Sad about reaction to summer residential trip but is it a sign of the times?

I feel sorry for these poor kids. I'm sure the parents think they're keeping them safe/protecting them but it's no wonder our teens and young adults are paralysed with depression/anxiety. They've been getting the constant message that the world is a terrible place filled with danger for them.

I'm on a council estate and kids here go out on bikes, go to the shop etc.

I don't think many go on school residentials due to cost.

£25 for a camping trip is a bargain.

Agreed @CautiousLurker01, I’m all for making residentials as accessible as possible for SEN kids. My SEN DC has actually happily gone on their school residentials (4 to date) - I guess I meant that they probably wouldn’t opt to go on something such as an optional music residential… though I suspect there are circumstances where the draw of the trip (e.g. trip to CERN) would be enough to outweigh their discomfort! But it certainly requires a lot of planning and discussion to mitigate their anxiety as far as possible.

I think the impact of the lock down must play a part (in the way parents have chosen to parent, I mean, in not attempting to address the missing out of these opportunities). Both my kids are ASD/ADHD, they went on every school residential trip (I sat on my phone the whole time they were away) but I also took them to brownies and beavers when there were young (and was one of the leaders) so that they went on sleepovers, camping and PGL from as young as 6yo.

I think people can use SEN as an automatic reason to discount their child taking part, rather than a reason to increase opportunities/exposure to such trips so that they are better able to cope with them (I appreciate that SEN needs differ, but we happily took a girl with down syndrome on brownies/guides trip in the knowledge mum was on call if needed). Both mine loved collecting their ‘nights away’ badges for their uniforms and whilst they really are not fans of camping, esp now they are teens, they are largely happy to travel anywhere. We just have to ensure there is build in space for them to opt out (spend time in the hotel rooms etc), which even on school trips they are able to facilitate with extra ‘down time’ and quiet activities/spaces for kids who are over stimulated.

I think it is important to distinguish between the extortionate "activity" trips and the resident also aimed at giving children an experience of being away.

For example DDs Secondary school have a Camp for Yr7s... usually attended by about 150 of the 200 pupils. Of the rest, some have accumulated too many behaviour points, and some don't want to go. Its free for those on pupil premium, and costs about £25 for 3 days for the rest.

They also have ski trips, water sports trips, theatre trips to New York or geography trips to Iceland costing hundred of pounds, if not over a thousand pounds. Very few go on those. They also have a fund they can target on low income families whose children would really benefit from those trips.

No one loses out by not going on the second type. Everyone should be able to access the first type.

Agreed. People keep telling me I should pay for DD to go on the year 10 skiing trip which, as a single parent, would obliterate my budget entirely. I manage to afford scouts camps and primary school residentials by not buying myself any new clothes or getting my hair cut more than once a year. I earn a good salary and am definitely not eligible for pupil premium funding but paying the mortgage, utility bills and putting decent food on the table comes before ski trips. My kids are very well rounded, independant, confident kids. School trips that cost ££££ are not needed.

Parents anxiety making children anxious. Less social interaction in person due to phones. Less tolerance to even low risk.

Yet on another thread you said 14 year olds should be chaperoned everywhere by their parents.

And how is their situation made worse by going away with their school?

This was my experience in the 80s , the school 4 night trip away was nothing short of an ordeal.

My DC has been away through Brownies, Guides and school with very mixed experiences; enjoyed everything during the day but couldn't sleep due to crying kids/ kids that wouldn't sleep etc.

It's almost like a ritual, the trips away..it builds resilience and independence. I do get all the parental misgivings but teeth have to be gritted.

Aside from that, I hate all the 'back in my day' stuff. Just because parents didn't care about danger in the 70/80/90's doesn't mean it was better parenting.

Our primary residentials are shorter and cheaper now than they ever have been, and pupil premium children don’t pay at all.

We’re in France also and my kid went on their first trip age 4 (some of the kids in the trip were 3) a 2night/3day ski trip. The kids age 6+ stayed 5 days. She loved it, asked to stag the full 5 days. We don’t have family nearby so she had only ever stayed overnight away from both parents maybe twice in her life but she had a blast. I wasn’t concerned for her although did think the teachers were slightly mad for signing themselves up for it but by all accounts everyone had a great time.

edited to add: I think about 8 kids in the school didn’t go, some of the 3 yr olds and then 2 brothers from an older year. It cost €50 per child. Bargain!

Maybe be cost is an issue but they don't want to say

Another issue to consider is that many girls are getting periods much younger and don’t want to be away from home on a Y5 or Y6 residential dealing with changing, hygiene, etc. i don’t blame them.

Also some are very good, some are over priced and crap. Parents can’t take their kids out term time now so have to pay full price for family holidays. If it was between that and a family holiday I’d choose family.

There are a whole host more things children have to contend with now and people were better off then. Residential trips are expensive particularly when families are struggling to afford family holidays .

Well considering how few trans children there are I seriously doubt it and not all parents are as transphobic as you.

Firstly, well done for volunteering .Huge commitment, often under appreciated

I wonder if some parents are reluctant to send children on residential camps in case a male child / trans girl might be sharing the tent with their daughters. I've read on here that guides policy is not to tell other parents. This would worry me

Genuine question, do you think this could be a factor?

How ignorant. There are many many children in this country handling far more than own brand cereal. Pretty much sums it up as regards the ignorance re the priviledged.

Oh for goodness’ sake, don’t be so silly. That’s not what people are saying at all. And if children have chaotic home lives, then 3 days on a well run school trip is probably no bad thing at all.

And what’s the worst that happens if they’re away for a few days and don’t like it? Putting up with some discomfort and having to deal with own brand breakfast cereal is not a big deal, despite what some posters will have you think. Perhaps the child might come home with a renewed appreciation for what they have?

I have very fond memories of my year 6 residential, one of the best times of primary school. Now I live abroad and schools don't do residentials here (except my DD's class will go to Germany in 9th grade for their exchange project but only one class gets to do that, but they're 15/16 by that point) so less opportunity for children to experience those exciting adventures away from home with their friends. I put DD in scouts as soon as she was old enough (7) so that she could experience that with camps but she has always been very independent and never had an issue being away from home (started sleepovers at 3 with her best friend/aunty who is 3 years older than her) but DS is a completely different child and might be more anxious about such things and has never had the opportunity for a sleepover so hasn't had the chance to test it out.

Can you remember how you felt on that trip at 7? Was it difficult to adjust or did the fun activities make it easier? Just wondering because my DS is 7 and wants to go summer camp this year but he's never slept away from home before and not sure if he'd actually change his mind once the reality set in (he's very keen on his bedtime and morning cuddles with me!)

It’s the length of the trip and the distance. They should have chosen somewhere closer for two or a maximum of 3 nights. Also lockdown kept families together - my 7.5 year old has never stayed at anyone’s house without us, not even grandparents’.

@rickyrickygrimes Yr5/6 are 9-11 yos.