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Original poster

What would you think if an ex said this?

37 replies

TarotDeck · 22/03/2025 19:40

I would just like opinions because I’m in two minds about it.

Okay so you broke up with an ex in 2012, you speak very briefly recently and he ends the message with “ If you’re ever in (his town) and bored. Let me know and we can laugh about how stupid we were back then”

Is that someone just being polite, an invitation like sir, what do you mean?

I’m just curious to how other people would interpret it really - my message before he said this was a very polite way of ending the conversation I was like “ I’ll let you get on with your day” sort of thing.

I’m just thinking about it and it being slightly odd haha.

OP posts:
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2025willbemytime · 23/03/2025 13:54

merryhouse · 23/03/2025 13:42

ah no, "I'll let you get on" is the polite way of saying "right, bored now, stop talking"

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IYO

I felt differently. It's no big deal. I think it can be dropped now. @TarotDeck knows what she meant.

merryhouse · 23/03/2025 13:42

2025willbemytime · 23/03/2025 12:41

I just felt it was in the hope they'd say no, I want to chat with you etc. Reassurance they are interested.

It's fine for others to take something else from it.

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ah no, "I'll let you get on" is the polite way of saying "right, bored now, stop talking"

Original poster
TarotDeck · 23/03/2025 12:57

It really wasn’t like that haha it was just a natural end to the conversation

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 23/03/2025 12:57

Definitely after a casual shag. Or I guess a slim chance he does just remember the fun times you had and wouldn't mind catching up as mates.
More likely after a ride though. 🤣

2025willbemytime · 23/03/2025 12:41

RedHelenB · 23/03/2025 07:14

In what way is it needy? Sounds a perfectly normal way to end a conversation

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I just felt it was in the hope they'd say no, I want to chat with you etc. Reassurance they are interested.

It's fine for others to take something else from it.

Idontjetwashthefucker · 23/03/2025 11:41

Secretsandlies222 · 22/03/2025 20:27

The assumption made by many on this thread that he is just after a shag, in my view, is based on low expectations of men’s behaviour. There is nothing whatsoever in his response to suggest this; particularly from the OP’s update. Not all men are only after sex. Jeez!

Edited

Lol

RedHelenB · 23/03/2025 07:14

2025willbemytime · 22/03/2025 20:14

I'll let you get on with your day is quite leading and needy though.

In what way is it needy? Sounds a perfectly normal way to end a conversation

Printedword · 23/03/2025 00:34

OP it's nice to be on good terms. I was jilted and he point blank ignored me in the street 26 years later.

Mayyouleave · 23/03/2025 00:33

TarotDeck · 22/03/2025 19:54

It’s a bit complicated but I messaged him a bit after we broke up about something, nothing that required a response really but he didn’t see it until recently because it went into his message requests and the we just chatted like six messages about life in general and a very polite sort of superficial way and I ended my message with “ I’ll let you get on with your day” & he replied with that and like it’s not a big deal or anything but I was wondering if it was just a flippant sign off but it’s just weird to say and like honestly I wish it was a hook up invitation but it absolutely was not. It’s really not his style and he wouldn’t need to speak to me for it haha but I was just wondering - it’s not something I’d say to someone I guess but I won’t be speaking to him again so I’ll never really know.

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Sorry OP, it didn't just go into his message requests that he's just seen after 12 years. He was scrolling though his messages and replied to you because as other posters have said, he wants to have sex.

slothandloaf · 23/03/2025 00:29

Depends whether pple think it’s ok to be friends with or maintain contact with an ex. He’s clearly saying he’d happily meet up to reminisce/shag/chat in the future so he’s saying he’s open to contact (nobody knows what kind tho). He’s not however saying “it was great to see you - wishing you all the best” & cutting the prospect of any further contact off. So nobody will know but if the OP wants a shag I don’t think it wld be out of the question. He’s saying he’s open.

Secretsandlies222 · 22/03/2025 20:27

The assumption made by many on this thread that he is just after a shag, in my view, is based on low expectations of men’s behaviour. There is nothing whatsoever in his response to suggest this; particularly from the OP’s update. Not all men are only after sex. Jeez!

Original poster
TarotDeck · 22/03/2025 20:18

2025willbemytime · 22/03/2025 20:14

I'll let you get on with your day is quite leading and needy though.

It definitely wasn’t like that at all - “ I’m glad to hear everything’s good for you too, I’ll let you get on with your day :)”

It was the middle of the work day and I was ending the conversation because I didn’t really have a reason to carry it on.

He replied and I hearted the message and we haven’t spoken since so if he took it as needy then that’s on him.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 22/03/2025 20:16

Idontjetwashthefucker · 22/03/2025 19:41

Sounds like he's after a shag

This

2025willbemytime · 22/03/2025 20:14

I'll let you get on with your day is quite leading and needy though.

Scarlettpixie · 22/03/2025 20:13

I wouldn’t read anything into it. He is saying it might be nice to reminisce if you are ever in the area. Probably doesn’t expect you to take him up on it. I have maybe 5 exes - 2 long term, 1 med term, 2 short term (but friends too) that I would be happy to catch up with over a coffee but I wouldn’t want to shag any of them.

MightAsWellBeGretel · 22/03/2025 20:09

Trickabrick · 22/03/2025 19:44

I’d assume it was a flippant sign-off, I wouldn’t read anything into it.

Same.

80skid · 22/03/2025 20:07

In all honesty, I’d love the opportunity to do this. Not in a an angling for shag kind of way, more, didn’t we have fun but haven’t we moved on kind of way. There was something about them to make you like them originally, you had shared good times. It’s not weird to want to reminisce about shared experiences without wanting to recreate the naughty times

Willoo · 22/03/2025 20:06

He’s just being friendly.

slothandloaf · 22/03/2025 20:06

Obvs it’s ambiguously put - hence your query on here. But he’d be up for sex definitely & was testing the waters. And you both can use the pretext of “ever being in his town again” as an excuse to hook up. Whether he’d be up for more is unknowable but he’d happily rekindle for sex that’s for sure.

Lillibridge · 22/03/2025 20:04

He's perhaps just being friendly in what might be a slightly awkward conversation. What he said has come across as being a bit cryptic but you'll find he was just trying to say goodbye. I wouldn't read into it too much.

Original poster
TarotDeck · 22/03/2025 20:01

LauderSyme · 22/03/2025 19:58

Based on the info in your second post, is breaking up in 2012 a typo?!

No, it’s been a really long time since I’ve spoken to him 🤣 he apparently doesn't know much about Facebook and didn’t even know I’d messaged him which I can believe tbh - I’m definitely overthinking the message but was just wondering what other people would think of it.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 22/03/2025 19:59

It's just a polite way of saying if you're ever around he'd like to meet up. I dont see it as an attempt at a shag or anything like that, it's just him being friendly.

Original poster
TarotDeck · 22/03/2025 19:59

Interl0per · 22/03/2025 19:57

Would he expect you to be going his way?

If you're passing through occasionally (and he knows it, and it's not with your family), that's asking to meet up.
If you've emigrated, he's being polite...

It’s sort of in the same area of where we live, well where I live now cos he’s moved there but it’s like 20 minutes away .. yeah tbf if I was on the other side of the world I would have thought he was either stupid or being polite Grin

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 22/03/2025 19:58

Based on the info in your second post, is breaking up in 2012 a typo?!

Interl0per · 22/03/2025 19:57

Would he expect you to be going his way?

If you're passing through occasionally (and he knows it, and it's not with your family), that's asking to meet up.
If you've emigrated, he's being polite...

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