DH sectioned - struggling to cope

I didn’t see your post before I posted. It sounds like yours is very similar to mine, except I would generally get depressed in the spring and hypomanic in the autumn. An exception to this was the spring I marched to my psychiatrist’s clinic in a cocktail dress laughing my head off and accepting my prescription for olanzapine as if I were accepting an award. Even he was laughing. I’m extremely sensitive to changes in the light and I dread the clocks changing.

Really glad you’re in a much more stable place now and congratulations on your PhD. I had an intense period of stress a couple of years ago and I remember thinking it would be a miracle if I made it through without an episode. I’m not sure who was more surprised when I didn’t - me or my CPN!

This is really important and why OP needs to find out how the ward operates with children visiting, before she takes them. Not wanting to scare anyone but they can sometimes be quite daunting places with a lot of very distressed people in different states of ill health. Some may absolutely be inappropriate for children to be around (I've been given a panic button on some wards) and the hospital should make arrangements to ensure they have a private space away from other patients to facilitate children's visits.

I'm glad you're feeling supported by this thread though OP and I hope I'm not making you feel more overwhelmed and anxious, but it's important to be realistic and prepared. Not just for seeing your DH, but for there possibly being some seriously unwell people around, depending on the ward. You'll be able to tell a lot by the time staff have to speak to you and how helpful they are on the phone. Some wards are fabulous though, and I really hope that's the case for you. I do second all the other posts saying you absolutely must not feel guilty for not visiting straight away. Put yourself and your children first and let things settle.

I have bipolar disorder and have been sectioned several times.

one of my biggest fears that this will just keep happening. I know he’s safe right now, but I just keep thinking about what comes next and how we stop it from getting to this point again.

How long have you known him? Is he on medication? People can go for years between episodes.

Stress is my biggest trigger. The others are staying up all night, moving time zones and changing seasons. It’s quite common for people to have episodes in the spring. It’s thought that bipolar disorder is caused by a dysfunctional circadian rhythm.

If he gets hypomania before the mania (most people do) there are tactics that can help nip it in the bud. They mostly revolve around reducing stimulation, so, for example, not listening to music, lying in a dark room, wearing sunglasses when out, not drinking caffeine or alcohol, limiting stress and generally making life as dull as possible. If this doesn’t work then taking a PRN medication for a few days can bring it down. I have a box of olanzapine and a box of clonazepam in my medicine cabinet for this reason. I’ve only needed to do this twice in two years and on both occasions it’s prevented me from going into a full blown episode.

How has he been managing it up until this point?

I would recommend contacting BipolarUK. They also have a forum with a section for family I believe.

Hi @ResidentPike hope you’re okay. I’m sorry to hear that your husband is unwell.

I visit lots of different NHS mental health units and wards as part of my job. There not as scary as people think, although in my honest opinion they’re not the most therapeutic places.

Firstly, try and find out what section he’s on, so you’ll have a rough idea of how long he may be there. For example if he’s on Section 2 he may be in hospital for up to 28 days.

Also find out what type of ward it is. (Acute/PICU etc.) there will be info online about the ward, who the manager is, photos etc. However, the staff should be able to give you an information pack for carers and relatives. Have a look at the CQC rating and the latest CQC inspection and comments.

He’ll be under a Responsible Clinician who’ll be responsible for your husbands care whilst he’s on the ward. He’ll be invited to MDT (multidisciplinary team) meetings, usually, once a week to make decisions around his care.

Be prepared for him to be medicated. He may become spaced out or zombie-fied if the RC prescribe him strong stuff. Sleeping pills such as Zopiclone, antipsychotics and antidepressants are the ones I’ve found they prescribe the most.

As I said, mental health wards aren’t the most therapeutic environments. Usually they have Occupational Therapists or Activity Coordinators that organise activities for the patients. It’s normally 1-2 activity per weekday (not much happens on a weekend) such as a quiz, music therapy session, yoga, skittles. So most of the time the patients are left with little to do apart from watch TV. Depending on the ward- some have their own gyms, games rooms etc. where patients can use when they want. There’s honestly not much individual therapy sadly.

If you can, I would try and take him things to keep him occupied. (Depending they’re not on the blanket restrictions list, or a ligature risk). Books, colouring/art supplies, puzzles. Also any nice toiletries if his ward allows, as the soap and hygiene products in hospitals are so basic.

Encourage him to keep any of his valuables in his safe/locker if he has one, but if not, ask him to keep them in the nurses office. Patients aren’t aloud in the nurses office (usually can only be opened with a key) as sometimes theft can be rife on wards.

I really hope he’s on the road to recovery and you get change to visit him soon. Some wards also allow children in visiting rooms - just make sure you’re in regular contact with the staff as all visits must be approved beforehand. You just can’t randomly turn up.

Also, he may be approved S17 leave. Which means he may be allowed escorted leave for an hour (e.g go for a walk in the local area with the staff) or 6 hour unescorted leave, where he can leave the ward and come home for a few hours. It will all depend on his mood and how he is responding to medication and treatment.

Wishing you all the best!

