To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

What yucky stuff is coming out into the swimming pool? Blimey. A fully closed in bikini pant isn’t holding in faecal matter etc if that’s what you are referring to…

I hope you told your child in no uncertain terms never to point at people and ask questions about their appearance.

now THAT is completely unacceptable behavior and should be nipped in the bud right now.

YANBU - I don’t want to see strangers with their arses hanging out (male or female) anywhere, let alone at kids swimming session. Grim.

YABU, sorry. I’d maybe have been slightly surprised myself at a typical British swimming pool, rather than one on the continent - but thinking about it, why is it really a problem? It’s an arse, everyone has one. For most kids (and indeed a lot of adults), the sight of an almost bare bum when everyone else is more covered up is just going to cause giggles if they noticed it at all. It’s not going to horrify your children as it’s only sexual if it’s in a sexual context (rather than just swimming or walking around a public pool).

And yes, I feel the same about bare chests too - everyone has nipples as well. I wouldn’t want to show my bum or boobs to the world as societal influence has made me ashamed of their sagging. But I don’t think it’s at all a big deal if others do.

I am annoyed that nudity is now often so sexualised though. Maybe I’m just an old hippy/non-conformist but while I can perhaps see the logic of covering the genital area (for hygiene reasons if nothing else), I’ve never understood why the rest is mandatory for “modesty”, rather than just for personal preference. I personally prefer to cover my own upper arms and thighs too in public, even when swimming - but I don’t expect others to do the same!

I think your Husband is a bit ridiculous for saying he’s embarrassed to be with you at the gym now. I wouldn’t complain I can kind of see your point.
Chasing a toddler/small human around, why would you want something that’s not hugely supportive of your bits? Bikini’s move, especially the smaller ones.
Unless she doesn’t intend to engage in the pool with her child, that’s a whole different conversation.

Oh you’re so cool that you wouldn’t notice a thing, wish I was that cool. I’d think it was funny and gross and badly judged.

Yeah no one's go to choice for practicality is a string chafing between their bum cheeks

I think they are very common now, I’ve even seen young teen girls walk around with thong bikinis on holiday and at the local pool to the point you can see everything as those types never really contain anything especially if swimming/going on slides, I remember a young girl losing her g string bikini on holiday after going down a slide, she was mortified. I’d be constantly worried something like that would happen to me 🤣

id probably just roll my eyes and get on with my day, life is too short to worry about how much skin someone else is showing. That goes for if a man wants to wear a mankini or the tiniest of thongs too 🤣

She didn't have it out for her own comfort did she?

She's knows it's seen as attractive and sexual, of course she does.

I don't want to see anyone's arse hanging out while swimming. Or anywhere really. Men or women's.

It's not bloody empowering, the total opposite. Anyone who doesn't realise that is insane.

Why would I care? How else would a penis be? It wouldn't be hanging at me. It would be hanging because that what penises do. And the analogy only works if the lady's vulva was hanging out.

It wasn't. It was a bottom. Everyone has one. So no, i wouldnt care if a man was in a thong.

And no, I wouldn't care about a speedo or a mankini either. Pools are full of chlorine, as long as it isn't touching me, it's no more or less sanitary behind some fabric.

And the lady in question was "prancing" on a lounger. Lord knows how OP saw so much from the pool angle.

Can't be bothered to read through the whole thread but-

Would those who would fight for the right for women to wear thongs to the pool feel the same about seeing men's arse cheeks hanging out in front of them/ their children?

Genuinely interested.

Edited as autocorrect changed arse to arsenal

I find it interesting how people here are praising the attitudes of certain European countries in regards to nudity and body shaming.

They are two separate things and I wouldn't praise these countries regarding the latter.

Yes, they may be more accepting of nudity, but some of those European countries mentioned are the worst for actual body shaming.

People say it is just more honest... But I find it downright rude when people think it's okay to tell you that you're fat or your teeth are crooked or any number of physical "observations".

Okay, they may not complain about seeing someone's butt cheeks, but they certainly won't hold back from telling you if they think said butt cheeks are too large.

There's benefits to both cultures and we could all learn from each other I think.

It’s a horrible saying, but I don’t think it’s referring to her vagina.

I’ve been here too long, because all I could think of is, do you say to her ‘your minge!’

Would you be as equally ‘cool’ and laid back if it was a man wearing a thong with his penis hanging in a pouch? I somehow doubt it……

I agree entirely OP. It’s revolting and has been normalised by porn. Even your DC was horrified! Imagine if a bloke wandered round the pool with his cock & balls dangling out

What a childish conclusion to jump to. If having a nice body means I need to show 99.9% of it others and make people inc. children feel uncomfortable then no thanks!

So you'd be fine with a man at the pool in a mankini? Or a posing pouch?

@Redpeach Its your own internalised shame. It's just a body.

Where's the body shaming? Op didn't comment on the lady's body, just the clothing.

I expect very few mumsnetters would be happy if a man rocked up to a parent and toddler swim session in a mankini

Your language also makes you sound like an incel.

I'd have sorry for her, that she didn't have the dignity/self worth/judgement to wear something more appropriate, but beyond that I can't say it would bother me and I doubt my child would have noticed for more than a brief moment

I'd be disappointed in the pool for allowing the things,.but not sure I could have worked up the energy to complain. She's mainly just making a fool of herself

Oh she was prancing!

Is that like how all women in the Daily Star are flaunting their bodies?

Do toddlers not know that everyone has a bottom?

What are you on "showing everyone what she had for breakfast". What did she have? Bagel? Breakfast show in the belly so I hope the menz were all covered up?

Your husband might love your figure but he's clearly not attracted to your attitude.

I mean, in reality, absolutely that would be very weird to witness in person at a children's swim session indoors.

However this is the internet, so any observation will interpreted in the most extreme way possible, in either direction.

Pool staff are not going to police bums. I'd never have complained but I'd probably have mentioned it to a mate or DH later on, because indeed, it would be out of the ordinary to see someone with their bum out someplace which was not a blazing hot beach somewhere tropical.

Who would I silently judge if tacky swimwear was outlawed at my local pool?