DH sectioned - struggling to cope

This I'm afraid OP. My sister was sectioned numerous times and in my experience, different hospitals vary a lot. I've had some awful experiences as a visitor so I would really thoroughly check it out before considering taking your children. But soon, hopefully he may be able to take short or longer leave, you could perhaps take them to meet him somewhere off site.

Def speak to the staff to find out how he's feeling about a visit and talk to him on the phone first perhaps. Best of luck, it's really difficult for you, but the best place for him and hopefully things will improve soon as the meds kick in.

If it helps think that what happens next is in the hands of the professionals for now. Just focus on you and the DC for a bit. It’s so hard I know.

I don't know if you already know this but as a visitor, there are certain things that you cannot take onto the ward. You can ask what these are next time you call. Don't be alarmed if he's in a bit of a slump when you visit, medication can do this for the first week of so. He will get better, you know. It takes time but it happens. You don't need to worry about him, the nurses will take good care of him.

Do you watch Eastenders at all? Thursday's episode was set in a psych ward and having been a patient myself, I thought it was the most accurate representation of a ward I've seen on tv.

I hope you have plenty of support in the meantime. May recovery be swift for DH.

Oh this is so difficult I’m so sorry OP. I don’t have any useful advice but couldn’t run and read. Sending you love and best wishes for the road ahead.

When you visit they will bring home to a visitors' room to see you, you don't wander through the ward with everyone else. You can take things in but certain things are a risk and not allowed, you will have to show the ward staff or security. He or you can also ask for a tribunal if you feel that he shouldn't be there.

Love to you all. He's in the very best place for assesment, treatment and care.

Please do reach out to everyone - family, friends, manager if you have one, the school. The more everyone understands what's happening the more support you'll have. Does he have parents/ siblings? You have enough on your plate with the your own coping with what's happened and looking after DCs.

And take the expert professionals' advice - if they feel he's ok for a visit, especially given what you said about how he's been towards you, what things from home might help and so on.

Let the children know daddy's not very well, being looked after and they can't go and visit until he's feeling better.
Though on second thoughts I'm not sure that a psychiatric men's ward would be a good place for children.

I couldn't read and run. I used to work in MH as a senior manager in a local Mind association (in fact, in several). Prognosis for bipolar is quite good, nowadays, and many people manage their illness really well. Mind has a nice information page where you can see people talking about their own experiences of living through this - it might help you as you sound as if you are quite scared of meeting other people with MH problems. That's very natural (and let me reassure you about violence - very very few people with MHP are a risk to others.)

Also if you are new to the whole MH world, it might help you to know how many really famous and high achieving people have been diagnosed with bipolar. I won't even tell you - have fun googling and goggling with amazement. Big hugs, and transmit some of those to DH too.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/bipolar-disorder/about-bipolar-disorder/

My dad was sectioned multiple times when I was in my teens. My memories of going to visit him in hospital are not great, and it was stressful not knowing what was happening but otherwise we just got used to it really. I would avoid taking the children to visit him unless you think it would definitely be a positive experience for him and ok for them. And don’t feel guilty about not visiting yet, he has loads of people looking after him. You and the kids will need a lot of help and support, maybe see if a good friend will come round with a bottle of wine after the kids are in bed. That’s what friends are for.

I have been the child in this situation. Firstly, I’d recommend a visit first to check suitability. I was able to visit my parent but they were well enough to go for walks in the grounds accompanied. I remember preferring that to the family room that I found quite upsetting as it was just a side room off the main ward. The men’s ward may well be more volatile than the women’s and not necessarily a great place for kids.

Be prepared for him to be extremely drugged up. I always found the first few weeks of a section my mum would be a bit of a zombie. I would also be prepared to resist discharge if you are in any way concerned by his progress and do not give any indication you are able to provide care when he’s out. We had a horrible phase where my mum was discharged too quickly and would end up back in within 3-4 months.

I would also strongly recommend telling the school and asking for support for the children. It is a very odd thing to go through and they will have a lot of mixed emotions that they may not want to share with you.

Do rely on your family and friends. If they were going through a tough time, you would support them.

