Please, please, please put away your phones...

Same here. When I've gone for appointments, or just seen people walking past from my window, nearly are staring at their phones. I have a smartphone but often forget to turn it on, I really only need it for emergencies and actually don't think it would be comfortable to use for surfing the internet. I far prefer to take in life and notice what's going on around me. I feel sad for kids being brought up with them. What's so important that you have to be constantly scrolling??

I see it with carers too, in cafes. I notice because I care for a young adult with additional needs. There’s no chat- just the carer looking at their phone, and the care-ee just sitting. You’re paid to enrich, not to babysit! 😡

Exactly. You'd have to be so engrossed to not react to your child laying their head on your lap on a busy Tube, or tugging at their hood because they were so hot, which is what OP also said was happening. Or not give a shit about your child full stop.

People weren’t thrilled with me recently when I said every single week (EVERY single week) for the whole of my kids swimming lessons everyone around me bar one or two other parents sit on their phones for the full hour, sometimes with me having to tip them and say ‘your ds is looking for you’ as their child waves up madly because it’s their turn/ about to be their turn. In your case hopefully a one off but yes totally agree with you

I agree OP, I was just on a plane and a dad sat with his kids spent his whole time scrolling while his kids caused chaos. At one point his kid put the seat tray down and then started kicking it up and down. After a few minutes of it he dragged his eyes away from the screen just long enough to yell 'no' and then was right back to it.

I remember about 13 years ago I was with my then toddler daughter on the train. We were chatting. As we got off a lady stopped me and said how nice it was to see a parent talking to her child. I was abit confused at the time, but sad later when I realised it was unusual. We used to have some fabulous chats on the train!

I'm not a parent but I find it a bit depressing in general that, wherever you are in public, you're surrounded by people staring down at their phones.

Well said OP! And while we’re on the subject of children’s health, they DO NOT need to drink those silly sugary bottled “juices” when thirsty.
if you get them used to water, that’s what they’ll drink!!!!

Even so, if the child needed their attention, you wouldn't expect the parent to ignore their kid.

💯

Its very sad. The children are suffering neglect.

Well said OP!!

Disagree and agree. Phones are way more addictive than anything we’ve had before and transportable so although it’s not a new issue it’s now turbo charged.

I so so so agree., in fact was just speaking to dh about it the other day, how I see mums and dads completely ignore their kids while doom scrolling their phones. I’m so pleased we didn’t have them as our kids were growing up.

Years ago those parents would have had their heads in a newspaper or magazine. Or at home watching tv. Or doing a crossword. Parental issues are not new it’s just different distractions now.

My BIL & SIL were these parents. Didn’t take long for nephew to realise that the best way to get attention was to be badly behaved. Now he’s 13 and has been an absolute brat for years. Thankfully we only see them once a year for a maximum of 36hrs when we’re at the in-laws at the same time.

@MondayYogurt so sad

You might not care what strangers think but you will care what your child thinks. They don’t stay babies and young children. They will “judge” you when they are adults. And they have every right to.

Was my eldest was 18last year I was making a joke about being a bad mum about something I did when they were little and she very seriously said “no you were a good mum”. She’s not given to over praise or hyperbole so that meant a lot. Imagine your child not being able to say that because you were goggling at your phone every time they wanted your attention?

Battling depression lately, at home with 1yo and 10 weeks pregnant, freezing cold day I manage to get us bundled up and out of the house (ending with both of us in tears). He loves his buggy, as we start walking he calms down, I start to scroll the replies from my sister that morning, Id messaged her in desperation saying I didn't know how I'd get thru the day etc.

Neighbour steps out of her drive to mock me for "playing" on my phone. I burst into tears and went back home, called dh to come home I couldn't cope and was worried Id end up hurting the baby or something awful.

My neighbours probably a pp on this thread. She could easily have kindly said "hey sweetie why don't you try talking to him?" and I might have told her about my day instead, she could have given me a hug and some advice, and my parenting would have had a whole lot more help.

The high and mighty tone of some people is ridiculous and it's no wonder some of us are feeling "triggered."

Sorry needed to get that out.

Well done. The world would be a lot better place if all those entitled, judgy types (more often than not from quite privileged backgrounds themselves) had been put in their place a lot sooner!

@ExpatMum41

Logging off now, my baby's awake

So see, you either ignored your waking baby for at least 30 seconds to type that (rather unnecessary) sentence to a bunch of randoms on a glorified social media website. Or your baby was already awake while you were debating with randoms on social media. Judging is fun!

Agree

Thx. I’ve raised 2 lovely, kind, well balanced, resilient, talented, academic DC who have never been bullied by the same person twice.

Not taking any crap off anyone who overstepped the boundary placed around my family played a massive part in that.

It’s the new drug!
(deleting mumsnet and Instagram apps from my phone for the rest of today…)

There is a part of me that wonders if the parents did have a long day, but it really takes nothing to acknowledge your child when they're wanting an interaction from you. When my 1 year old is out travelling with me and her Dad and she is trying to interact with me, my phone goes in my pocket. I am guilty of it myself looking at my phone sometimes, but as soon as I know my child wants attention, I stop and all of my attention is on her. One day she is going to grow into someone who isn't going to always want to talk to me. I want to appreciate the moments with her while I can.

I agree that not acknowledging your child for a good 30 minutes because your too engrossed in your phone and they really are trying to get attention is not good, but I definitely don't see a problem with parents being on their phones and like others have said you are only witnessing a snapshot of someone's day. I go on my phone for all sorts of reasons (food ordering, paying bills, sending emails or important messages, ordering things for my little girl that she needs etc) and also sometimes just feel a bit overwhelmed and need a bit of time to doom scroll. That said, I don't ignore my child I do keep an eye on what shes doing and will put my phone down again to watch her doing something or start singing songs with her or have a cuddle, and then I might pick up my phone again when she gets bored of me and want to go playing by herself for 10 minutes. It's all about balance but also life is busy and there's always something to think about that 95% of the time might involve using a phone! That's how it is these days.