Please, please, please put away your phones...

Give over. Who is being bullied then? They probably don't even know this post has been created.

It's astounding that of all the issues in society, this is what you're taking umbridge with: some anonymous poster relaying a situation relating to two other anonymous people and discussing the detrimental impact of this parenting style on society as a whole.

I caught myself doing it the other day. DS was practicing for his food tech in the kitchen, while I was watching Netflix on the sofa. He asked me something, and it shook me out of a literal haze. I put my phone down and went and sat with him in the kitchen and chatted. I felt pretty shitty tbh.

It's emotional neglect but I don't think the children are at 'serious risk'. There is a problem with hyperbole and lack of nuance in the devices debate.

As the mother of a teen, I think you might change your mind about the phone - being able to contact them in this day and age and vice versa is a boon - but I agree with infants and iPads. Friends of ours got their DD one when she was two. Two!! We went for lunch round theirs when she was glued to it and I had to intervene, I couldn’t help myself. I said she’s had over an hour, shall we turn it off and get her to play, do some drawing etc? But they didn’t want her to disturb us so she stayed on. I then tried to distract her but she was too plugged in, like a little robot. 😢

Errr do you know who the post is referring to? Because I can’t work out the identity of these people and I don’t think anyone else can so it’s not bullying.

The reduced interaction and responses to validate and reassure are mimicking the same as depression where the emotional responses aren’t available.
when parents are habitually scrolling this will and does have a marked affect of the young child’s brain in emotional and verbal development. It will affect attachment .
they might be otherwise ok parents but there’s plenty that aren’t.

And actually, what would the world be without judgement? Already standards in behaviour and common courtesy are slipping drastically because we have to be kind and not judge. The emphasis has shifted from not doing something shitty because society would disapprove, to not being the meany who disapproves of someone doing something shitty - so people just behave in anti social ways and don't give a fuck or take no accountability for their actions!

Guess we found a phone first baby second parent.

Its not bullying. You dont know what bullying is.

You’re absolutely right - it’s getting out of control and is why so many children start school unable to speak.

A man posted on Twitter recently being sat in a restaurant a child being ignored through the whole meal by parents on phones. The child had an iPad but wanted to speak to them. At one point he said “I love you Mummy” and she didn’t look up.

I started to cry. We are dying as a civilisation and failing our children in plain sight.

I agree with you op

Creating a post to do the same is cyber bullying.

Yes, it is judgemental. All people make judgements, its partly how we keep ourselves safe, partly how we reasses and reinforce our own values and maybe even alter our behaviour if we are so inclined to better ourselves. Those who are not, make excuses and shout 'bully'.

People discussing what they deem bad parent is not bullying. Going up to someone and telling them to get the fuck off their phone and engage with their kid instead of being shit, lazy parents, would be bullying.

No. Because I've been the mum who's had to carry a child out of a place screeching because they're not ready to leave.

Because I've seen my mum be up the entire night with my sister who had colic and needed to step outside for ten minutes while she still cried (before phones).

Because I saw my aunt deal with a ND kid having a meltdown before it was commonly known about.

Because I know that people are human and need compassion not judgement. What does judgement actually do to help anyone?

🙄

I mean the world and the country is not underpopulated and in fact could benefit from a population reduction. Also purely anecdotal but the most neglectful shitty parents I know have multiple children.

But nobody sees that, do they? They're going from what they see, not what may have been beforehand.

And, hand on heart, have YOU never judged a mother for her conduct towards her child in public (despite having no idea what had come before you clapped eyes on them)? Of course you have.

@IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos It is acknowledged that we should not judge particular situations based on a snapshot. What the OP has raised is a question for us as a society about smartphones being used increasingly around young children and the impact this will have. We need to understand how that technology will impact our children and their development. What kind of social impact is this technology having on is all? Given the widespread use it is reasonable to ask these questions.

It's very much a form of bullying to come online and post about a person you've seen do something to tell everyone they're terrible parents.

And some of us will defend others. It's nothing to do with whether a nerve is touched. I will defend others from bullies in real life too. I have done many times.

I often think "what would I want someone to do if that person was my daughter / sister / mother?"

It's one thing to feel sad for a child you've seen where the mum was on her phone. It's another entirely to come online and create a thread to berate her.

Exactly.

Oh I’m so glad this Mum interacted with her child in just exactly the right way so that a stranger couldn’t judge her for either neglectful parenting or performance parenting.

Don’t look at you phone or you are emotionally damaging you child. But don’t interact with them too enthusiastically or else you are clearly putting on a performance of parenting. Jesus Christ.

My parents are in their 70s and even I have been shocked at how engrossed and addicted they have become with their phones. Never when the grandkids are around, but just in daily life.
It’s an addiction and it’s so sad that children are growing up competing with phones for their parents attention.

Im very glad I was an early 80s baby. Life was more simple but much better.

I take my small dog on the bus/tube/train. I don’t even get my phone out, my job is to reassure her and hold her. If my dog can feel my presence and know I’m in it with her, so can my children.

You've complained about bullies and how people should be more supportive of mums, too.

And since you responded before I finished editing my comment, I'll paste what I wrote:

"And given that it's what, not even 7am in the UK (if that's where you are), nobody will imagine you're currently scrolling and writing on MN while ignoring your very much awake 3-year-old. Again, a nerve has been touched."

That's the thing, nobody is judging you, or anyone else, for being on their phones or having headphones on while their children aren't awake, it's when they are awake and wanting your attention that's the problem.

Yes, sorry, but you are being judged here. You can't possibly come onto a site like MM, share something like this (especially going against the grain of the general opinion), without being disagreed with and judged. In fact, you're being judged every day of your life by almost everyone you come into contact with, and not just on how you choose to bring up your children.

Why does it clearly bother you? If you honestly believe how you're in the right here, you wouldn't care what the rest of us are saying. The fact that you're being very defensive suggests that, as I've said before, a nerve has been touched.

Our decision to have only one child was very much impacted by how much everything costs.

Nothing to do with whether we wanted to spend more time on screens.