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To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

558 replies

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:48

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
JudgeJ · 22/03/2025 16:12

CatrionaBalfour · 22/03/2025 13:56

Just a thong? It's a bit much to have the boobs out, imo.
Women's clothing, especially swimwear, is very sexualised. Just watch today's athletics.

After whom the description 'lunchbox' become popularised? I'd never heard it before 1992, Barcelona, 100m final!

Bubblemonkey · 22/03/2025 16:12

Life’s too short to give a shit about another persons swimwear. If you don’t like it, nobody’s forcing you to look.

thestudio · 22/03/2025 16:10

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 15:57

I thought “modesty” rules were for countries like Iran.

No, most cultures have social mores around appropriate clothing.

I do like how the pro-anal-strings posters on this thread are pitching this as a civill liberties issue, rather than proof that women have internalised
misogynist pressure to be sexually appealing at all times to such a degree that there's literally nowhere, even at their child's swimming lesson, that they aren't objectifying themselves from within their own bodies to ensure they are sufficiently arousing to the male gaze.

This is why women break down - this kind of self-policing, where women have been coopted into their own oppression, makes them simultaneously the subject and object of their own gaze. It splits the self.

Devastating really - not only have things not improved since the 80s when I was in my teens, they've got worse.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 16:10

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:07

Not sure I mentioned anything about being ashamed? Oh no hold on, I definitely didn’t mention anything about being ashamed. That was made up.

It was a question. All questions are made up. So what is wrong with a mother “strutting in a thong” at the pool if there is no shaming involved from you?

Jeschara · 22/03/2025 16:09

Even your husband is embarrased at being seen with you now. I wonder why.
A word of advice, mind your own business. Live and let live, and let the woman wear what she is comfortable with.

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:07

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 16:05

So mothers should be ashamed of their bodies? What’s wrong with strutting in a thong at the pool?

Not sure I mentioned anything about being ashamed? Oh no hold on, I definitely didn’t mention anything about being ashamed. That was made up.

TicklishReader · 22/03/2025 16:06

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:02

Well there you have it. Someone strutting around in a thong being compared with a woman feeding her baby. Seriously?

She was strutting as well as prancing and parading?

OilyTussle · 22/03/2025 16:06

Bolide · 22/03/2025 14:26

Last time I went on holiday, most of the women were wearing thong bikinis, not one person looked good in it, all the buttocks were horrid and full of cellulite. One young girl who had quite a nice figure turned around and her buttocks were all lumpy and awful. If people are going to wear them at least check in a mirror before you go out

So if my body doesn’t look how you seem it should look I should keep it covered up? Grow up

Waitingfordoggo · 22/03/2025 16:05

Thong bikinis are everywhere these days- on women of all ages and sizes. I visited a waterfall in Spain and was climbing some steps behind a woman who was wearing one. It was a bit much to be so close to a stranger’s ringpiece with barely any fabric in between.

So I’m not a fan really. If I wanted to look at bare arses, I’d look on the internet or go to a nudist beach.

But I think it’s just the way things are now and nothing to be done about it. I certainly wouldn’t have made a complaint at reception. I’d have just looked the other way and tried to forget about it.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 16:05

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:02

Well there you have it. Someone strutting around in a thong being compared with a woman feeding her baby. Seriously?

So mothers should be ashamed of their bodies? What’s wrong with strutting in a thong at the pool?

DeeThree · 22/03/2025 16:04

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

Of course she did. It wasn't worn for swimming, it was worn for attention

ThatsNotMyTeen · 22/03/2025 16:03

Namerequired · 22/03/2025 13:54

It’s not for me and I would have raised an eyebrow, but I wouldn’t have complained.

This

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:02

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 15:59

Next OP will be going after the mums who dare to breastfeed at the pool for getting their baps out.

Well there you have it. Someone strutting around in a thong being compared with a woman feeding her baby. Seriously?

ElfAndSafetyBored · 22/03/2025 16:02

BrownPapery · 22/03/2025 15:58

This style is just normal swimwear in a lot of places. I couldn't care less and don't believe that a small child would see a big difference between a normal bikini and a thong bikini, to the extent that one is normal and one is no clothes. Some people think wearing a one-piece in mixed company is obscene, so careful what you wish for.

I agree regarding a baby but not a small child, who absolutely will notice the arse on display. And at an age we are teaching them that your private parts are private.

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 16:01

I assume those who think it’s perfectly acceptable dress your kids in these bikinis also?

Parker231 · 22/03/2025 16:01

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 14:43

How was I body shaming her? I didn’t comment on whether she had a nice body or not, I said her choice of attire was completely inappropriate.

She may have thought it was appropriate and I don’t imagine she is bothered what anyone else thinks. No different from the range of outfits by the pool or beach on holiday.

MajorCarolDanvers · 22/03/2025 16:00

You actually complained?

game of thrones shame GIF
SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 15:59

Next OP will be going after the mums who dare to breastfeed at the pool for getting their baps out.

ElfAndSafetyBored · 22/03/2025 15:59

I don’t care about this sort of thing on beaches (more space) or in adult settings but I do think it’s not appropriate in places that are aimed at kids/families.

I can’t stand it at Centre Parcs as you end up queuing for a water slide for 45 minutes with your 13 year old boy with a teenage/twenties arse in his face. It’s nasty.

BrownPapery · 22/03/2025 15:58

This style is just normal swimwear in a lot of places. I couldn't care less and don't believe that a small child would see a big difference between a normal bikini and a thong bikini, to the extent that one is normal and one is no clothes. Some people think wearing a one-piece in mixed company is obscene, so careful what you wish for.

SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice · 22/03/2025 15:57

I thought “modesty” rules were for countries like Iran.

coxesorangepippin · 22/03/2025 15:56

Saw one like that last year

The kids could not stop laughing at the woman's bum, and I'm not surprised really

LazyArsedMagician · 22/03/2025 15:55

RUDaisy · 22/03/2025 15:47

Nobody is commenting on the woman’s body, it’s attractiveness etc, it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion. How could anyone be “jealous”. of a random woman with her butt hanging out.

So what you're saying is that MY ASSUMPTION that the jealousy questions were related to attractiveness is irrelevant but YOUR ASSUMPTION that this woman is doing it for sexual attention is relevant?

Ok good to know thanks.

ItsFineReally · 22/03/2025 15:53

We need a diagram where we can all mark the point at which it becomes inappropriate!

Where is your personal line on what's ok? a-e.

To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’
To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’
To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’
To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’
To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’
SiobhanSharpe · 22/03/2025 15:52

thestudio · 22/03/2025 14:46

<gimmer> I watched love island with dd and was absolutely goggling. I'm unlikely to be on a pool holiday any time soon, but I would find it excruciating to be surrounded by people with string up their bum - not only because it feels really really weird to me to be able to see the entirety of someones arse, given the social norms that still pertain, but also because.. they've got string up their bum.

String, up their bum.

I know, right? Excruciating.
Unless they have manged to desensitise the, er, anal area.
(Shuders at the thought. I'd have to slather on the Lanacane cream -- contains lidocaine, a topical anaesthetic.)

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