To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

It says they haven’t been brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing they have to dress a certain way, show off their body or be noticeable to be deemed of value

This snotty, superior attitude pisses me off much more than someone's arse cheeks on display.
That silly little women can't possibly think for themselves, that they have to have been brainwashed into thinking that they like what they like, what they feel comfortable in.
It's infantilizing, insulting. Patronising.
Either women have minds of their own or they don't.
Feminism my arse. no pun intended

Contrast it with male swimming costumes which have become larger over recent years.

Women are allowed to speak and hold opinions as well as choosing to dress to a sexualised ideal.

'Shrill' is a highly misogynistic label to attach to a woman. Women are right to speak out against the pornification of their everyday lives.

Schis kebab, you’re one shrill pearl clutcher

You’re not in charge of what’s empowering so sit down.

I hate these swimsuits and find them really tacky and attention seeking. However YABU because I don’t see why people can’t wear them if they want to.

Lovely though many of them are, that's one thing that I find a bit euw about dogs: the fact that they're basically walking around wherever they go with their anus exposed and coming into contact with any number of surfaces - but that is normal for dogs, who don't routinely wear clothes.

I cannot believe that we'd come to a point where intelligent human beings actually choose to be the same as dogs: to walk around with their bumholes open to the elements, visible to everybody nearby and directly touching anything they sit on or brush past.

Not everything's about sexualisation, and if a woman's body being shown off/being noticeable and not suitably hidden away is sex to you, that says more about you tbh.

Same with the flasher in the park? Just because he doesn't feel the need to hide his body away, it's you and your obsession that is choosing to see any sexual links or motives?

Well, people get to form judgments about pursed lips just as much as about skimpily-covered arses. And I'm judging you to be a very unpleasant person.

Yeah it says loads about me. Mainly that I am not desperate for attention and make approval.

People can wear what they like. I don't believe I said they couldn't.
But do not kid yourself that they will not be judged on it. They will.
And people have as much right to form a judgement and "purse their lips" as people have to wear what they like.
Butt out swimwear is designed to get a response. The wearer doesn't get to dictate what that response is.

And of course it's Sexual.

Tits and arses are sold as sexual. They are sexual characteristics of the female body.
There is particular arse fetish at the moment to the point that peope are getting surgery at the extreme end and those hideous and ridiculous leggings that sit in your arse crack at the other.

Why do women's bodies have to be "shown off". Bit needy that.
Can they not just be humans? People?

This kind of view is a total pretence. A thong bikini is sexualised in a way that total nudity is not. Is is absolutely not appropriate for a children's swimming session.

If this is a family that 'celebrates' and focuses on the mum's sexual desirability in this way, the children will surely be negatively impacted in their relationships as adults. They will have all sorts of assumptions about the purpose and value of women in relationships and in public.

A burkini and a thong bikini are 2 sides of the same coin. All about the male gaze and nothing to do with the activity the woman is undertaking.

As someone who grew up in a Northern European country where naturism is considered no big deal, I feel a bit sorry for you.

what harm were you complaining of? What is the worst that could have happened?

This. I might have given it a few seconds eyebrow raise and wouldn’t be my choice but then I would have just got on with my day 🤨🤷‍♀️ Mountain out of a mole hill much…

It does say more about them. It says they haven’t been brainwashed by the patriarchy into believing they have to dress a certain way, show off their body or be noticeable to be deemed of value.

And again, context matters. Wearing a thong bikini at the beach or on holiday is fine, wearing it at a toddler swimming session is not.

I am so not a fan of butt-floss. I find it unhygienic. You're sitting your basically bare ass on surfaces that other people sit on too.

In my opinion , fighting against concepts/social constructs is completely different to shaming /complaining about a specific woman.

On the opposite side of this, a lot of women oppose the covering up of muslim women and feel very strongly about it , would you think OP was right to complain to reception if this woman was wearing a burkini? The messaging ,connotations and influence of peer pressure can have just as many negative consequences as the thong, if not more. Because no woman was stoned to death for wearing a thong bikini…yet.

Because women aren't all one hive mind, we all have different tastes and if we want to wear clothes we feel good/confident in we can without lip pursing/, telling us to cover up?!
Not everything's about sexualisation, and if a woman's body being shown off/being noticeable and not suitably hidden away is sex to you, that says more about you tbh.

"Prancing" 🙄
Sounds like you spent half your time watching her and not minding your own.
Then to go home and talk to your husband about her... she's taking up far too much of your headspace.
People with their bodies out in a swimming pool, oh noes

😅 I still think of that when I’m on holiday!

On the one hand we complain about men's constant sexualization of women. The medias constant sexualization.
And then defend women's rights to wear hyper sexualised clothing in inappropriate settings. Why do some women crave that kind of attention. It's depressing.

can you clarify for us - was she topless, with the only garment being worn this skimpy g-string? or was she wearing a two piece outfit, incl the 'thong'? posters seem to be assuming one or the other, but you aren't very specific in your OP

Why does anyone want their arse hanging out at a swimming pool? I appreciate on holiday some people don't want tan lines - but it's really not an issue at a pool is it. It's just completely unnecessary.

I don't think so. I think she thought the same as I would have, it's inappropriate. Where what you like at the beach, I couldn't care less.

There's an old man in our local park who likes to wear nothing at all but a long coat, which he proudly opens up whenever there are other people nearby.

I'm just so glad that he has the body confidence to wear what he feels comfortable in and doesn't feel shamed by ridiculous prudes (who are likely just jealous and uptight anyway).

If anybody doesn't want to see, all they need to do is not look and concentrate on their own business.

Oh, wait........

Yes, I know that buttocks are not genitals, but when your actual bumhole is virtually on show, any normal person is going to realise that it's a private body part that strangers don't want to see. A ringpiece is not technically genitals, but it's very close to them; and surely merits the same level of privacy.

As PP said, it's particularly unhelpful when we each children that the area your pants cover is private and nobody other than your parents, doctor or other trusted adults should ever see it when helping you in appropriate circumstances - then somebody strolls down the side of a public swimming pool with nothing but some cheesewire over their starfish. Remember too that young children will be at eye-level to the middle of an adult's body, so if it's a crowded pool - or they're just being little children without any sense of personal space - they'll be confronted by it square-on.

Challenging harmful stereotypes is not pointless and silly. Yes we all know that that fashion and social expectations (in Western culture, at least) dictate that, unlike men, women can / should show more flesh and try to look sexually attractive at all times. For whose benefit? Women's? I don't think so. Why should we just accept it and (even worse), allow ourselves to be brainwashed into rebranding it as empowering?

The fact that wearing revealing stuff 'isn't really a thing for men', but is a thing for women, isn't accidental. It didn't just turn out that way by chance. The same way women having to completely cover their bodies, hair or faces didn't come about by chance. It's because women have always been treated as property or entertainment.

I mean... wear what you want. I wouldn't actually complain about the woman's arse on show, but I think it looks bloody stupid and I find the fashion for it depressing.

If you must be judgmental, do it silently and in your own head. The need to Complain To The Manager just because your delicate sensibilities were offended is utterly absurd behaviour. If the other mum's costume was against the rules they're able to step in themselves without your help. I assume they roundly mocked you once you were out of earshot and quite right too.