To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

@Raven25 I believe you are referring to me. My friend who is a member here sent me this link and I’ve had to sign up to respond.

Village Gym in Basingstoke?

You didn’t take issue with some of the other parents wearing next to nothing, is that because they were bigger than I am? I wear what is comfortable for me, and I wasn’t prancing around at all, I was sorting out a water bottle and thought I’d left something in the changing rooms.

It’s a bit insulting that you decided to complain, but the girls on the reception are lovely and I’m glad they didn’t take any notice.

Feel free to say hi to me if you are going next Saturday xx

I doubt it's as deep as that. It's far more likely that the offending swimwear was the only type she had, having bought it to avoid tan lines on holiday. I doubt anyone at a Village fitness suite is desperate for the male gaze. David Lloyd clubs, on the other hand, I've heard they're a hotbed of iniquity.

All excellent adjectives to describe a confident person.

No, most cultures have social mores around appropriate clothing.

I do like how the pro-anal-strings posters on this thread are pitching this as a civill liberties issue, rather than proof that women have internalised
misogynist pressure to be sexually appealing at all times to such a degree that there's literally nowhere, even at their child's swimming lesson, that they aren't objectifying themselves from within their own bodies to ensure they are sufficiently arousing to the male gaze.

This is why women break down - this kind of self-policing, where women have been coopted into their own oppression, makes them simultaneously the subject and object of their own gaze. It splits the self.

Devastating really - not only have things not improved since the 80s when I was in my teens, they've got worse.

Sorry pressed too soon - the desire to avoid tan lines if in the sun, but clearly not a factor here. And very few people who wear them seem to have taken an objective look at their rear view to consider whether their bare arse is truly a thing of beauty for others to behold.

Yes, but most liberal cultures have discarded the idea of dictating women’s clothing choices on the basis of “modesty”

Wearing a thong swimsuit doesn’t mean a woman has “internalised misogyny” and is doing it for “arousing the male gaze” It also isn’t “oppression” to wear a thong if you feel like it.

You sound jealous…

It was a question based on something I didn’t say, or even think. Plucked out of the air. Ask me another …

No, most cultures have social mores around appropriate clothing.

I do like how the pro-anal-strings posters on this thread are pitching this as a civill liberties issue, rather than proof that women have internalised
misogynist pressure to be sexually appealing at all times to such a degree that there's literally nowhere, even at their child's swimming lesson, that they aren't objectifying themselves from within their own bodies to ensure they are sufficiently arousing to the male gaze.

This is why women break down - this kind of self-policing, where women have been coopted into their own oppression, makes them simultaneously the subject and object of their own gaze. It splits the self.

Devastating really - not only have things not improved since the 80s when I was in my teens, they've got worse.

You should be teaching your child not to be rude and comment on other people appearances.

It was a question. All questions are made up. So what is wrong with a mother “strutting in a thong” at the pool if there is no shaming involved from you?

It's only buttocks. We all have them. Nothing to get het up about.

<gimmer> I watched love island with dd and was absolutely goggling. I'm unlikely to be on a pool holiday any time soon, but I would find it excruciating to be surrounded by people with string up their bum - not only because it feels really really weird to me to be able to see the entirety of someones arse, given the social norms that still pertain, but also because.. they've got string up their bum.

String, up their bum.

Jealous of not walking around wearing something which shows everyone what I had for breakfast? Absolutely not

She was strutting as well as prancing and parading?

You really have to find an equivalent photo on Google so we can see how underdressed she actually was.

in theory though I agree with you. And people saying you’d see less (or more) at the beach…well why is it ok 👌 n a beach to have your entire arse out but not in town? So weird.

I know people always say it but I am not prudish. I do feel like there should be some common decency though especially in front of children. To be honest I don’t know why swimming costumes are so skimpy anyway. Not like we’re all professional swimmers - what’s the need to be streamlined as we splat about like uncoordinated walruses with our toddlers at the local urine-smelling public pool, it’s it? Why not a shorts all in one instead? You know like instead of knicker shaped swimsuit, shorts shaped at the bottom. So weird. Plus would save having to shave bikini lines (or the embarrassment when you forget)

YANBU to say it’s inappropriate however YABU to kick off about it. Who can be bothered.

Get a grip and tell your child not to be so rude by pointing at people and commenting on their body or what they are wearing. Do you seriously think toddlers give a shit that someone is showing a bit of skin? Sounds like your attitudes are rubbing off on your child.