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Original poster

She ordered a Curry and hasn’t paid me

792 replies

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 20:51

Friend came to my house

I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually

Her JustEat app wasn’t working so I said have a look on mine for places that are open. She picked Indian.

I put everything I wanted in and she added hers. Total came to £52ish. Over 65% of that cost was hers.

I said I could just check out and sort it later. I have messaged to ask if she had the money today as a gentle reminder, and she said she thought it was my treat?

I said oh, we must have got crossed wires then. She said ‘I did cover the shop’

She went to the corner shop for wine and snacks. I got a Grape Fanta!

Where do I go from here? Leave it? Was it reasonable for her to assume it was in fact my treat?

OP posts:
IlooklikeNigella · 23/03/2025 20:46

BluntTiger · 23/03/2025 20:44

What is a CF? Or shouldn’t I ask?

Cheeky fucker

Smittenkitchen · 23/03/2025 20:46

BluntTiger · 23/03/2025 20:44

What is a CF? Or shouldn’t I ask?

Cheeky fucker

BluntTiger · 23/03/2025 20:44

What is a CF? Or shouldn’t I ask?

HellDorado · 23/03/2025 20:43

Why 3 nans?

Angry Looney Tunes GIF by Bombay Softwares
Grammarnut · 23/03/2025 20:40

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 21:38

On the list was

Butter chicken
Sweet Naan x3
Rice
Vindaloo and rice
Coke 1Ltr
Delivery fee £5

That's expensive for 2 meals and some rice. Why 3 nans?

HellDorado · 23/03/2025 20:30

But since when did “Do you fancy a curry?” translate to “Do you want to treat us to a curry?”?

JorgyPorgy · 23/03/2025 20:27

jenrobin · 23/03/2025 19:54

This is a fascinating take on what has been said. OP told her guest she was going to cook them both some carbonara. In what world does that mean "food wasn't forthcoming?"

Show quote history

Your comment is a fascinating misreading of OPs original quote which was :

“Friend came to my house. I was going to cook but she asked if I fancied a curry. I said that would be really nice actually”.

This to me says she didn’t explicitly tell guest “hey I’m going to cook us a carbonara!”.
If she did say that and her guest’s response was “ nah let’s order curry” then her guest’s rudeness goes way beyond dodging payment. In fact I would be surprised anyone could be so rude to dismiss hosts cooking in favour of takeaway.

IlooklikeNigella · 23/03/2025 20:24

jenrobin · 23/03/2025 19:46

I do see what you're saying, and I'm inclined to agree that OP's friend probably did stuff her pockets with naan bread, and/or put the packaged snacks in her handbag to leave room for extra rice, but I say that because she's clearly a CF, not because there's a golden ratio of carbs to curry that we must all abide by. It is relevant that by OP's count, she ordered most of the food, and took home most of the stuff she paid for. It's less relevant to work out what 'normal' eating is, and you're going to get defensive comments if you do that.

Show quote history

But this is my point - there ARE guidelines around portion sizes and ratios of macros etc and people and their attitudes are getting rapidly further away from them while attaching way too much emotion to food.

It's not just a random opinion. Eating two naans and rice is a bad idea for anybody.

Calling people who recognise that fact miserable, disordered eaters and lots of other appalling stuff is not fair game just because someone felt defensive.

Pingu32 · 23/03/2025 20:19

I wouldn't bring it up again, because I wouldn't contact her again. Let it go, along with her, she's on a different wavelength to you and not worth it.

Trishyb10 · 23/03/2025 20:07

friend,s reply was very disrespectful, drop her x

snowmichael · 23/03/2025 20:07

OnePeachA · 22/03/2025 21:34

Slightly side tracking but the poster replying with a shock to the 2 meals costing £52, does that seem a lot then?! I thought it was average

I have text to say ‘Sorry, no treats I’m afraid. This is my account details x xxxx. Hope to meet up again soon‘

I would say horrifically expensive for a local takeaway
Ours (a very good one, Liz Hurley still goes there, used to be Bruce Forsyth's go-to) would be around £7-9 per main course, and £3-5 per side
So for two people you'd expect £25 in total, plus another ~£10 if having starters

CoolPlayer · 23/03/2025 20:03

Least you know never to pay for anything again while with her x

treesandsun · 23/03/2025 20:03

"Her JustEat app wasn’t working" hmm suspect it was but then anything would come out of her account and not yours.
Chances are She will now 'forget' to give it to you.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 23/03/2025 20:03

CheesePlantBoxes · 22/03/2025 20:52

"Sorry hun, cant afford to treat anyone in this ecomnomy 😆 Send me £X for the food and I'll send you £2 for the fanta."

