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AIBU?

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To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

558 replies

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:48

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
CarrieOnComplaining · 22/03/2025 15:52

I would have rolled my eyes inwardly but not complained
And
If something is worthy of complaint can you really not just say something directly rather than going to staff?

Do they have a policy?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 22/03/2025 15:52

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:45

Interesting take on that.

I took "jealous" to mean of this woman's cracking bod rather than jealous of the cracking bod taking an action I personally wouldn't because I've attached a moral standpoint and my own opinion to it.

Where did the OP say the woman had a 'cracking bod' though? And even if the woman did have a nice body, why would the OP be jealous of her rather than of other women there with good bodies who were wearing nice swimwear without their arses hanging out? Baffling.

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 15:51

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:45

Interesting take on that.

I took "jealous" to mean of this woman's cracking bod rather than jealous of the cracking bod taking an action I personally wouldn't because I've attached a moral standpoint and my own opinion to it.

But OP never said she had a ‘cracking bod’. For all we know she was the size of a small semi detached with enough cellulite to rival the craters on the moon. People have just assumed she has a cracking bod and the OP jealous because she was wearing a thong. It assumes us fatties will cover up more because we are less aesthetically pleasing, where’s the body positivity and empowerment people are harping on about here?

Devonshiregal · 22/03/2025 15:50

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:54

Jealous of not walking around wearing something which shows everyone what I had for breakfast? Absolutely not

You really have to find an equivalent photo on Google so we can see how underdressed she actually was.

in theory though I agree with you. And people saying you’d see less (or more) at the beach…well why is it ok 👌 n a beach to have your entire arse out but not in town? So weird.

I know people always say it but I am not prudish. I do feel like there should be some common decency though especially in front of children. To be honest I don’t know why swimming costumes are so skimpy anyway. Not like we’re all professional swimmers - what’s the need to be streamlined as we splat about like uncoordinated walruses with our toddlers at the local urine-smelling public pool, it’s it? Why not a shorts all in one instead? You know like instead of knicker shaped swimsuit, shorts shaped at the bottom. So weird. Plus would save having to shave bikini lines (or the embarrassment when you forget)

WeeOrcadian · 22/03/2025 15:49

It's not for me

That said

Mind your own and wind your damn neck in

You complained to the staff!!??

PartyPopper57 · 22/03/2025 15:48

I bet the receptionist was laughing at you after you left 😂

YABU…just to be clear.

Canonlythinkofthisone · 22/03/2025 15:47

Namerequired · 22/03/2025 13:54

It’s not for me and I would have raised an eyebrow, but I wouldn’t have complained.

This

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:47

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:45

Interesting take on that.

I took "jealous" to mean of this woman's cracking bod rather than jealous of the cracking bod taking an action I personally wouldn't because I've attached a moral standpoint and my own opinion to it.

Nobody is commenting on the woman’s body, it’s attractiveness etc, it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion. How could anyone be “jealous”. of a random woman with her butt hanging out.

Keiththecatwithamagichat · 22/03/2025 15:47

I would have judged and cringed a bit but not complained to staff. It's up to them to police and say something really.

ThejoyofNC · 22/03/2025 15:47

I would have probably told her to her face if I had a problem, rather than complain to staff.

happinessischocolate · 22/03/2025 15:45

they all wear thong bikinis now OP, on holiday last year sat by the pool I saw nothing but womens bums every bloody 5 minutes 😂 by the end of the 2 weeks I no longer noticed.

depending on the size of the arse it can be a bit much till you get used to it 😂

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:45

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:42

I’m not understanding the “jealous” comments. Jealous of some random woman mooning/sticking her arse at strangers for sexual attention ? 😂 🙄 Any (exhibitionist) idiot/fool can do that.

Interesting take on that.

I took "jealous" to mean of this woman's cracking bod rather than jealous of the cracking bod taking an action I personally wouldn't because I've attached a moral standpoint and my own opinion to it.

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:45

It’s not pearl clutching to have some standards of behaviour in society, be they sexual or otherwise. Having an “anything goes” attitude doesn’t make you cool or chilled; it just means you have no values, no sense of people’s boundaries and no sensitivity to the effect of your action on other people.

Areyouserioushuh · 22/03/2025 15:44

Ooh someones jealous!

ProustianMadeleine · 22/03/2025 15:42

I imagine they'll have a good laugh about you and your pearl clutching in the staff room later.

I feel embarrassed for you that you thought you had the right to complain about this.

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:42

I’m not understanding the “jealous” comments. Jealous of some random woman mooning/sticking her arse at strangers for sexual attention ? 😂 🙄 Any (exhibitionist) idiot/fool can do that.

LlynTegid · 22/03/2025 15:40

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:31

Part of porn culture. Unnecessary to have your whole buttocks on display. I notice there’s a new trend for cutting the front away too so it’s narrowed and you can see almost everything there too 🙄.

As for people who say it’s my right, my freedom to do what I want, blah blah - well individual actions have an impact on society and eg sexually provocative behaviour / dressing becomes “normalised”.

I agree with you. Also a lot of swimwear even when providing coverage is thin, so that if you swim in the sea or a cold pool, the clinginess to your body shows too much.

Redpeach · 22/03/2025 15:39

It is a tad inconsiderate if its making people uncomfortable

EndlessTreadmill · 22/03/2025 15:38

I would have thought she was vulgar and desperate, and had a snigger, but left it at that.
Really, who cares what others wear! It has zero impact on your child (most kids don't notice things like that at that age, it's not a teenage boys swimming club', and any comments can easily be batted away 'oh yes, maybe she outgrew her swimsuit' or 'maybe she had to borrow someone else's suit').
She might be ridiculous, but it's no skin off your nose. You would see the same at a beach.

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 15:37

JessK98 · 22/03/2025 15:32

@Raven25 I believe you are referring to me. My friend who is a member here sent me this link and I’ve had to sign up to respond.

Village Gym in Basingstoke?

You didn’t take issue with some of the other parents wearing next to nothing, is that because they were bigger than I am? I wear what is comfortable for me, and I wasn’t prancing around at all, I was sorting out a water bottle and thought I’d left something in the changing rooms.

It’s a bit insulting that you decided to complain, but the girls on the reception are lovely and I’m glad they didn’t take any notice.

Feel free to say hi to me if you are going next Saturday xx

hahaha you’re mate sent you this ?? Suuuuuure she did.

BringBackVanillaIceCreamMonsterMunch · 22/03/2025 15:36

blowingbubbles1 · 22/03/2025 13:51

You sound jealous…

🙄🙄🙄🙄

JustSawJohnny · 22/03/2025 15:36

blowingbubbles1 · 22/03/2025 13:51

You sound jealous…

She doesn't sound jealous.

A bit prudish, perhaps.

Catsandcannedbeans · 22/03/2025 15:34

You only get so many years of being perky and toned, I say make the most of it. In all honesty, I’d probably have rolled my eyes a bit if her whole arse was out, but unless her whole cooch was out I don’t think I’d have complained.

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 15:34

Soontobe60 · 22/03/2025 15:26

So why do some women have implants in them?

Because they want a more rounded bottom, I expect. So what? Still doesn't make them genitals.

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:34

Upstartled · 22/03/2025 14:47

I mean, nobody wants to go to the leisure centre to be full mooned by an exhibitionist. It's grotty

^ this