DH sectioned - struggling to cope

How are you doing resident Pike?

When my Dad was terminally ill and I was spending long long days in the hospice, someone on here advised me to download some mindless games like crosswords/Bubble Witch Saga/Candy Crush sort of thing and actually it did really help pass time when I needed something else to focus on. My brain couldn't cope with reading or taking any form of information in but a game worked wonders! I found the first visit to see Mum was terrifying but much easier to go back afterwards. Mum was sectioned/in a secure unit for about 3 months, the medication she was on took some time to level her out and when she came home, she was a stranger for a long time but we all got there in the end. This will be a long road, so the more you look after yourself now, the better.

It takes time to pick up the triggers some of them can be quite subtle. If I come home with fancy new notebooks and pens my partner raises an eyebrow and checks in with me. When manic I've had grand plans of writing books, recipe books, french phrase book (didn't speak French!) all sorts
For me there's a way I sit which is different when my mood is high I'm crouched like I'm ready to pounce. It's taken quite a bit of time to get here
Once it's beyond slightly high I'm really good at telling everyone yes slightly high nothing to worry about even when it's escalating. I can say the right things to the right people and the severity can fly under the radar

I was under the early intervention team for the first three years of my diagnosis. Once things had settled after an episode they did a debrief and I found that helpful. On e he's on the road to recovery it might be worth asking about a joint session with a member of his care team to go through what happened and the different warning signs and what action plan he has in place.

It's a learning curve and at times a steep learning curve but you don't have to have it figured out over night. I just set myself the goal of learning one new thing each episode. I don't have to get it perfectly right but if I could do one small thing that was better than last time it was encouragement that I'm learning and heading in the right direction.

Also don't beat yourself up about not picking up on the warning signs sooner, it starts so subtly and although it may be clear in hindsight it is very difficult to notice until you're at the stage where it just escalates through the roof!
DH decided to choose a bank holiday weekend for it to escalate too when most of the mental health team were off so there was an extra day of everything turning to shit.

I'd like to think I'd notice the signs were it to happen again but honestly I'm not sure as I was taken so off guard before.

Haven’t read the full thread and too tired now, just wanted to say that a few years ago I supported a friend during a MH crisis that resulted in her being sectioned. You DH is in the right place and will be able to access help much more quickly in hospital. He is being looked after by people who are experienced at dealing with exactly this sort of situation and know how to bring someone back from the brink so to speak. It is very scary and utterly draining trying to support someone through it though. Be kind to yourself and make sure you have people to talk to. It’s hard being in the supporting role. Big hugs.

my friend is fine now BTW 😃

Sending you lots of love @ResidentPike, I've been where you are when my DP (now my DH) was sectioned a few years ago, it's a very scary thing to go through.

It deteriorated for him very rapidly too, although once he was actually in hospital he came down very quickly with the medication. It was a relief for me at first and I had a couple of days break as the episode leading up to the section was so terrifying, but then I visited regularly - he was a bit confused at first but this gradually got better. As soon as he was allowed Section 17 leave I took him out whenever possible too.

Be prepared recovery may seem slow - after DH went so far up he went very down for a long time also and there will be a period of waiting for meds to fully start working there too - it was a very dark time for both of us but we are now a good few years on and DH has been religious about sticking to his meds and things are better than ever now.

Even though he didn’t say much, I think just being there meant something

Almost certainly. As PP said, he’ll be exhausted from the mania comedown and, depending on what state he was in when he arrived, they might have given him a fast-acting drug like haloperidol to calm him down which leaves you feeling very out of it. I was injected with it a few times and I remember people being around me and appreciating them talking to me, but I was too tired to form a sentence and spent a lot of time staring into space. I seem to recall it took a couple of days to feel ‘with it’ again.

It sounds like you’re handling it really well and doing all the right things. I hope you’re able to have a restful night.

Thinking of you OP. I was sectioned 29 years ago for 28 days. I have never been sectioned since and have in fact been completely free of medication for 23 years now. I don't have many memories of that time as I was really unwell but I seem to remember there was support offered on discharge.

Yes, well done OP and fantastic idea to take pictures from the dc - that clearly made a difference for him. He will remember and be thankful the effort when he's feeling better. Easy to say, but try not to worry too much, much of his current state will be due to the medication itself - it will wipe him out before it levels out. As others have said, mania itself is utterly exhausting. Just know that he's in the best place, receiving the care and nutrition he needs and will hopefully be over the worst soon.

@ResidentPike massive hugs. There is a community of carers and loved ones on Facebook that support each other that may be useful.

POPS UK - a private group for parents, family and friends of psychosis/Schizophrenia sufferers to connect, communicate and share resources and experiences.

