaving..."

Before anyone says you cant compare the two, I'm not, I'm trying to illustrate that "xshaming" (or judgement by one's peers) is not necessarily a negative thing.

Even if they were knackered, spent 23 hours playing and reading.. reaching out for your parent and being ignored is wrong.

Exactly this!

Please, please, please mind your own business!

you have no idea what the parents are like the rest of the time and no idea of the day they have had. Unless someone is causing harm to someone then leave them to it. I’m sure there’s plenty of things you do that we could judge you for when it comes to parenting, but guess what, it’s none of my business!

@Crazyworldmum ive Been there and I to had times where I had to sit and look at just anything on my phone to stop myself bursting into tears

Talk to your baby/toddler, it’s how they learn.

Again, deliberately misconstruing other people's points. Are you on the defensive because some of these comments have touched a nerve, by any chance?

Nobody here is saying that someone having their headphones on while their baby SLEEPS is an issue, they're saying that someone deliberately ignoring their very much awake child by wearing headphones or staring into their phones is wrong. Surely you can see the difference?

I agree with you but you did sound a little preachy with

The baby was sat up in a buggy, awake (at 11pm but that's another issue)

What would be the issue, that the baby was out with his parents late at night?

And what if they were trying to get the child to sleep? That's what I used to do when she was fighting nap time. Walk in the pram, wouldn't talk to her because that would keep her awake.

How do you know they aren't doing that? And allowing themselves half an hour of a pod cast or music while getting their child to nap?

Can I just add that a mother commented on me reading a book whilst my child was playing this week soo we can't win really . . .

What, if I put my headphones in for a bit of quiet music whilst pushing my baby in a pram to get her to sleep, that wouldn't look the same as me wearing headphones and not talking to the child?

I gave context from the parents point of view and now it's not the same? How would you know which it was from outside the situation?

Oh come on, that's not the same thing and you know it.

I agree.

I used to walk DD around the park in the pram when she wouldn't sleep at nap time. She would drop off if I just stayed quiet and pushed her round. You likely would have judged me for not talking to her for her development.