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AIBU?

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To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

558 replies

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:48

This morning I went to a weekly parents/young children swimming session with my DD at a national hotel/leisure club chain. We go most weeks and there’s usually a similar crowd in attendance.

It is predominantly other Mum’s who go, with the odd Dad.

Today, one of the other Mum’s was wearing what I can only describe as a thong, in fact it was more of a g string and barely contained her modesty. My DD pointed at her from the pool when she was walking in the opposite direction and asked where her clothes were. I could tell others in the pool had noticed her and didn’t know what to think.

Everyone else was wearing all in one style costumes or the odd bikini which actually fits.

I found this completely inappropriate given it was a swimming session for toddlers/young children, that outfit was more appropriate for someone on only fans!

On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:51

@JessK98

Why are you wearing a thong for a swimming lesson for kids?

CurlewKate · 22/03/2025 16:50

I wouldn’t have complained but I wouldn’t like it either. But I HATE it when I end up on the same side as people who use the term “pearl clutching” or leap to “you must be jealous” though.

CorbyTrouserPress · 22/03/2025 16:48

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:47

Oooh - this took a nice turn :) Wonder if OP will have the balls to reply.

I am sorry there’s this thread about you. I hope you’re seeing that the vast majority disagree w the OP.

More power to you & keep rocking whatever you want to rock!!

She’ll have to remember to name change first

Sapienza · 22/03/2025 16:47

*On the way out, I spoke to one of the staff on reception and asked them whether they enforce certain standards to which I was told it’s up to visitors what they wear but they draw the line at any full nudity - which I’d argue this was. They didn’t seem too bothered and the young female colleague listening in next to her said ‘it’s nice to see a mum with that much confidence’ which I felt was rude. It’s not about confidence, it’s about respect.

I’ve got home and told DH who thinks I was ridiculous to complain and says he’d be embarrassed to turn up there with me next time we go to the gym together!*

Do not compound this embarrassment by writing a letter of complaint.

I sincerely hope that you are not members of this 'national hotel/leisure club chain.'

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:47

JessK98 · 22/03/2025 15:32

@Raven25 I believe you are referring to me. My friend who is a member here sent me this link and I’ve had to sign up to respond.

Village Gym in Basingstoke?

You didn’t take issue with some of the other parents wearing next to nothing, is that because they were bigger than I am? I wear what is comfortable for me, and I wasn’t prancing around at all, I was sorting out a water bottle and thought I’d left something in the changing rooms.

It’s a bit insulting that you decided to complain, but the girls on the reception are lovely and I’m glad they didn’t take any notice.

Feel free to say hi to me if you are going next Saturday xx

Oooh - this took a nice turn :) Wonder if OP will have the balls to reply.

I am sorry there’s this thread about you. I hope you’re seeing that the vast majority disagree w the OP.

More power to you & keep rocking whatever you want to rock!!

BrandNewHeretic · 22/03/2025 16:46

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 13:51

She spent more time prancing around by the loungers on the side of the pool than actually in it, like it was some sort of parade..

Of course she did 😂

BlitheSpirits · 22/03/2025 16:46

I wouldnt have complained on the grounds that it is for the operating company to set the dresscode, not me.

juicylipbalm · 22/03/2025 16:46

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 16:41

Is it? I may not agree with OP but if there are to be cheek coverage standards then an infographic is the perfect way to display them.

If the sports centre had asked for ideas on how this can be displayed then yeah, sure. But they haven’t? The OP is taking it upon herself to impress that on head office. That is what’s weird.

Redpeach · 22/03/2025 16:46

Justsaywhatyoumean123 · 22/03/2025 16:43

Some people aren't ashamed of their bodies. I know it's shocking!

What's shame got to do with it

LucyBee0ox · 22/03/2025 16:44

YANBU. That’s so rank.

Justsaywhatyoumean123 · 22/03/2025 16:43

Some people aren't ashamed of their bodies. I know it's shocking!

Californianpoppy · 22/03/2025 16:43

Funnywonder · 22/03/2025 16:16

All excellent adjectives to describe a confident person.

Or a pony.

Smallmercies · 22/03/2025 16:42

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 14:43

The jealous comments - can someone please elaborate on what it is I am jealous of exactly? I’d love to know. My DH loves my figure but I don’t feel the need to parade it at a kids swimming class.

All your talk about prancing and parading is very demeaning and misogynist. Perhaps you shouldn't have kept staring at her?

CunningLinguist1 · 22/03/2025 16:41

Bbq1 · 22/03/2025 15:21

Yanbu. Nobody wants to see a woman's genitalia emerging from a too small costume🤮 Especially not at a family swim on a Saturday morning! It's ridiculous because if a man had his genitals uncovered he'd be kicked out. What's the difference?

Her genitals were not uncovered!

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 16:41

juicylipbalm · 22/03/2025 16:37

So unbelievably weird

Is it? I may not agree with OP but if there are to be cheek coverage standards then an infographic is the perfect way to display them.

Yellow2024 · 22/03/2025 16:39

Op i agree with you, it's inappropriate.

If a man was wearing a thong in a swimming pool everyone would be up in arms and wouldn't be saying it's just buttocks then!

Whycanineverthinkofone · 22/03/2025 16:38

VisitationRights · 22/03/2025 16:29

I think there are a lot of disingenuous posts, if a man rocked up at the pool in a Borat style outfit or am sure plenty would say it was inappropriate.

Well yes exactly. I’d like to see the responses to a thread where a dad in a kids swim lesson chooses a borat tankini.

i mean most men and women object to Speedos on men as “too revealing” if all the threads on French swimming pools are to be believed.

juicylipbalm · 22/03/2025 16:37

Raven25 · 22/03/2025 14:41

I like the idea above of images up of acceptable swimwear. I think I’m going to email their head office with this as a constructive suggestion. I probably won’t get anywhere, but there’s no harm in trying.

So unbelievably weird

MarioLink · 22/03/2025 16:34

I would have told DC she'd forgot her bikini bottoms and got on with swimming. Not really appropriate and you are totally within your rights to complain if you wish, if you aren't happy with their response you could send an e-mail to head office. I wouldn't worry about my kids seeing that though. My younger one would find it funny and my older one would think she was making a very poor fashion choice.

Redpeach · 22/03/2025 16:33

The 'don't look' argument is ridiculous

IlooklikeNigella · 22/03/2025 16:33

She wasn't naked in any way. She could have been from Brazil or somewhere that thong bikinis are entirely the norm.

To be honest, I wouldn't like it but only because I I would be jealous (but I'd admit that to myself).

Thingymajigii · 22/03/2025 16:33

@JessK98 You would be asked to leave or change at the David Lloyd

thestudio · 22/03/2025 16:31

RobertaFirmino · 22/03/2025 16:27

I doubt it's as deep as that. It's far more likely that the offending swimwear was the only type she had, having bought it to avoid tan lines on holiday. I doubt anyone at a Village fitness suite is desperate for the male gaze. David Lloyd clubs, on the other hand, I've heard they're a hotbed of iniquity.

Ha! Just to be clear - it's inequity, not iniquity, that I deplore😁

ItGhoul · 22/03/2025 16:31

Oh, grow up and get a grip. Your child isn’t going to die because it sees someone’s bum.

Thingymajigii · 22/03/2025 16:31

@Raven25 I don’t think you’re being that unreasonable. Thongs are banned in the swimming pools and spa at David Lloyd for a reason.
I agree with others that it’s a form of exhibitionism, which is just gross. I also believe that if the person were male or overweight, there would likely be more complaints.

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