Hope this link is helpful for you aswell:

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/legal-rights/sectioning/about-sectioning/

@ResidentPike Mental health wards are slightly different to normal wards in that everyone has their own bedroom. There will also be a shared “living room” with a tv, armchairs and usually a dining table for crafts and board games, a dining room for meals and a larger meeting room for ward rounds and other assessments, as well as other more “medical spaces” like clinic rooms. Most units also have “family rooms” for visits and many will also have a “therapy kitchen” with a patient fridge where they can store their own snacks and drinks and a microwave for ready meals, although, like in all NHS hospitals, all meals are also provided. I would take him in some things from home. NHS bedding in particular can be quite rustly and uncomfortable, so maybe a blanket? He might also be quite bored so bring him something (safe!) to do, although pretty much all MH wards run a programme of activities and therapy sessions.

In the long run, I would attend ward rounds and maybe ask to speak to his psychiatrist. If there’s concerns about treatment compliance, some medications can be given in “longer acting” formats, although most people do understand that the medications help them stay well and so keep taking them.

For now, one foot in front of the other and keep talking to the ward x

My husband wasn’t sectioned but he’d phoned a counsellor who told him to give me the phone . They told me to take him to A and E and when there, they recommended strongly he stay in the mental health unit.
He was unable to make a decision and looked to me to make it for him. I took the consultant’s recommendation and had him admitted. He was in a locked ward, on suicide watch every 15 minutes . He stayed for 3 weeks
. It was awful but the right decision. He doesn’t really remember it as he was having a complete mental breakdown. I remember it only too well. He was off work completely for 3 months then went back on a part time basis for 3 months, gradually working his way up to full time hours.
This was over 15 years ago. He still takes antidepressants and will probably be on them for life. They were reduced from the heavy dose at the time of the breakdown and are now a maintenance dose . He does still have down days or short spells but nothing at all like he had at the time of his breakdown. And he has never needed another hospital stay.

Actually, no. There's usually a private family room just outside the unit where the patient can meet family. Including stuff for the children. Of course only one patient/their family can use it at a time

Oh and also Heavy Light by Horatio Clare is essential reading when you’re ready. It documents his descent into full mania and recovery from it, but it’s exquisitely written and very positive. It was the turning point in my ability to handle DH - predominantly in saying enough is enough sooner than the first occasion and handing him over to the professionals. The second half is dedicated to treatments other than the heavy duty medicines. It’s very enlightening.

Hi OP.
I have bipolar and BPD.
I've been sectioned quite a few times. I've always wanted to see my husband but I appreciate people are different.

Is your husband compus mentis at all? Or is he in full blown mania? If so I would leave it abit longer until he is settled.

Would he be able to follow conversation etc, asking for you, has capacity ( of sorts)? If so I would definitely go to see him.
I wouldn't go for long visits, short at first then extend but let your husband lead on this. It's important to let him have as much autonomy over his own mental health needs as possible.

He will have a designated mental health nurse on the ward. He will also have a consultant meeting every week ( on a designated day)

Well done for calling crisis OP, it's what was required to get him the help he needs.

I have worked on a mental health ward and a good friend who has bipolar has been sectioned twice. The first time they booked a flight to somewhere 10-12 hrs away and their partner had to go collect them. When unwell people with mental health issues can really put themselves in harms way. There is typically also no insight (they believe there is nothing wrong) which makes it hard for families to manage. The ward represents somewhere he can be assessed, have therapy and be given treatment. When his insight returns things will get better. Focus on yourself and your kids. Goodluck and come here to chat to strangers who can try to support you.

Your husband is also entitled to a mental health advocate. Ask the ward about it. Edited to say it may not be relevant at this stage but I found out much later on and it would have been helpful to know earlier. Our local Mind were also very knowledgeable and kind.

He is safe right now, so although it might be hard, please make sure you look after yourself and your children.

Do they understand or know that dad is unwell and in hospital until he gets better?

There's no right or wrong way to feel, if you want to try and carry on as normal if it keeps you busy and your mind occupied, that's OK. If you want to cuddle up on the sofa with your kids and watch films, that's OK too.

Maybe when you speak to his care team ask if you are able to visit if he's stable enough, or can you arrange a phone call?

Take care of yourself on all this, is so easy to concentrate on supporting him and your children, but don't let yourself burn out either.

I think it's a shock all around when a loved one has their first admission. Take things slow, take time to process things and maybe look to see if there's any counselling you can access to help you process it all.

I've been under mental health teams since 2006 and it was 2021 that I had my admission. There's been a few occasions when it's been close (once when I absolutely should have been!) and I've always managed to just about cling on in the community. Despite nearly 20 years of being mentally ill it's when it got real for me.
Lifestyle and medication compliance makes a big difference for long term stability for me. My mood was very unstable when I was first diagnosed but I was doing a PhD but I was under immense amount of pressure, working crazy hours ridiculously stressed it was a recipe for disaster. I was depressed every year August to January then hypomanic- manic every April to June.

