To have complained about another mum’s swimming ‘costume’

I feel fortunate to have the special power to avert my eyes from things I don't wish to look at.

My family knows not to stare rudely at other people's bodies, so yes.

I’d rather she didn’t but ultimately she’s an adult and it’s up to her. I wouldn’t say anything to her. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think there would be a fairly different response on appropriateness depending on the woman’s figure (which fair play the OP has not alluded to). A pert slim bum in a g-string vs a large saggy cellulite ridden bum. Either way I would agree that some people might prefer that the bum was more covered and I would be in support of the swimming pool having some ground rules.

Unless you could see her sphincter ywbu. Bet you gave the staff a right laugh.

So a recent thread discussed a poster not “allowing” her adult dd to wear a thong bikini on holiday.

general comments were overwhelmingly that o/p was right and if the dd wanted to come on holiday she could leave the arse cheek display at home.

so are we double standards here? It’s ok for a stranger to walk around with their butts out but not our DD’s?

those of you with a dd, would you allow them to wear a thong at a family pool session?

what do you do when you go into the changing rooms and people take off their costumes after showering? Your dc are going to see naked woman in the changing area so what is the difference if they have a thing on in the swimming area?

I prefer the title Bottom Monitor

This. “We don’t make personal comments, it might hurt someone’s feelings” is a lesson I’ve taught my kids from day dot.

OP you sound extremely judgemental, uptight and rather prudish. Just try to live and let live, eh? Who made you the butt cheek police?

To be honest I'd just briefly feel embarrassed for her and then get on with the activity. Never in a million years would I complain though.

I think she means she gets weetabix on her cheeks.

You can't expect a hotel to tell a guest (who has paid a lot of money for accomidation) that they can't use the pool because some mums think their costume is inappropriate. It is a hotel, not a community sports facility.

i mean I might have a look and me and dh/dc might have a little giggle but no it wouldn’t offend me.

how wonderful women can wear what they want here 🙌

Do... people eat their own bums? Not for breakfast, surely??

You need to teach your kid some manners firstly. Pointing at someone firstly and then calling them out on their appearance. You both sound lovely- not.

God there been a lot of these thong bikini threads on here recently.

So if bum cheeks are so non sexual, would you be happy for a 14 year old daughter to wear a thong bikini to the local pool

It may have been inappropriate for a toddler session but this woman may have been a hotel guest who wanted to make use of the facilities she has paid for.

@MeliusMoriQuamServire
I see it as vulgar and attention seeking too. I don't see it as empowering - in fact the opposite in many respects. But in light of a long, long history of double standards and slut shaming through the ages, I have a problem with the idea that women's and girls' attire is a fair target for comment.

"You sound jealous" - the bastion comment of the "liberals" who accept anything to be "in"

Not unreasonable to think it's a bit too revealing for a parent and child swim session (and I quite like a high cut Brazilian bikini bottom!) but unreasonable to say anything I think, and even weirder if you are actually going to follow up on your complaint.

Also using the word "prancing" and talking about "showing everyone what you had for breakfast" is a totally gross way to speak about someone and makes you sound really nasty. Also your kid thinking it's ok to point and comment on people's looks - clearly picking that up from you, it's not the flex you think it is to mention what your daughter said. Id be ashamed if my kids did that. I brought them up not to comment on people's appearances.

Seriously you complained about seeing a bum cheek in a cossie at a pool

if walking round sains fair enough

but it was a swimming pool

@Raven25
If there wasn't a sign up asking all patrons to have their buttocks fully covered by their swimwear, then you were being very unreasonable to complain. What others choose to wear when swimming is none of your business unless it's in contravention of pool rules.

You are entitled to your own choices and to your opinion of other peoples choices, but you are not entitled to complain, or stare, or make remarks to the person.

You shouldn't make remarks to your child either. You should gently teach your child that its not ok to point out other people's sartorial choices or body parts or to make remarks about them. As your child gets older, the message will sink in.

Hard no from me. I don't see arses hanging out, shorts up your arse with cheeks visible, those scrunch bum leggings, leggings pulled up to your armpits to display camel toes, tits falling out and similar stuff as 'empowering'. You're free to do so and to teach it to your kids, but I don't.

I see it as vulgar, desperate, gross, pathetic and attention seeking. And I'm not going to apologize for it. All the above attire is not 'comfy', what's 'comfy' about jean shorts halfway up your arse? It's not good looking, it's not even sexy. It's the lowest form of attention seeking.

I have the body to show off, yet I don't walk around trusting my pretty much naked arse to people's faces in toddler's swim class (or anywhere else). It's gross. And yes, I do judge, absolutely. I'd also judge a man, if he showed up in Borat's swimsuit, just as hard.

Have some self respect, you're not a piece of meat. You don't need to have all your goods on show publically to be valued. That's what I'm teaching my kids. IDGAF if that's 'misoginystic' or some such.

And no, if some woman is prancing around kiddie's pool with her butt on display - I'd definitely comment and see no problem if my kids do. You want attention? You got it. Does she have a right to dress however she wants? Oh absolutely. Just as I do have a right to tell her what I think of it.