Have a look at some mindful activities. I've found them quite helpful over the years in processing things.
There's things like mindfully sitting and drinking a cup of tea focusing on the feel of the cup the heat of the steam taste of the tea, holding it in your mouth and feel it cooling. It can help ground you especially when things feel like they are changing.
I get on better with more active things and to give my brain time to stop I need to keep my hands busy and find colouring and puzzle books give me focus whilst my neurons do the shuffling of what's going on

Well done on getting that first visit out of the way, your anxiety must have been sky high! It's a good idea to keep visits short for now. Your DH is recovering from a manic period and probably has hardly slept in the weeks leading up to his hospitalisation, no wonder he's exhausted. The meds he is taking may also cause him to have a flat emotionless affect. I bet he was glad to see you even if he didn't show it in his normal way. Look after yourself lovely, all this stress is exhausting for you too 💐

Been where you are, but a long time ago now. It will get better, but the hard thing is that nobody can give you a time frame. Hang on in, look after yourself and your wee ones, and try to trust that the doctors will be able to help him.

The thing with mania is the body survives on the bare minimum and then when you start to come down you have quite a deficit in sleep and energy especially cognitive energy. As I was coming out of one of my manic episodes I slept for 26h and was very confused when I woke up and found it was still night time and had lost a day! The meds to bring you down are quite sedating and can dull your cognitive functions.

20 minutes is a good amount of time for the first visit. Get plenty of rest and take care of yourself too. Do you have anyone you can talk to about this? It's good that he wants to see you again. Hopefully next time you'll see a shift even if it's small and slow.

Snacks and activities are good things to take in. The food isn't always the best and you can have quite a bit of down time. I always find books I've read before easier when I'm recovering from an episode. When I went into hospital I reread the harry potter books.

Children will not be able to visit, nor should you take them. If he’s having a good day when you visit, you could call/video call them for a quick hello. Definitely check out what you are and are not allowed to take as could be quite strict. Label everything, things easily go missing. Be prepared for this to be to longer than the 28 days of a section 2, he won’t necessarily be sent home at the end, he could move to a section 3 for further treatment, or stay as an informal patient if he has capacity to agree to that and isn’t ready to go home. Be prepared for progress/getting better to not be linea. Have a look at Mind - lots of useful information in terms of what to expect and rights. In my recent experience, communication about what is happening is not always forthcoming, and info and help post discharge even worse. Reading up snd figuring out entitlement ourselves has been only way we have got anywhere.

Yes, good luck OP, hope it's not too upsetting. In a way you're doing this for future DH - he will really appreciate your going right now, even if he might not seem like it today.

Just make sure you have something nice to come back home to later. Lots of self care and treats for you and DC.

OP I hope all goes well later. It must be scary but knowing what you're dealing with will help you to plan and access the right support for your family.

I'll be thinking of you.

Your rights as a nearest relative should have been explained to you by the AMHP or the local authority who employs the AMHP.
Im sorry it wasn’t.
I frequently support relatives/carers of people detained or voluntarily admitted to mental health units - no one in those units wants anyone on there longer than is necessary ie to stabilise the person so that they are safe enough to receive support from the community mental health teams and their GP.
What happens next? Your husband has the right to appeal his section 2, if he does not get better he may be detained for longer under a section 3.
I would call your local adult social services and explain you are the next of kin and ask to speak with the AMHP who detained and conveyed your husband - they have a legal responsibility to explain things to you and involve you.

I have been sectioned a number of times, under various sections of the Mental Health Act. Although not pleasant, it's not as scary as people think. It's just a hospital ward at the end of the day, albeit more restrictive for obvious reasons.

He might seem a little bit 'out of it' whilst he adjusts and gets on the right meds etc. But he'll stabilise and all will be ok. You will all be coming through the other side of this soon enough 💐

Hi OP,

I have been there recently with my husband. I understand how you feel. It was the most painful and horrific time ever.

My husband has been home for a few months now, but still unwell- although not in mania or psychosis anymore.

It was fucking traumatising. I feel for you so so much. I am a little further down the road, and there were times I felt I couldn't cope, but I did and you will too.

His stay was long- that's a bit of a story! (most patients came and went within a few weeks) and he was extremely unwell, and the things I witnessed and what he went through has left us both with a lot of trauma, but we are getting through it.

However, a few months ago I had little hope that things would improve. They have though and I am less shell shocked and we are healing together slowly.

It was just so awful and the way I coped was by talking. I remember the nights crying, not being able to sleep, the fear and the difficulty of supporting children through it too. The grief is what got me the most. Psychosis obviously caused my husband to act in ways that he never usually would and it felt like grief- it was ambiguous loss. I am pleased to say that that part is over now.

I would be more than happy to talk to you if you feel it would help. Feel free to PM me if you like. I am more than happy to share more or just listen to you. You have got so much great advice here, but I wish I had someone to talk to who completely gets it.

You will be ok, you will get through this.