I finished and moved into regular employment 8 years ago and I've had just 2 episodes since! A mild hypomanic episode 7 years ago almost exactly when I moved house, moved job sites the same week the clocks changed. My mood is sensitive to daylight as soon as the days start to get longer my brain starts fizzing nowadays it does come to anything but this year when it was coupled with change and stress it was enough to tip me over. Luckily I recognise stress as a trigger and got a medication increase quite quickly and it didn't escalate. The second episode was depression after having my daughter that led to my admission. I developed severe depression and psychosis which didn't respond to medication. There were two advantages to the admission - keeping me safe and continuous support and much greater access to psychiatrist support which allowed quicker and bolder medication changes. I saw her twice a week compared to every 6-10 weeks in the community. In 10 weeks I went from treatment resistant to home making significant improvements and started a very slow phased return back to work a week after getting home - in hindsight I probably needed a bit longer off! I've been stable ever since and last year reduced from 4 medications back to 1 and have even weathered some stressful periods without relapse.

I did not cope.

I divorced him.

Life got so much better for me and my son.

I’ve been in a very similar situation. Get in touch with your local carers network as soon as possible. They were marvellous with me and have continued to support me through bumpy patches. It is a huge shock - I had PTSD from DH’s exploits as I had to physically stop him doing away with himself. Everyone will tell you to look after yourself but it’s not always easy to do in reality. Do what you can for yourself. DH wasn’t sectioned, they felt I could cope with him (with an 18 month old!) and looking back I really wish they had. It does get better - DH has never come close since. Hugs and handhold.

My DH had a psychotic episode, police were called and he voluntarily agreed to go into mental health unit. I was told at the time if he hadn't he would have been sectioned, he ended up in there for 3 weeks. At the time my children were 10,12 and 14.
Please please tell friends and family as you will need support. It was an incredibly difficult time for my children, particulary my youngest who witnessed the worst of DH's psychosis as she was off sick from school that day and she was diagnosed with ptsd a couple of years later because of it.
I had a friend who took my youngest out with her daughter to give her some normality and I shall forever be grateful to her for that.

The unit did have a room away from the ward so the children could visit during the second week but it did not go well as they were wary and frightened of him although he had not done anything to them. I did not take them back after that visit.
I did visit on my own three times a week and he got visits from other family members.
My DH has not been the same since, more anxious, suspicious of people but he went back to work after two months and has had no more episodes and is no longer on medication.

Take care

Hi OP, daughter of manic-depressive / bipolar dad here. First episode I was aware of was when i was 13 and I’m now late 40s. As other posters have said, he is absolutely in the best place. Now is the time for you to gather your strength a little and focus on kids and self-care. But visit as soon as you can, without the kids. Mental health wards are not always great due to other patients. Even if you go and DH doesn't want to see you at that time, he’ll know you’ve been because staff will tell him. Once he is discharged, he should be assigned a community psychiatric nurse (CPN). I found CPNs to be invaluable support (I was next of kin for dad all my adult life). There is lots of support. I would research the illness too and any medication DH is prescribed. Knowing what you are dealing with empowers you. Please take comfort in family and friends. And remember, this illness is not a sign of weakness. My dad continued to be an amazing parent. Sending you big hugs. You are not alone.

OP know that you are not alone, it's a scary and overwhelming time for you but with rest and recuperation and the right medication, your DH will be well again. I've a family member with bipolar and they have been sectioned a couple of times. They've now been stable for many years with the right medication. Don't feel bad about leaning on family and friends - they will want to help and be a listening ear for you. If they can take the children out and bring you some meals, all the better. Please look after yourself 💐 ring the unit and talk to the staff about visiting/phone calls. They should be able to reassure you and give you an update on how your DH is doing. He's probably exhausted from a manic episode and needs a lot of rest.

My relatives neighbour was sectioned several times he would come out immediately stop his medication and begin the behaviour again they split up in the end he genuinely did not see why he should take his medication he was "fine" without it apparently it was a rocky few years

Hi OP
Im sorry you’re having such a rough time. My husband was sectioned last year, our son was ten at the time. I was devastated but it did get easier. When you can, try and visit. The first time is hard and other visits will be too but I think you’ll find it easier seeing the reality of it rather than what you imagine. Have you let school know so your kids have support there too? It might also be worth getting in touch with your council so your kids get young carer support.
The wards don’t usually allow children on them but when your husband is well enough to have leave to a family room then that might be the time to take them but in the meantime they could send cards and pictures. Maybe take some photos in for him too?
Most of all take care of yourself xx

A big hand hold OP, this is tough on you. 💐
My late mother had bipolar and my youngest brother has bipolar too - both have been sectioned several times over the years.
The medications take a while to begin working, but in the meantime call the hospital and have a chat to his nurse to find out when you can visit.
I would suggest not taking children to visit, as these hospitals are not really suitable environments for children.

How did he go from being at home to being in hospital getting sectioned what happened in between x

My Mum was sectioned, and the best advice I can give you is to please look after the children and yourself right now. He's getting all the care he needs, he's safe and this is time for you to have some respite. It's all been a horrid shock but you need to catch your sleep back up - it's not going to be easy when he comes home, so use this time wisely.