Please, please, please put away your phones...

Was watching similar the other day from a cafe. Parents in front, kid about 3, trailing behind on a bike crossing the road, just avoided being hit. Did the same coming back, paying zero attention to the child

I mean that is proper neglect not some poor woman looking at her phone.

I don't really understand the point you're wanting to make. Your grandma neglected her children really badly. So in comparison you think a mum mindlessly scrolling their phone instead of conversing with their child isn't so bad? Or are you suggesting that that mum may have been even more neglected herself so she wouldn't have had a good parenting role model?

You've taken one small snapshot of a day and applied it to a person's whole life! Yes its not great but sometimes any of us can "check out" for a while. My grandma used to pop into the kitchen neck what she called her double V- valium and vodka becoming completely useless for the next twelve hours to her four children. My mum at 7 could prepare a full meal.So no I'm not judging a woman on a tube looking at her phone. We need to be eachothers cheerleaders not each others demise.

And here's me reading this while ignoring my 20 month old. She'll be fine.

Oh.

Yep. In 10 years time that kid will be at school with attachment behaviour issues and apparently it will be up to the school’s SEN department to sort it because it definitely, absolutely, 100% has nothing to do with how the kid was interacted with growing up. They were obviously just born with issues. 🙄

@Zippedydodah yes but just make sure you don’t criticise someone’s parenting based on a “snapshot”🙄

I just hope that the next time someone who’s fixed on their bloody phone steps off the pavement without looking, while shoving their buggy in front of them, has a car driver who can stop as fast as I had to this morning. This isn’t the first time this has happened to me.
It appalls me that a generation of children who it seems apare being raised by adults who have no idea how to interact with small children and who can’t go anywhere without be glued to their screen 🤬

Then probably don’t pick up their dog’s 💩

I once picked my child up at crèche (first ever 1 hour session). I arrived five minutes early as a nervous first time mum to find her with a phone propped up playing Baby bloody Shark. They were not all in a group dancing to it or anything like that. She was on her own. At this point, she didn’t even know what it was and had never been given my phone. She was only just turned one and I wanted to introduce her to a weekly or twice weekly crèche session to help with her socialisation etc. 🙄 I didn’t bother afterwards and stuck to the play groups, classes and activities we’d done up to that point. I was pretty disappointed it’d happen in a (supposedly good) childcare setting on the very first session and it wasn’t to pacify her. There were apparently no tears.

Also just want to add that OP judged a couples parenting by one half an hour out of context she'd seen on a train so likely not their norm. Came online to complain about and put down terrible parents she knew nothing about. Loads of people piled onto said parents they know even less about than OP.

A couple of us said none of us are perfect parents, have examples, also got piled on. OP came back outright said she was judging me but I'm the one that's out of order because I said that made her horrible. And I'm being told this by someone saying they haven't read everything, so they're judging based on my retaliation to someone.

OP also said she judges online bullies, despite it being a comment on a thread she created to bash complete strangers.

This entire thread is made to put mums down. It's not how mum's should behave towards one another. It is horrible.

She says she'll judge people for being so emotionally immature that they take a minute to distract themselves from a bad situation by glancing blindly at their emails. So obviously she's perfect and has never had to distract herself in anyway and never put a foot wrong in bad situations or whilst looking after her children.

She's judged parents she doesn't know for having their child out and awake at 11pm. She doesn't know why they were up and about at that time. Or why the kid was awake.

So yeah, she's coming across horrible. Bang out of order for me to say so, but not for her to judge people for their ways or comments? Grand.

I haven't read everything but I don't see how that poster is claiming she's absolutely perfect. I also think you calling her a horrible person is bang out of order.

Ok, truth be told I've joined the thread late and not on top of the previous

While I agree there's no golden age of parenting, I'm not sure we are at peak child centric any more. When I was going to baby and toddler groups with my oldest 11 years ago, parents were really involved with their kids. Almost everyone was down on the floor playing with them. Chatting to the other adults too but very much in the kids' spaces.

I went along with a friend recently and so many Mums sitting on the side on their phones. She said that is really standard at all the groups she goes to including the 'class' type ones where you're really meant to be interacting. Also toddlers being given phones to look at if they get bored of the toys. This is something but I'm not sure it's child centric, not really.

Totally agree. Once saw a baby, maybe 14-18 months, playing a game on mum’s phone really well - both horrified and
impressed at his skill. Mum was chatting then to her friend. Well, we all need a bit of peace and while the screen time at that age isn’t my idea of OK, it’s not my idea.

But when the mum was getting off the bus she took the phone and shoved it in her pocket and didn’t even look at her child or engage at all, never
mind say we are getting off the bus, mummy needs her phone back. Let’s go shopping or whatever they were doing. The child reacted as if this was normal. Sad times indeed

Twocheesychips Perfect was never an option but i coped because i was a 23 year old adult that didn't need a dummy. I could manage without having to ignore my children.
As for those judging for being a Military family, no doubt those that would judge wouldn't have the balls or the backbone to be part of that but sure as hell will demand our AF defend them when the shit hits the fan.

At 11pm, they had likely managed their stress all day already. They were likely hoping the toddler would go to sleep.

Doesn’t matter. Still crap parenting. Parents need to find a different way to manage their stress. This is on them, not their child.

At 11pm?! The Victorians gave infants opium, I suppose.

I'm with the poster above. There is no golden age of parenting. Our reliance on screens may have increased and that brings many issues including children being exposed to more inappropriate content, but on the other hand life is more child-centric (something people often complain about!) and there is much more focus on interacting with children than there ever was in the past.

Hundreds of child psychologists would disagree. We've all fallen into the trap of doom scrolling rather than engaging with real life and the people in it. Rather than deny we have a serious problem with far reaching consequences for our children, we should try to find solutions.

Most dog walks I see out and about are: airpods in, dogs being dragged round, no interaction and not allowing the dog to stop to sniff. Pathetic excuse for a dog walk.

Totally agree about lack of interaction with children OP.

After reading posts advocating both sides, I remain unconvinced that not interacting meaningfully with your children at 11pm at night is the crime of the century.

So what.