Op sending the biggest of hugs to you all x hopefully the mental health unit can get your dh on regular medication and get the bi polar under control. It may take some time though. Also once he's home will he need monitoring regarding the medication?? Went through similar with my sons father took him a couple of years to get sorted but he's okay now. Please contact me if you need to talk. X 🙏💐😔

My friend's son (mid 30s) has bi-polar and is sectioned every year. He refuses to take medicine and it's very cyclical and friend can see it coming on for weeks beforehand. Is this his first episode?
He is in the safest place, your job is looking after yourself and the dc right now

Brother in law has been sectioned a few times when his bipolar goes out of control, each time they have got him right. It started when he was 21 and he is now 76.. DH is in a safe place under 24 hour care, just give them time to get him calmed down and stable, might need a tweek of medication. The medical teams could not have been more caring and helful but make sure you ask questions and have an input into his care plan. It will probably only a matter of time before he is right again but it wont be rushed. You will probably be thankful for the breathing space it gives you.

Hi, my ex was sectioned. He attempted suicide and once sectioned wouldn't see me but saw family members. I was just relieved that he was in a safe place. He came through it all OK.
Please try not to dwell on you not going to see him so far. It's not the easiest thing to face and the shock must have hit you as it happened so quick. I had no idea but just something clicked one day that something wasn't right when he didn't answer his phone all day etc. There's a bit more to it but too outing to say on here.
Please speak to one of your family or friends in rl. You will need their support and they will worry anyway but it gives them to focus to help you. Hopefully it won't happen again but at least you'll recognise the signs earlier next time. He's safe and you and the dcs are safe. He'll be well looked after.
Sending you a big hug.

I've been sectioned before. It feels scary not having control but it also is relieving to relinquish that and allow them to help.

I hope they can come up with a long term plan to stop him from reaching that level again. He is safe there. He's being monitored constantly so you can relax on that front. Though it's true it's not especially fun being in a psych ward.

If he's allowed visitors I hope you can bring him in some permitted home comforts?
If he's on section 2 they have to release him after 28 days as long as he's getting a bit better and accepting the treatment plan. They can also rescind the section at any time before the 28 days.

If he's getting worse they can move to section 3.

I hope things improve for him and you x

Sorry to hear this, OP – that’s really tough. If it is of any comfort, DP’s mum is bipolar and was sectioned when he was 17. He’s now 42 and she has been stable ever since – some ups and downs but nothing serious. It won’t necessarily happen again.

I’m so sorry, OP. It’s very stressful and overwhelming on loved ones too, I know the feeling.

Both my mum and my DP have been sectioned before for different reasons (with both culminating in psychosis) and it’s very scary. Try to focus on the fact he’s getting the help he needs and is being looked after.

While he’s there, also try to focus on self-care and your child. Kids pick up on everything and it can be very stressful on them too. My DD was in primary school during my mum’s first stint in the hospital and it was very difficult for her too.

Former mental health support worker here and the first thing I want to say is that you must have had a real shock and I am not at all surprised that you are feeling overwhelmed and wondering what to do for your husband and your children.It is also really important to take care of yourself and I hope you have family and/or friends who can support you practically and emotionally. I have worked on acute wards and seen people who were really poorly recover and move on with their lives. My role was to support poeole transition from the ward back to their homes when they were discharged and I have seen many people respond well to treatment and be able to get well. As others have said, keep in touch with the hospital who will update you. Thinking of you x

Hi OP. First of all a big handhold, I know this is tough. DH was sectioned two years ago and I found i really big and dramatic and really stressful. What I would say with hindsight is that it was the right thing for him at that time. In hospital he got 24 hour care to recover and then there was a very managed pathway to better care after he left. We had really struggled to get proper care before he was sectioned. Also after the first three weeks he was allowed visits out and to come home for periods. Firstly during the day and then overnight. It can and will get better, but I understand it feels really hard right now.

I'm the other side as it's me with bipolar but my partner spoke about how there were a few times in my last episode where in a blink I became more unwell. It ended up in a voluntary admission.
I know personally I can tolerate quite a lot internally before it's visible externally. I've had professionals comment previously about how their first impressions were that I wasn't that unwell only to dig a bit deeper and realise I'm acutely unwell.

I don't have much experience of this but I just wanted to say it's ok to lower your horizons. Focus on getting through the next minute or the next half hour if you need to. You can shop for just today, or today and tomorrow. You don't have to plan a whole week's meals, you don't need to know what's happening next Thursday or rely to every Whatsapp. Food, sleep and get the kids to school. Anything else is a bonus.

My dad has been sectioned and I found the unit to be really helpful at providing updates and the weekly meetings we had (via zoom) were great for detailed updates and the plan for the coming week. We were really well informed at all times