This

Iloveringos · 23/03/2025 19:57

HellDorado · 23/03/2025 14:11

Just piss off and lick your lettuce

If I could lick my own lettuce I’d never leave the house…

🤣🤣🤣

jenrobin · 23/03/2025 19:54

JorgyPorgy · 23/03/2025 19:49

No one would be so rude unless food wasn’t forthcoming so they suggested takeaway , and it sounds like food wasn’t available as guest had to go shop for snacks and wine…

Show quote history

This is a fascinating take on what has been said. OP told her guest she was going to cook them both some carbonara. In what world does that mean "food wasn't forthcoming?"

JorgyPorgy · 23/03/2025 19:49

Soontobesingles · 22/03/2025 23:17

From how she phrased it I’d expect she was treating you. On the other hand, if you invite someone to your home you usually provide food. However, unless she exceptionally socially inexperienced, it is also not polite to refuse the meal on offer at host’s home, let alone demand something different and more expensive and expect host to cover costs.

No one would be so rude unless food wasn’t forthcoming so they suggested takeaway , and it sounds like food wasn’t available as guest had to go shop for snacks and wine…

BeholdOurButterStinketh · 23/03/2025 19:47

Boredofbeinganadult · 23/03/2025 19:36

i had a friend do this to me, said could I order and she would transfer the money and she never did. I don’t talk to her anymore

Some people use "I'll transfer you the money" as an alternative to "Can you lend me?" - both of them deliberately meaning "Give me" - but they think that lying about supposedly meaning to repay you somehow sugar coats it.

jenrobin · 23/03/2025 19:46

IlooklikeNigella · 23/03/2025 19:34

Yeah that's fair enough but those original replies were about the order that OP's friend put in, not anyone on this thread... and it was on OP's bill which she has resisted paying back.

Then loads of ridiculous accusations were flung around about anyone who didn't eat in those quantities.

It reminds me of when there's a free bar for an hour after a funeral. Every decent person only orders draft beer or house wine and they only order ONE. They don't stand at the bar downing whiskey chasers till the free bar ends and then claim anyone not joining them is battling issues with alcohol.

Show quote history

I do see what you're saying, and I'm inclined to agree that OP's friend probably did stuff her pockets with naan bread, and/or put the packaged snacks in her handbag to leave room for extra rice, but I say that because she's clearly a CF, not because there's a golden ratio of carbs to curry that we must all abide by. It is relevant that by OP's count, she ordered most of the food, and took home most of the stuff she paid for. It's less relevant to work out what 'normal' eating is, and you're going to get defensive comments if you do that.

springisspringing1 · 23/03/2025 19:42

BunnyLake · 23/03/2025 13:05

I was doing online purchases long before I got a banking app.

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Yes sure, but I suspect the venn diagram for people doing online banking and using eg Justeat is basically a circle. It would be weird to do one but not the other.

Manchesterbythesea · 23/03/2025 19:42

CheesePlantBoxes · 22/03/2025 20:52

"Sorry hun, cant afford to treat anyone in this ecomnomy 😆 Send me £X for the food and I'll send you £2 for the fanta."

This! ☝️

Bitofanchange · 23/03/2025 19:41

Hmm1234 · 23/03/2025 19:38

Everyone commenting on my reply saying £52 for two people on a a TAKEAWAY not dining out would be normal in London can stop @ me 🙄you must be eating like horses as well in this cost of living economy £52 I don’t think so

The OP has stated her menu, it’s not a secret!

Hmm1234 · 23/03/2025 19:38

Everyone commenting on my reply saying £52 for two people on a a TAKEAWAY not dining out would be normal in London can stop @ me 🙄you must be eating like horses as well in this cost of living economy £52 I don’t think so

Boredofbeinganadult · 23/03/2025 19:36

i had a friend do this to me, said could I order and she would transfer the money and she never did. I don’t talk to her anymore

Whatinthedoopla · 23/03/2025 19:35

IlooklikeNigella · 23/03/2025 19:19

This is a good point and somebody said something else many pages back that stuck in my head about if the friends JustEat app had worked would she have expected OP to transfer all the money?

I think when she got the wine and snacks matters and if OP had any - it seemed she didn't but could be wrong.

For example if after putting the JE order in and OP said we can sort it later, friend stood up and said "I'll go get drinks and snacks" then maybe she thought that was it sorted.

But if friend came with drinks and snacks then asked for a curry instead of the proposed meal I don't know how she assumed OP was treating.

I do have a friend who is very good at getting things paid for her like this. I did have to start keeping track and saying "it's your turn" before the plans were cemented as I got tired of it. At one point I realised I was going to hers with wine, paying for the takeaway (also didn't have the app) and getting a taxi home and it had happened too many times.

Show quote history

Exactly this.

I honestly don't know how people expect others to give more than 50%.

I find this such such a horrible feature in people, and they mostly feel no shame in doing this

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